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hi i need help from anyone who is willing. i have a baby with my partner but the past year since i got pregnant he haschanged always constantly puttin me down callin me all the names he can think of he hits me shouts and throws things at me started while i was pregnant and he even does it when im holdin my baby now. im not allowed to see my family he says my job is to stay at his and cook and clean and take his dogs for a walk and he then complains i dont do it right. him and his friends constantly laugh at me and call me a joke and an unfit mum but i do everything for my baby he doesnt help pay so the child benifit money i get is all me and R had to live off and im struggling but he has bought a 15grand car. i am so fed up and need to get out for R's sake aswell as my own but i am so scared as hes made threats sayin he'l kill me and smash my head in. i now weigh under 7 stone keep fainting and have no energy he says im makin it up for attention but he is makin me ill. please can some one help me? i cant afford a counsellor and he takes the phone to work with him so i cant use it. please help thank you
Hi vicki. What an awful time you're having.
It sounds to me as if you need to get out of this situation immediately. You need to take your daughter and get to your family where I'm sure they will be shocked to see how things are and they will protect you. Having lost my Dad, I know that nothing will shadow your needs - especially after almost two years.
At this moment in time, yours and your daughter's safety is what matters. Counselling is something that can come once things are more settled.
Once out of a situation, it is surprising how quickly your friends will come back.
I have put the link to women's aid at the top of my reply. There will be help there.
How far away are your family?
You need to make sure to that you delete history on the computer in case this is checked.
Take care
Hello vicki1603
My heart goes out to you in this awful situation.
You partner is showing all the classic signs of an ABUSER, vicki, there is no other word for it. I am so glad that you felt able to reach out and tell us what is happening. It is NOT your fault, this man is trying to brainwash you to stop you walking out.
Sparkling lime is right, you need to get out pretty quickly. This might sound beyond you and you may be scared but if you stay, things will get worse and please think about your daughter.
I know your partner takes the phone but please locate a phone box and ring Women's Aid. The number is 0808 2000 247 .
Have you ever reported his assaults to the police? Your family will want to know you are safe, if they really cannot take you in (and I wouldn't be surprised if they can't) then Women's Aid will be able to tell you if there is a refuge place nearby. They (and I) will also encourage you to see a solicitor (this willbe free if you are not working) and possibly take out an injunction against him, which would prevent him coming near your family's house and he would be arrested if he did.
We are here for you, vicki, please be even braver now and start making preparations to leave. Think about what you will need with you....official documents are important, such as your birth certificate and your daughter's, your child benefit letter, any passports and driving licences, bank cards, photos. Get a bag together and hide it, even better leave it at your family's house in a cupboard
If you feel unconvinced as to what your partner is guilty of, please read this.
We are here but do call women's aid today and set the ball rolling, it is the best step you will ever make. The women's aid website (sparkling lime has given you the link) has a guide to covering your tracks online, on the top right of the main home page.
Let us know how you are when you can, don't take any risks, Please try to eat something today, you need your strength. 
Hi vicki1603. I'm so sorry to hear you're in this awful situation. It is nothing but abuse, and you and your daughter do not deserve this treatment. You are worth more than this, please get in touch with Womens Aid as soon as you possibly can, and start making the arrangements that Louise has suggested. Once your family realise what is going on, they will (I'm sure) help you in anyway they can. Please get in touch with them, and tell them everything. Keep posting, as we're all here to support you.
thank you so much everyone for your support im sorry it take sages for me to get bk but i have to wait till he is asleep but i no i need to get out i am scared but i do love him. he never came home last night from his night out and was with a girl who he is plannin to meet at the end of the month i cant understand how he can be so nice to everyone else when i always do everything for him and bringin up his daughter on my own with no help. i feel like iv let her down as she is only gonna have her mum around now because i am leavin. tomorro goin to my sisters for the week then after that i dont know. i am so hurt that its over because i do love him butits coming to reality now that things will never change. im tryin to stay strong but inside im such a mess xx
Hi vicki1603
I know that you still love him and that makes it harder. But you and your daughter deserve to live in a violence free home. When thinking about your daughter, please believe me when I tell you that all the research that has been done into single parents etc shows that the thing that affects the children the most is if they live in an atmosphere of parental conflict....you now have the opportunity to take your daughter away from this most damaging of situations and I wish you all the luck in the world as you take this important step.
Please take your documents (that I mentiond above) to your sister's and don't hesitate to call the police if you get any threats or calls. We will all be thinking of you and wishing you well
Please do get that paperwork together if you can. I'm so glad you're going to see your sister.
Do take care.
Hi vicki1603
Welcome to One Space. Everyone else has suggested what you do and I want to re-iterate it.
It is time to leave your partner. You are at most risk of serious injury or worse, when planning to leave or have just left an abusive relationship. Therefore you need to get professional support. This is not going to be easy, but it is rarely something that you can face and be free of on your own.
Call Womens Aid at the next given chance, it is FREE and available 24 hours a day on 0800 2000 247. Even if you choose to do nothing at the moment, at least you get the ball rolling and by talking to someone experienced, it will give you food for thought.
Womens Aid are able to provide you with a safe place to stay for you and your daughter and they can then help you move forward with your life.
Your situation unfortunately isn't that uncommon, but it is dangerous and very frightening. Don't tell your partner you are thinking of leaving or give any hints away. Read this really clear information from a Bristol website on What you can do to keep yourself and your children safe and Planning to leave.
Does your partner know where your sister lives? If so, is she strong enough to deal with him if he turns up? If you don't want to get her involved Womens Aid can house you. If you feel you need to get out this very minute - pack your bag and get to your local police station. They will help you find emergency accommodation.
I have been in your situation and its not easy, but you know this isn't right and you don't want this for your girl. Your legs may feel like jelly and your stomach turning somersaults, but this will always be the case. There is never going to be a 'right' time or a 'right' way to do it.
We are here for you every step of the way, but you have to take that next step and contact Womens Aid.
I too believed for many years that I loved my ex - I have just recently read the best explanation for this crazy way of thinking (Why do I love someone that abused me??) The explanation was it is easier for us to believe that we love them and stay, than to get out and risk getting everything that they have threatened us with.....being killed or getting our head smashed in.
Keep in touch vicki1603, but PLEASE I urge you to get in touch with Womens Aid, right now.
Good luck vicki1603
he also says its me that pisses him off which is his excuse for cheating on me. he is out tonight but wont be bk til about 3 tomorro afternoon like normal because he finds different women i really do need someone to talk to as my dad passed away 2years ago on the 28th of this month so my family have enough on there plate and i have no friends left as he made sure of that months ago :(