Hi, I have a 19yr old son that is a menace to live with, verbal abuse, dominating the house and other siblings, threatening to kill the family pet (just a threat), extorting money when spent his own, on cannabis, just nasty mood swings from being nice to extremely nasty, feel like selling up and leaving, if this was an ex it would be much easier to get rid of the problem but when its you own flesh and blood much harder. I have had the police on a couple of occasions, but always end up retracting my statements pulling at my heartstrings. I have felt suicidal at time if not for my three younger children who must be affected with all of his behaviour, he has been told has adhd and a problem child from 5 yrs old. thanks
Hi albelite
My heart goes out to you, this is a difficult position to be in. Gem has given you some great starting points.
Getting your son diagnosed if he isn't already is a good place to start, it is quite common for children with behaviour disorders to turn to drugs to cope with how they feel, but as Gem has already said this can have adverse effects.
Most drug and alcohol agencies offer support to families being effected by a family members drug use and can offer support to your son aswell.
The Family Information Service can put you in contact with support services locally to you that can help.
You are right this will be having an impact on your other children and their needs should be taken into consideration too, if your son refuses to get help you may have to ask him to leave. You can also message our Relationship Expert who could offer advice around this.
Do you have support from family and friends? Have you spoken with your son about how this affects you and the other children?
Hi albelite
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds terrible.
I only have small children at the moment so I have no experience to offer regarding parenting teenagers, but I'm sure you will get lots of support on here from others who do.
Has he actually been diagnosed with ADHD? If not, he really needs a diagnosis. He should also stay away from recreational drugs. They tend to have a very different affect than anticipated. In actual fact his use of cannabis may be causing his extreme behaviour.
Check out www.adduk.org for more info on ADHD in adults.
I agree you really need to think about how this is affecting the other three children. You don't want them to start copying his behaviour and they deserve to feel safe in their own home.
Is there anything you can do that isn't involving the police? It's quite a big step to press charges against your own son and you're obviously not quite able to follow through yet.
Could he move out? Does he have a job? Finding a half way and continuing to support him but not in your home, has to be better than living with it or running away from it.
I really feel for you this sounds like an impossible situation.
Love Gem
x