9. Negotiation
There is more to assertiveness to than saying “no"! And you can’t expect to get anything and everything you want just by asking for it in a calm assertive way.
The three line method helps explain to others i) why you aren’t happy with a situation, ii) what your needs are and iii) how you are willing to compromise to meet the needs of both yourself and others.
In your worksheet, try this method by answering these questions scenarios 2, 3 and 4:
1. How I feel, 2. What I would like to happen. 3. My suggested compromise.
We have done the first scenario for you as an example.
| Situation | How I feel | What I would like to happen | My suggested compromise |
|---|---|---|---|
| Scenario 1: You’re on a family cinema trip with friends who want to watch a film that will scare your child. | It’s not fair that I have to either cope with a scared child tonight, or seem like a spoil-sport and ruin the day out. | I’d like my friends to want to watch a different film. | Me and my child can watch a different film or look at the shops and meet you afterwards. |
- Scenario 2:Your 10 year old child is constantly asking for things you can’t afford.
- Scenario 3:You’re having a night out with a friend, but they’re talking about their problems all the time.
- Scenario 4:Your neighbour leaves their bin out all week and it blocks the entrance to your home.
Next: 10. Listening and “feedback filters”Back: 8. Assertive body language