spanish gothic
DoppleMe

Hi Everyone, 

I know it's been a long time since i've been on here, but my life has been a rollercoaster over the last few months, especially where my son M is concerned. I have recently, and i mean very recently, had a diagnoses of ASD for M. However I am just getting over the initial shock of how quick they came about, as i have had to fight for over three years to be heard.

I need advice on where to go for info, what to do next, i've read the info given to me by the dr but still feeling a bit lost and confused.

Any advice would be great

thanks

Posted on: August 27, 2014 - 8:04pm
Skyflower
DoppleMe

How difficult that must have been for you, first to have known there was something not completely right and having to fight for it and then hearing this shocking diagnosis which is not easy to cope with. I think Louise and Anna will be able to help you with this, Louise will be on here during the weekend but I think Anna will be on here tomorrow, or Sally, who can give you possibly a link to some articles...

How old is your son and how is the school reacting to it? Are they able to help you with this? How severe is it?

Also Abbie Lou has written on the forum : On the left side of this page:  Parenting Support    first article : Raising a disabled child.

She has years of raising a special needs child with cerebral palsy and autism, if you write on her thread, I am sure she can help you,

hope this helps....

Posted on: August 27, 2014 - 8:52pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi

How old is your son?

In my case I had the most support from the special educational needs coordinator at the school.  The Educational Psychologist was great too, right through to high school.

I know I cried for days when I was told he had a problem - he has autism/Asperger's.  Luckily only mildly, but even though he is now 18 he can still provide me with lots of challenges.

I hope you have good support from your GP.  I found mine had little interest, but did say he'd support me in anyway he could with applications for disabled living allowance.  

My very best wishes

Posted on: August 27, 2014 - 11:11pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Spanish Gothic, nice to see you again. I am really pleased that M got the diagnosis that you felt in your heart needed to be recognised.

Here is a really useful article A parents guide to autism from the NHS, that will ultimately direct you to NAS - The National Autistic Society, which covers all aspects of Autism.

I am wondering how M's dad is taking the news? He thought you were overreacting to M's behaviour before now. Is he being supportive?

Posted on: August 28, 2014 - 10:03am

spanish gothic
DoppleMe

Hi Guys,

 

Thanks for all the points, i will look into them later on today,

 

Anna, I have a meeting with M's dad today, its taken a week to set up and get him to finally meet me in person, he only wanted to talk over the phone but i stuck to my guns and said what i need to tell him could not be said over the phone, it is not a topic i am prepared to have over the phone, thats the cowards way of parenting. So will let you know later how it all goes. More than likey he's gonna tell me i'm paranoid and have me commited, (yay a holiday, not) but i will give him M's consultants contact details so he can confirm it once he is over the shock

Thankfully I have a really great team of professionals to work with from the school to the Dr's and Gp, so hopefuly he's gonna get the support he needs, but i'm still lost in it all (gulp)

Posted on: August 29, 2014 - 9:05am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi spanish gothic, I am not surprised that you are feeling overwhelmed with it all there will be a lot to take in.

Remember though that M is still the gorgeous little boy that you know and love, step by step with the support of the professionals you will learn how to best support him.

Wish you the best of luck with M's dad, let us know how it goes.

Posted on: August 29, 2014 - 4:19pm

spanish gothic
DoppleMe

Hi,

Well i have told M's dad and i got the usual response, its all your fault, he cant have this, youre wrong, i want to take him for a second opinion, it cant be anything to do with me as this does not run in my family.

Well to say the least i kept my cool with all this out burst, i knew he would be upset, he needs time to get over the shock and process the whole situation he now finding himself in and decide whether he is gonna stand with me as M's dad and support his son probably.

M was happy though as he got a treat of sorts, I've been teaching him about saving his pennies, and he said he wanted a computer and we went to buy him one yesterday, which he's over the moon about. So i didnt get to reply yesterday as i was busy setting M's new toy up. Laughing

Posted on: August 30, 2014 - 9:28pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello sg I am sure you are right, M's dad will take a while to get used to the news and then once it has sunk in, hopefully he will be able to carry on as before, after all M is the same little boy, as Anna said. I know you have spent a lot of time and effort making sure that they got to the bottom of what was going on for M, and this has not been easy for you. In one sense it is good to get a diagnosis but on the other hand I know you wish it was not so.

How is the new computer going, is it a laptop?

Posted on: August 31, 2014 - 7:46am

spanish gothic
DoppleMe

Hey Louise, in a way i'm very relieved, i talked to his dad today and him and his family are shocked, they are waiting to hear back from the dr as i think they want to hear it from him.

when M asked for a computer, i looked at the options an opted for a standard computer, should M being a four year old still, he could damage it easily and i know how expensive it is to repair a laptop keybord and mouse having used them for years. Its good practice for him and a time me and hime get to bond as i teach him things on it. But M has taken to it like a pro

Posted on: September 1, 2014 - 4:50pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi spanish gothic, glad to hear that M has got his diagnosis, should make getting the support he needs at school etc an easier process.  It's not surprising your all shocked about the outcome. 

Glad M has taken to his treat Smile is he back to school this week?

Posted on: September 1, 2014 - 6:35pm

spanish gothic
DoppleMe

He starts primary tomorrow for the first time, he is so looking forward to it. Found out from his dad that his granddad is absolutely devasted about it and has now said he does not want much to do with M, which i find to be sad, as M is still the same happy little boy he always has been and that we have known. I just hope in time he will come round and not before its too late and damage is done.

Posted on: September 1, 2014 - 8:11pm

Skyflower
DoppleMe

That is a very harsh reaction, maybe said out of shock ? I hope that in time granddad will see that he will always be the same little boy that has lots to give

So sorry you have all to go through this

Posted on: September 1, 2014 - 8:36pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

That does seem rather a harsh reaction, as you have said he has not changed because you now have a diagnosis, hopefully he will come round when he has thought about it some more. Maybe them having some information on how to help and support him with this might help, sometimes people react like that because they don't know how to help so shut their self of instead. 

How exciting for M his first day at primary, hope he has a great day! what does the day hold for you?

Posted on: September 2, 2014 - 7:04am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I think a diagnosis can frighten people - although I never understand why as the child is no different from what they were the day before.

My lot's Father never dealt well with my son's autism/Asperger's, yet I have been lucky as he was never particularly disruptive, just hard going emotionally!

I hope he has a great day at school and has good support there.

Posted on: September 2, 2014 - 1:38pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi spanish gothic, how was M's first day at school? Did you meet his teacher? Will he have a learning support worker?

Posted on: September 2, 2014 - 3:21pm