3.13 – Honesty scenarios – feedback

Honesty is straightforward communication: it is telling the truth, and it is being fair and sincere. If you are honest with your children they are much more likely to be honest with you. If you make mistakes, own up to them. If your children are honest with you, thank them. You will have a healthier relationship with your children if you are honest with them.

Read what others would have done in these scenarios. Think about what’s good and bad about the different responses.

Scenario	What others said
1. Ill toddler	Nothing, I’ll sneak away when she’s playing. “Honey I’ll be 5 minutes.” I’d say,”I'm taking your sister to the doctors, she has been feeling poorly. I will hopefully be no longer than 1 hour so I’ll be home in time for bath time. Auntie Jo will look after you ‘til I get back.”
2. Crying in front of the children	I shouted loudly that it’s really hard being a single parent. Later I told her I was tired, the gas bill was expensive, everyone occasionally has one of those days and it’s natural to ‘let it out’. Then I made a cup of tea and called my best friend later when my daughter went to her friend’s house. I pretended there was nothing wrong and immediately launched into an effort to change the subject, and said she didn’t need to worry.
3. Sleepover spending	I explained to her that she needed to help tidying the house, organising the bedding and that I’d like to limit the food to something simple and home-cooked rather than food that costs more than my budget, but that she could help choose what I make. I cancelled the party. I got really stressed, stayed up late trying to organise things and got over tired. I started wondering if I could borrow money from anyone and I got snappy with her.

Scenario

What others said

1. Ill toddler

Nothing, I’ll sneak away when she’s playing.

“Honey I’ll be 5 minutes.”

I’d say,”I'm taking your sister to the doctors, she has been feeling poorly. I will hopefully be no longer than 1 hour so I’ll be home in time for bath time. Auntie Jo will look after you ‘til I get back.”

2. Crying in front of the children

I shouted loudly that it’s really hard being a single parent. Later I told her I was tired, the gas bill was expensive, everyone occasionally has one of those days and it’s natural to ‘let it out’. Then I made a cup of tea and called my best friend later when my daughter went to her friend’s house.

I pretended there was nothing wrong and immediately launched into an effort to change the subject, and said she didn’t need to worry.

3. Sleepover spending

I explained to her that she needed to help tidying the house, organising the bedding and that I’d like to limit the food to something simple and home-cooked rather than food that costs more than my budget, but that she could help choose what I make.

I cancelled the party.

I got really stressed, stayed up late trying to organise things and got over tired.

I started wondering if I could borrow money from anyone and I got snappy with her.

Which of these responses do you think are the best ones, and what is wrong with the ones you think are not so good. Have you had a similar scenario relating to honesty? Can you think of a better way you could have handled it?

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