4.6 – Teaching our children family rules

How can we help our children to know what the rules in our families are? Knowing the rules is the first step for children to behave in the way we want them to.

For each age, write what you think are appropriate rules. For each rule, write what you think you can do to make your child respect the rule. Be realistic. If you know that withdrawing privileges will not get results, think of another way of enforcing the rules! For each of the ages below, write some appropriate rules in your worksheet, and how you will make the rules stick.

Many of these suggestions about rules can be used with our children from early childhood through to adulthood. Rules are important; children and young people feel secure when they know what these rules are and what they need to do.

As our children grow and develop we can help them build good self esteem to be confident and to behave in a respectful way. By praising our children and giving them clear guidelines with rules, boundaries and consequences we are giving them the opportunity to succeed.

Children learn both good and bad behaviour from us. Not from rules and what we tell them, but from watching and copying us. Rather than doing what we tell them, they are likely to do as we do. If we are stressed or angry, our children are more likely to be unsettled and difficult. If we are fair and calm, they are more likely to listen to what we say.

This does not mean we have to be “Perfect Parent” all the time. Life happens to all of us, and some days it is hard to keep calm and not lose out temper when things go wrong. Children will remember the good times as well as the bad times, and will work out that it is easier to behave reasonably in the long term.

Have a look at some more examples of how we can teach our children family rules on the following page.

Next: 4.7 – Teaching our children family rules – feedbackBack: 4.5 – Ages & stages – helping your own children