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I am looking for some advice as to whether my 9 yr old son and myself can move away without my ex's permission?
We have been separated for a year, so I have given this a lot of thought and not rushed into anything. I live in Scotland with my son, but I am English, my son was born here. I have family in Derbyshire that I would love to be closer to. There is no one here at all for me.
My son has a long term illness and requires regular hospital visits, so it would be good to have family around to help with this.
Can I move away with my son? I would never stop his dad seeing him, and will provide reasonable access, weekends, holidays etc. I would also be willing to drive half way to hand my son to his dad. I have looked into schools and the area, it does look as though it will be a good move for both of us.
Do I need to go to court or to see a solicitor about this? We have managed to keep them out of this so far.
For the past year, things have been fairly amicable, my ex sees our son every other week overnight, and he has taken him on holiday. But I am worried as to how he will take to me taking his son away and stop me doing so.
Any help and advice will be greatly appreciated, also if anyone has been through similar can you tell me how it went? Many thanks x
I think only you know how your son's father will react, especially as he does have such regular contact with your son.
I can understand you wanting the support of your family too. Not an easy decision, I'm sure.
I moved without telling my x and ended up in court, despite the fact that I had actually moved closer to where she was living at the time.
Now I must inform the courts 28 days in advance should I wish to move or change the childrens school.
Why she dragged me through all that I don't know seeing as she a few months latter stopped seeing them and hasn't since..
My advice would be to do everything by the book so to speak, above board, or as politician are keen to say (but not do) transparently, irrespective of weather your x is interested or not, at least then he cant use anything against you at a later date.
: )
Hi Digby
I agree, I think you have to do what is best for you, especially with the hospital visits, I imagine having family around will be a huge support for you.
26 visits over a year and a holiday doesn't really support a full time carer.
Do see a solicitor and when you approach your ex with your decision, believe in your decision and feel confident that you are doing the right thing.
Have you had any further thoughts on the matter?
My fiance and I look after our 9 year old son 50% of the week or more. His mother has decided to move house and out of town without telling us. Its only to the next town along but this is the 6th time in 4 years she has moved. Is she allowed to do this without his father's consent?
Thanks in advance
Hi beannie79, regardless of whether your fiance has parental responsibility, the boys mother has the right to move wherever she wants within the UK, she doesn't need permission from your fiance, but it is expected that she inform him. How did you hear she was moving?
I am thinking of moving away with a new partner, not imminently, but within the next 6 months, but I have 8/14 nights with my children, so effectivbely sharing childcare with my ex almost 50/50. Please can someone advise how I would go about doing this, what arrangements I might be able to suggest and how to approach this with me ex. I really don't know where to start!
Hi, precious, I would think very very hard about this. How do your children feel about the new partner? How do they feel about your ex? How far away do you think you would move?
What if your ex is having the same sort of thoughts and wanted to move away with the children, after all like you said, it's almost fifty/fifty childcare?
Sorry to make this harder, it's just what came to mind. My ex moved away (he never even wanted the children, nor did he have proper regular contact) without even telling any of us. The children blamed themselves for that. For me it was great, obviously, because he truly was out of my life, but for the children it was horrible and I would have happily put up with him for their sake.
Hi
How old are your children? How far away will you be moving?
My children have a great relationship with their dad, he has a new partner whom they like too. They like my new partner. The eldest is far closer to his dad than to me, and the middle one is definitely more attached to me. They youngest is happy wherever he is, although transition day is always a bit tricky. I would probably be moving a couple of hrs away. My concern is that without making a move, I am stuck here where neither one of us can really move on as we live so close to each other. I don't know what arrangements I could feasibly propose, nor how it would logistically work. We both want the best for the children, but what IS the best? AS the children get older any arrangement we currently have would need to be flexible, but how could it work now? Sorry, lots of questions, I just don't know where to start! I have had no experience of this kind of thing before.
How old are your children? How far away will you be moving?
8, 5 and 3
I guess it would depend on how supportive their Dad would be about the move. As two are in school, it could be argued that they would benefit more from staying in the area as they have roots there.
I know I planned on moving when I split up, but it was my eldest, then 12, who wanted to stay, as they all have reallly good friends.
Would you be moving closer to your family?
No, further away. My gut instinct is that if I proposed a move, my eldest would chose to stay with his dad, the middle one with me. This is not what I'd want as I think it's important to keep the children together. I'm so confused as to what to do! The smallest one will fit in well, wherever he is! What are the logistics for weekends and school holidays if I moved with the children? How many weekends/school holidays would I offer? What do I do if he doesn't like it?
Hi precious752, welcome from me 
You say that currently the situation is working well? Your children are seeing both their parents 50/50. You both have new partners that the children like.
I am wondering why you want to move? You say that you can't move on, however it does sound as though you already have.
Is this your idea to move or your current partners?
Hello Digby
By law, you can just inform the other parent you are moving. Your boy's dad would have to take a court action against you to stop you moving. You only need his permission if you are moving abroad. If he DID take a court action then it is for you to make a case about what you will do to facilitate their relationship, and to provide valid reasons for the move, ie the things you have already thought about. Please also bear in mind that the other parent will be entitled to ask the CSA for a reduction in any amount of child maintenance on the basis of cost of travel. I also imagine that it will not be very beneficial to the co-operative parenting you seem to have at the moment!
Has anyone got personal experience of this?