5.2 – Ignore where you can
Children tend to continue with behaviour when it is rewarded and stop when it is ignored. You must decide which behaviour is actually ok (it might be their behaviour is appropriate to their age) and always respond in the same way; otherwise your children will be confused. If you can, and only when it is safe to do so, try to ignore some bad behaviour, for example a child banging an unbreakable toy on the kitchen floor (annoying and loud!) – reinforce good behaviour by praising when they stop. It might help to distract the child or offer them something more constructive to do.
Let’s visualise the situation…
Ty: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Your body language: Ignoring by facing the other way, no eye contact, no facial expressions – no attention.
Ty: … SILENCE
Your verbal response: “Oh Ty it’s lovely when you are quiet” then next the old distraction technique: “Would you like to help me put these clothes into the washing machine?” and of course praise again, “You are such a good helper, thank you”.
Now let’s look at the following scenarios: Can you ignore them? Can you distract or praise the next good behaviour? For each of the following scenarios, write what you would do and say.
| Scenario | |
|---|---|
| 1. Omar the Terrible: Omar is three. He has started sticking his tongue out and blowing raspberries when you ask him to do anything. | |
| 2. Ruby the Rebel: Six year old Ruby is whining incessantly about wanting to watch her programme but you have agreed to let her brother watch his programme. | |
| 3. Angry Felix: Felix is nine, he is banging a stick off the rubbish bin because he’s annoyed that it is time to come in from playing outside. | |
| 4. Teenage Josie: Josie is 14, she is stropping around and rolling her eyes because she thinks you are the most annoying human being – EVER! |
Next: 5.3 – Ignore where you can – feedbackBack: 5.1 – Session 5. Behaviour techniques: introduction