Hello all
My name is Lizzie, I just stumbled across this site and found it very humbling and informative, I have a story and will try and keep it short. I am 41 have an 11yr old daughter i was with her father for 12yr when I was 7mth pregnant I found out he was having an affair I couldnt forgive this and hard as it was I left I have always worked so financially I muddled through, I was alone for many years then I met a new partner I was with him for 4 years I had a miscarriage this is when my life started falling apart not long after that I suffered a violent attack in my home I defended myself and ended up geting arrested for sticking up for myself I ended up leaving my job through lack of support through this period from them, all charges were droped and the person who attacked me walked away I have never been in any kind of trouble and found the whole thing unbearable and started suffereing depression and anxiety I have struggled to find work and found myself to be a shadow of my former self, not one to wallow ive tried to cope as best i can I split with my partner just before christmas and have just found out im 8wkss pregnant the thought of being a single parent again especially at my age is quite frightening also I am suffering with extreme sickness and fainting it is really taking it out of me physically and mentally, I was due to start a new job on the 14th but have to turn it down on recommendation off my doctor due to the driving involved, my concern is what do I tell the work programme about the job ? if i tell them Ive turned it down they will stop my JSA should I tell them I didnt get the job ? I dont tell lies as a rule but I feel under imense pressure from them, my doctor is happy to sign me on the sick as my health seems to be depleating and I fear I may slip into depression again, on top of that my sister who is my rock has just informed me she has got cancer, I havn't told ayone about my pregnancy as I feel under the circumstances it isn't the right time, the question I have is what do I tell the work programme ? I really can't think straight or know who to turn to for advice..
Thank you for reading my story
Hello Lizymac
Just to say a big welcome to One Space, you are not alone, and I endorse everything Anna has said 100%. Hooray for you!! we are glad to have you here 
Hi lizymac
Thank you for sharing, there are a lot of things going on here aren't there, I am not surprised if you are feeling completely emotionally, physically and physcologically exhausted.
I am sure there have been good times along the way, however I have just picked out below the difficult stuff, not forgetting that you are already raising your daughter single handedly and holding down a job!
That is a lot to deal with.
Rather than delve into every issue right now, your initial question is 'do you tell the work programme that you are not taking the job.' Personally I would accept your doctors offer of being signed off sick, then you wouldn't need to tell any lies and you would be able to give yourself a bit of a break, which I believe you thoroughly need and deserve.
I am wondering if you want to continue with this current pregnancy and whether you could ask the doctor if they could refer you to some therapy to help you with your decision?
Is there a local womens centre local to you where you could get some support, do you know? To be able to reclaim your old self you will need to go through every trauma you have experienced and work through it and it would be great to have some face to face support as well as what we can offer you here.
I am going to stop there and wait to hear back from you with regards to what you want to do with the job centre, support from docs and what is available locally and then we can go from there.
We are here for you 100%, someone is on every single day and we can help you through this step by step, well done for taking the biggest plunge by sharing what is going on for you