I don't really know what to say and am trying to keep strong. Am angry, numb and confused as had no idea my husband wanted to leave. There is no chance of trying again and have to accept the fact it is over which is extremely difficult. He is being supportive towards financial worries and that is something I suppose! My son seems to be coping ok and am trying to keep it together for him. He has seen him and I have said no matter how I am feeling I will not stand in the way of them having a relationship.
I have been a single parent when i was very young, have a grown up daughter but this is so much harder as I was not in a long term relationship and you don't realise how much of your life is given to the other person.
I have my family and some great friends, plus a very understanding boss. It sounds like I have support but that doesn't help me feeling like i am loosing it and my world has ended!
Jules x
Hi Jules
I'm so sorry that your marriage has ended. I'm glad that you have the support of family and friends, as they can help get you through so much. This is, I know, devastating though.
Hopefully we can offer some support to you.
As Louise says, be kind to you.
Hi jules. Welcome along to One Space. Lots of people here have been through similar to what you are going through, so you'll receive every bit of support that you need right now. Its great that you have supportive workmates, family and friends. Keep posting, we'll all be here for you. Take care. xx
Hi jules, welcome to one space, it is a really good site where you will find lots of friendly people xxx
Hi Jules72
I am glad that you have posted on here, even though you say that you don't know what to say, just by getting it out can be a healer.
You have been with this chap a long time and your lives were intertwined and it sounds as though you had no idea separation was on the cards. Louise suggested a great article on How to recover from a broken heart, I hope that you will find it a useful tool.
I remember that feeling that my world had ended, but remember it is only the end of the world as you knew it, it is now the BEGINNING of everything and you can create it as you wish.
15 years is a long time to be with one person so again as Louise says, grieve, take time to grieve, allow yourself to grieve. Cry a river then build a bridge and get over it - I love that saying!
Jules like you I had a long marriage, close to 17 years. Trust me when I say I know how you feel. I too was left with a son who was 16 at the time.
I know it sounds a cliche but time really is the best healer but you will never ever forget your life within your marriage, mine was violent and controlling but there was good times too which to this day 3 years on I still smile and chuckle at.
The pain you feel is heartfelt and I feel for you you are essentially emotional rollercoaster. Anger, tears, pain will all be common place, but thats what makes you human and what makes you you.
Im so glad youve got support including a supportive boss as you are in amongst the most awful time ever but it does get easier trust me. The tears will dry up and then you will think "wow ive never cried for a whole week/month" etc.
Little steps for now. Your life as youve been so used to has what seems been pulled from beneath you but slowly you will get to your feet and walk and run again.
Keep posting on here, the support on here is amazing, some wonderful caring people who will give you words of advice, support or just make you smile.
Big hugs x
Hi Jules72
You are very welcome here, thank you for sharing what is going on with you.
Yes, you do have support, and that is great, but no-one REALLY can know how hard it is until they have been through it. Breaking up is a painful process, involving lots of different stages of grief, not just for the person but grief at losing your seciruty and hopes and dreams, in fact it can feel like losing part of yourself. You are in shock at the moment, by the sounds of it, and this is the first "stage"
The good news is that we are all here for you and many of us have been exactly where you are now, and lived to tell the tale. It's important to LET yourself feel whatever you feel, and to be as kind to yourself as possible. Great that you have an understanding boss but work can be a focus and help you get through this time, even if you do reduced hours for a while.
Have a look at this helpful article about recovering from heartbreak
Please keep posting. How is your son doing?