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hi,
I am a single mother of two perfect children. My ex husband has the children for 24 hours a week, either friday at 6 till saturday at 6, or saturday at 6 till sunday at 6.
I drop the children off on a friday to save my ex having to leave work earlier.
Due to religious issues, we are not able to drive on a saturday, so up until now my ex has walked the 7 minute distance to pick them up or drop them off on the saturday.
Now he tells me that this shouldnt be only his responsibility, and that its lazy of me to expect him to do all the walking.
some of you may understand why I find this incredibly hurtful and unfair.
any advice?
thanx!
Hi a.gar - I am not surprised you are finding this hurtful and unfair. It sounds as though you are doing the majority of the work anyway!
You are being kind enough to drop the children off on a Friday already as well as doing all the cooking, cleaning, mothering, washing, tidying, nursing, counselling, taxiing etc etc etc What more does he want! 
How old are your children? Would they be able to walk that 7 minute stretch if he was unprepared to collect them?
Personally I would ignore his request on the grounds that it is petty and bizarre, are you sure you heard him right? What would happen if you did refuse to do this?
You need to ensure that your boundaries are in place as you are already doing everything else. How long have you been split up?
hi anna,
Thank u! i've been alone for a year and a half, and this is the first time i've joined a forum like this, really nice to be understood! if i dont walk them to him he'll just end up not having them unfortunately. we got divorced because he had a gambling addiction and so its pretty much been a long journey of being manipulated into thinking everythings my fault. so he wnnt see the kids, but i'll be to blame!
Hi a.gar, ok, so the ball is in your court, do you want to take your children to be with someone who wouldn't make the effort otherwise, or do you want them to be with someone who will go through hell and high water to get to them?
We often go overboard trying to get our ex's to see their children, however it is not really our responsibility, it is theirs. They are grown adults and if they want contact, we can encourage and support the children, however the other responsibility lies with the other person.
I am glad that you recognise that you have been manipulated in the past to believe that everything is your fault and I hope that you are learning that this is not the case - it takes 2 to tango.
This can be hard for us to recognise where the fault lies at our feet, if they are the ones who have created all the problems - the answer to this, is that we stayed ... we believed in them when the chips were down (scuse the pun!) and we kept colluding with them making it easier for them to pursue their bad habits, rather than creating boundaries around how we are prepared to be treated and putting our foot down earlier.
He can blame you all he wants, but it is what you believe, that is the key here.
Does your ex pay child maintenance for your children?
It does seem a bit petty especially as you are dropping them off so he doesn't have to finish work early
What would he say if you asked him to come and pick them up on alternate Fridays - would he leave work early?
If he wants it exactly fair then you will have to split it so one walks one week and the other walks the second week but I wouldn't be dropping them off on a Friday for his convenience - but maybe that is petty of me!
Hope you can reach a solution