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Please can anyone help?
I met someone by chance earlier in the year, we were together 5 months everything was fine, then we got into conflict over a couple of things. I ended up ending it, and since then he continues to chase me to some degree.
I have to admit, good or bad thing, when I do see him I am in love and he is on my mind constantly. And I am in love with him as I think he is to some degree with me.
He comes round occassionally and then we end up you know what'ing, lol, well it is NOT something I do as a person I don't agree with casual sex. But I do feel he has feelings for me he just finds them very difficult to express.
We had a great couple of months together but drifted apart, I don't think either of us were ready to jump in feet first as we had done at first. These things happen but something keeps kind of pulling us back to each other. And I know I have hurt him over the splitting up incident so he is quite resiliant towards me and has a wall built up.
And before the conclusion that it is just sex, on my side it isn't he will help me with things around the house & texts me to say he is missing me, loves me.
Today I have come to the conclusion that if this was the case he'd be knocking on my door with a big bunch of flowers trying to get back together. Yet he isn't. Yet he is very jealous if I say anything about male friends.
To cut a long story short, I've asked him to talk to me, not by text but face to face, I get no answer, I ask him what he wants, still no answer. So I have got firm and said well you don't need to tell me the answer cos the truth is staring me in the face. And it hurts.
Any advice please? Sorry for rambling!
You are right hun, it's not always we u know what, lol, but I tried to delete him from my life and he keeps coming back. Then the feelings get stronger. I'm chasing my own tail. Thanks for your advice.
I feel mean saying what I say.
At the end of the day, I'm not a person I think I'd listen to!
He keeps coming back...
It might be an idea to back off a bit and see what he does, mummy2010. That would be the surest indications of his feelings for you. What do you think?
Hi mummy2010,
I know my reply is a bit late as you posted this a couple of weeks ago! But i thought I would give my honest opinion anyway incase you were still confused about it all :)
I happen to be in pretty much the same situation! My ex goes round in circles with me all the time... he won't talk to me for months on end, and then when we do see each other he says he's madly in love with me still, makes me believe it too... we have a good few months/weeks... then he just cant be bothered again and won't talk to me about anything...and the circle starts again. I have personally have decided that i've had enough, and we've been seperated for over a year now, but he is still saying the same old things, yet still isent fighting for me and i think that says it all, because it's been going on too long now.
My thoughts are, tell him exactly how you feel, then give the situation some space. You clearly know how you feel about him, and would be willing to give it a go. Maybe he doesn't deserve the space if he is messing with your mind, but, the time away from you will either make him realise "hey, i've messed up here, I really miss her and love her and want to be with her" and he will take that big step, maybe showing up with the big bunch of flowers, or he won't, which might hurt initially, but it is not fair on you to keep having to go through it again and again. He clearly feels something for you, but you need to find out his intentions! No one deserves to be misled, so be firm with him!
Good luck! : )
Hi Pheobe and Mummy2010
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, your right you do not deserve to be mislead by anyone, let alone someone who you have let into your heart (oh dear a bit cheesy).
Remember that you are the priority, a relationship should be balanced and you should be taking away as many positive things from it as your partner is. If your sad more than your happy then its worth asking yourself if the relationship is what you really want.
Some relationships can be manipulative without us even realising, difficult relationships can take many forms and abuse doesn't have to be physical, you might like to have a look at The Freedom Programme.
Mummy2010, the jealousy must be really difficult, have you spoken to him yet? You might want to take a look at the freedom programme link.
HelenT
I must hang around here too much, I'm starting to think all men are b*****s too : )
(joke)
My mum always used to mumble that, audibly under her breath when ever her and my dad had some sort of disagreement, which was often : )
you are open & honest 
he is messing with your emotions in a manipulating way 
don't stand for it. He's not good enough for you.
sorry to be blunt, it's easier said than done i know.
hug x
It's OK to be on your own, in fact if you can be happy on your own (not saying you aren't) then you are more prone to raising your acceptance threshold when it comes to choosing a partner.
Just saying : )
Someone on here recommended a book, are they the right one for me or something along those lines, can't remember, I bought it but I've not got round to reading it, guess I'm happy being single right now, but maybe you should read it too : )
later.
ha ha! guess what bubblegum we all brought it, well sadsy & me did, & we haven't read it either 
although in our case i think were to scared to. how many others brought it & didn't read it?
I didn't. Have to say I'm more than happy on my own for now. I don't go anywhere to meet anyone, no single Dads at the school, not bumped into anyone in Iceland, (I check to see if they are buying for one) (joke)
Yeah yeah joke right, we all know you cruse Icelands alisoncam, no need to deny it here we're all friends, no one will judge you.
: )
You've caught me out Bubblegum 
Come to think of it, I do 'pop' into Iceland a fair bit through the week.
Oh....I can't resist saying this, sorrry:
"Is that an ice-pop then?" 
I also bought that book are you the one for me and read it to.
Was an real eye opener for me, pointed out what i thought about myself already.
Still cruising Iceland Bubblegum
How you doing Bubblegum? Did i read you were locking your daughter up? Tut! Hehe. How's she doing with the guitar? Are your two looking forward to Halloween? I don't think I'll be going anywhere this year with C. He's not impressed mind you! I am taking him out for firework night though. This year we're going to a beaver thing, so it should be a good night.
Ooh yes it is nearly Hallowe'en. I love it when all the children come round for sweets, I have bought mine already. BUT....I would love to wear a mask when I answered the door (although not to little ones as they would be scared!)
I think my son has got too blase to go out trick or treating these days.
There's a window half way up our stairs, and my lot drop a plastic spider out on anyone who comes knocking.
We have one of these sensor lights, and the bulb has gone - and they've pleaded with me not to change it until November!
We always go to my sisters for Halloween, shes into all that pagan stuff, calls her self a white witch and has various bizarre things around the house to ward off this and that. She usually does a meal, blue mash and sausages or something strange and dresses up with my kids and they wait for people to come knocking on the door and my kids reluctantly hand out sweets, reluctantly because they get what's left : )
Halloween is quite an important date to pagans.
It's her birthday today and we are going for breakfast and then walking up the mountains to an old neolithic stone circle that she goes and visits a few times a year, solstices and stuff, first day of spring times like that and draws stuff in the dirt in the middle.
:)
..and you enjoy the breakfast and the walk in the lovely surroundings. Have fun!
(am very diverted by the idea of blue mash!)
Have a lovely day with your sister. I'm sure she'll have a brilliant birthday.
Happy birthday to your sister. Enjoy your time with her. Blue mash? Am intrigued now. C isn't keen on mash, so maybe changing the colour could help, hehe
Not blue though.. as tests have shown that people naturally tend not to eat blue food, or are more prone to not liking it anyway, I read once.. My sister just uses food colourings.
There is (or was) a museum in Bradford called The Colour Museum and my boys used to love going there when small. One of the things that they said was that blue food was unappealing and they showed a model of blue sausages and beans 
Conversely my boys' favourite story book was about a king who wanted to marry his daughter off only to a man who could produce a blue banana. I can think of many qualities you may want your daughter's future suitors to have, Bubblegum, but I bet that isn't one of them!
To mummy2010: you wrote "I ended up ending it" but you didn't tell us why. And more surprisingly nobody here even asked. So why did you end it? Maybe the problem is him? Maybe the problem is you? I just can't tell if I don't know the reason why. From what you told us, it seems to me he's just using you for sex. It's a choice you make. I'm not saying that's good or bad: if you're OK with it and he's OK with it I guess it's OK. But when I read between the lines you're not OK with it. Then stop it. Try telling him this: tell him you met a guy and he wants to go out with you but you said no. Tell him you don't want to lose him but you want to know what's the situation with him and you? Ask him: are we together or is it just something casual. Just ask him. Put the ball in his court. He's gonna say it's all about you. No doubt in my mind. Good. Then he has to make a commitment. You go for it and you go all the way or you don't. It's very, very simple. Decide. Yes or no. What's it gonna be? I'm telling you now: [erased]. No, I'll tell you later. Do what I just told you and you'll be out of this miserable situation in no time. The ball is in your court now...
Just my 2 cents...
W.
It's very easy to look at other peoples problems and see the way out, but they have to find their own way. Personally I thing it's all Eastenders fault as they have all the classic social issues and relationship problems just polarised and black and white with easily defined solutions, quite often involving moving to Spain : )
I wish I could move to Spain, I'd be so happy : )
I'm probably not the best person to ask, as I think I'm anti-relationships!!
I think if you do end up you know what'ing, then he is going to call... The fact that he isn't calling for a chat, would, to me, feel that he wasn't wanting a serious relationship.
If it were me, because of that, I wouldn't contact him. If he was interested (and I don't in any way mean to sound unkind) he would be falling over himself to meet up.
Just my view point...