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hi guys advice needed not really sure where i should have posted this :/
the problem is my husband (we are in divorce proceddings) turned up last week after 10 months he asked to see my child which i allowed him he then refused to bring the child home and the child is still there, i went ot my solicitors to gain advice and they sent him aletter stating he had to return home, sneakily the day he recieved the letter he went to court and applied for orders which the judge refused to give him, we are now going back into court monday applying for the child to be returned, hes also applied for full custody, his defence is im an alcoholic, which im not, and a lot of other statements all which are untrue, he tried to say he was conserned that i was unable to look after my child properly which again is false and i now have a letter from social services to take to court stating there has never been an issue and they have no concerns,
has anyone ever been through this im worried the judge will not grant my application for child to be returned home till the custody issue is sorted, i havent seen my child for over a week and im worried sick hes missing me he didnt even fully understand who it was collecting him but as he has pr i have no choice but to wait for courts
while said ex has been away my child has a stable family home, attends nursery and is probably missing his sisters, ive hardley slept or ate and im missing him dreadfully. hes only 2
anyone had a similar experience or who knows how this will play out at the courts?
hi yes we had a statement of needs he agreed to weekly from 6pm friday to 6pm sunday he did this for a while then we didnt hear from him until last week he hadnt seen his son since boxing day, there have been no problems at all social services have emailed my solicitor with that information and also my sure start worker to say they have no concerns also my solicitor has said that he attends nursery twice a week which he has already missed 2 sessions im worried he is wondering where i am,
as for motive my current partner whom has lived her for a year has brought my son up as his own and when the ex came to collect son on the saturday he said bye daddy to him :/ i presume this has upset him, hes always been awkward now hes being plain evil
he applied for orders judge has said it was waste of court time to put it as an emergency and that mediation should have been tried which goes in my favour i suppose, i really dont know im worried sick that he will be able to continue keeping him until the court is sorted, my solicitor said works in my favour he has been with us without contact of his dad for that amount of time and now he has no rountine, but she cant guarentee the judge will order that he is returned home with just contact with his dad
im just so stresses my other children asking when he will be home i cant sleep or eat so worried
There is nothing that I can say to make you feel better other than the reassurance I have already given you, that I think it is extremely likely that your son will be returned to you on Mondaym which is what your solicitor says as well.
You need to tell the other children that you hope their brother will be back from his "holiday" with daddy on Monday.
I presume you have your partner to talk to, and for support but please do not hesitate to ring The Samaritans on 08457 909090 at any time day or night; they have helped me out a few times when things felt difficult!
Good luck for Monday
i hope so hun, i talk to my partner but think i just feel it more which is expected i suppose, roll on monday
Dear cyberjen, what a traumatic experience for you, your son and his siblings, I do hope he has now been returned. Do let us know, thinking of you :)
hi guys just to let you all know we went to court at 10am yesterday morning and a court order was issued for his return at 4pm :) he is now home safe and well thank you all for your advice :) xxx
Woohooo!! Fantastic, thank you so much for letting us know. I bet you are all feeling pretty good right now. 
I hope that you have a lovely family evening. How is your son?
thank is great news xx hugs sending to you both
Very relieved to hear it! Hope he has settled OK?
Thank goodness.
What a thing to go through though.
hes doing ok thank you, hes still a bit shook up doesnt want to leave us when we took him to nursery, saying that i dont want to let him out of my site :( poor lad hes slept loads god knows what time he was sleeping there, if he had any im just so glad its over now, we now have a court order in place so i can start to unstress a little, hes come back very clingy and worried by noises which worries me slightly but at least he is home now and safe :) poor kid hes only 2 i just hope this hasnt done any lasting damage. my solicitor went through all the paperwork yesterday the bruise my ex said he had on the saturday when he refused to bring him home hasnt been seen by anyone and was only told to solicitors and social services the afternoon he recieved my solicitors letter :( hes an idiot lol and im just so grateful for your advice and the work of my solicitor. this site is great and so glad i found it, now hes home safe and well and causing mayhem. wouldnt have it any other way :) xxxx
Hi cyberjen, poor little thing, it is understandable that he doesn't want to leave your side, I hope that he has a good day at nursery.
When my daughter was around 2/3, my ex was visiting, she was in her pyjamas. When I went to the bathroom, he ran off with her and didn't return for 3 days, the police said there was nothing they could do as I didn't fear for her physical safety. Even though he had taken her 120 miles away and ignored his phone for 2 days. I was worried sick. when she got back she had new clothes on, when I asked her where she got the clothes from (I had imagined he had taken her to town in her pj's 
) She told me she had to stay in his flat on her own while he went to the market.....(idiot 
)
Anyway she is now 16 and there are no scars from what I can gather. 
Is the court order to disallow any access?
thats terrible 
upsets me so much that fathers can just turn up after a certain amount of time and do as they please all because of their rights :( when we started divorce proceedings last year the statement of needs stated from 6pm on a friday to 6pm on a sunday so this is now what we have gone back to, i have no objections to him seeing or having a relationship with his father it was the fact that after that long he just turned up and took him and started with all the lies, saying he had size 11 cheap shoes on and he was a 6 :( when he brought them to court they was a size 8 which he's a 7 and his favourite bob builder sandals,
we are now back to the arrangements from friday to sunday and the order states if he isn't returned ex can now be arrested and police can fetch little one so i feel a lot better, we have to go back to court in 12 weeks as he has applied for residency but we was told by solicitors and judge this will be awarded to me and weekends will become the order as it is now :) so feeling positive, hes been ok so far he did say today bless wanted see you mommy come home wasnt allowed :( hes only little tho so i suppose he will soon forget, its a sad world we live in when you have to go to court to get your own child home xxx
Hi cybergen. What a happy ending. I'm so pleased for you all. Understandable that he is clingy, but I'm sure that'll soon pass. Really really happy that it has worked out for you. You're extremely good letting your ex still have access from Friday to Sunday.
hi cybergen glad you got your son home it is sad that we have to go to court to protect our kids . cant you get supervisied visits only done . think you have to apply for that to happen . but in that way you have even more peace of mind . i know i would never trust mine to have them over night and im applying for supervisied visits only . mine as not seen the kids for over 10 weeks now and he as only texted once and he has wroet on fb that he missed the boys once in that time too great how they brush aside.mine is different though as he was on bail now not but he is supposed to be finding a third party to see the boys but i have not heard anything yet . if you dont feel safe try that to get supervisied visits only and they have them for only a couple of hours . he will feel clingy for awhile , when my ex left me both mine were too couldnt even go to the toilet without them sitting in with me . my little one was still sleeping with me up untill this weekend but if he wanted to now i would allow as they have been through alot hope you ok
cybergen is your son less clingy at nursery as the week goes on, is he settling back into life? Is he aware that he is going to dads on Friday?
shaz5, I think all we can do is keep reassuring our little ones when they are frightened or clingy. Its good news that your youngest has moved out of your bed again, hopefully that shows that he is feeling a little stronger again.
hi anna yes he as still stayed in his own bed well for the week see what the weekend brings . i got someone coming next fri for a chat to talk about counselling for both boys so im hoping that they can take us on and help them . the youngest one is too quite and the older one needs it as to what he saw his dad do to me. and because i am still having to go to the hospital he is not coping good .
Ahh, your poor babies. What a horrible thing for them to go through, but you are taking all the right steps. They will get stronger and come through this.
They sound like brave little lads and its no wonder that they are affected. Keep doing what you are doing and you will see them come out of their shells and shine.
Accept them for their behaviour right now, it is understandable, let them be who they need to be right now, lots of reassurance from you will help them through all this.
Hi cyberjen
Poor you, what a horrible situation and I am not surprised you are so distressed. How awful for you to have to wait till Monday.
Am I to understand that prior to this he had not seen his son for ten months? I presume as part of the divorce proceedings you have drawn up a statement of arrangements for your son? Even if this has not happened yet, if your son has been living with you and there have been no problems then it seems extremely unlikely that he will not be returned home on Monday, especially as you have the letter from Social Services clearing you of his accusations. Proceedings regarding contact and parenting time take a while to go through through the courts, and often the cases are adjourned while the court Family Officers investigate (they are called CAFACSS). It therefore seems likely that your son will return to what is his normal home.
What do you think are your husband's motives for all this? Is it to do with money, or is it to hurt you?
Once your son returns home you need to ask your solicitor about putting something legal in place which means that his father must return him home after contact time...if you get this, the police can go round to his house if it ever happens again. When you are thinking about future contact time for his dad, you may like to consider using a local Child Contact Centre