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just wondering if anyone has had to go to court in regards to access of a newborn/young baby im due to have my baby in 9 weeks i split up with the babies father in january he hasnt been around and hasnt supported me emotionally or financially, i dont have a problem with him seeing the child but i want the access to be supervised to begin with (partly because he is a cannabis smoker and has shown unstable behaviour when we were together he told me he was going to kill his self if i ever split with him), i know he will take me to court as he doesnt want supervised access, i have sought legal advise who tried to put my mind at rest and said the courts would only grant him supervised access anyway, but just wondering if anyone could share there expriences with me as im dreding the thought of going to court, i have another child who is 4 by a different father who regualrly sees her dad and never had to go through this before xx
i wasnt going to have him on the birth certificate as i dont feel he deserves to be on it hes caused nothing but hassle throughout my pregnancy, i dred having to see him ive even changed hospitals so i dont risk him turning up, i think id prefer contact in a contact centre then at least its neutral ground ill look into this thanks x
My biggest mistake was putting my daughters father on the birth ceft as he's been nothing but a let down and scum since I was pregnant :( I'm sorry you haven't been treated better and I hope it hasn't caused to much stress on your pregnancy but I always look at it like "he may be a arse and up set you but u will always walk away with the best gift of all - a child, it's only him missing out" you can get refured to a contact centre by your midwife or health worker.
Hi vphillips. Welcome along. As you haven't had the baby yet, and you're not together with the father of the baby, he doesn't really have to pay toward anything. Once the baby is born, you can go through the CSA. The birth certificate thing. Had my son's father been interested I would have put his name down, simply for the fact, it would have been fairer on my son. I think every child should have the father's name on it, as it isn't the child's fault. However my son's father would have had to been there to sign it, as we weren't married. Even if he isn't named on your babie's certificate, he can still go to court to gain parental responsibility. I think you're right to go for supervised visits, as he is a drug user. Hopefully once the baby is born, he might change his ways.
Do you know the sex of the baby?
i understand he doesnt have to pay anything for the child at the moment but hes not even offered to help pay towards anything when he knows money is a struggle ive had to buy most things second hand because theres no way i could afford a brand new pram amongst other things luckily i had some things kept back from when i had my daughter. the baby is a boy and to be honest i dont think he will turn up to register the child with me even if i gave him the chance, hopefully once the baby is born we can be civil but i know its going to be really hard to do that, as him and his family have made it perfectly clear what they think of me x
Have you looked on Freecycle site? These are of course second hand, but all items are free, and you do find some good bargains on there. If he doesn't turn up to register the birth, then that of course is his choice, and that would also tell you something about him. Do you have anyone to be with you for the birth? Has the father made any contact with you at all with regards to access, or are you just preparing yourself just in case? Does he know the dates? As you're quite near your time, have you thought about whether you'll let him know once you've given birth?
Hi
Is he interested in the baby or would he rather not be part of his life?
Hi V phillips X
I am going through court at the moment but my child is older 8 years. I too wished her dad was never on the birth certificate but if your ex is already mentioning court for access it is likely he will take you to court for Parental Responsibily so it may just be easier to put his name on birth certificate.
As for court it is a very long process and generally they will try to avoid court where possible so if you are offering supervised access then his solicitor will probably advise him just to accept that as it is what the court will suggest in the first instance any way if your ex has had no contact with child by time it goes to court. I would suspect that given that your child will still be a baby if it goes to court they will say contact centre is best for the child just so they can monitor how your ex copes with a small baby. Contact Centres near me do allow small babies but the majority of mums (or a family member) would stay too just because babies can get distressed when they dont recognise faces.
I wish you luck with the remainder of your pregnancy and I hope your ex comes to his senses and stops making what is already a stressful time for you much worse. Big Hugs x
Hello vphillips
I agree with little angel, if you do not put him on the birth certificate then he can just apply for Parental Responsibility anyway, and of course if you are expecting any financial support then he could dispute this. However, you need him to be present to put his name on in ther first place!
Is there are family member who could facilitate contact? Are you going to breast feed the baby, as this will affect the amount of time the baby can be away from you.
Don't put him on birth ceft then that way he has no legal responsability to that child but you can still allow visits! a new born shouldn't really be away from you at first so maybe visits can be arranged at your home or with a family member? You can get visits done via a contact centre but I don't know if they will allow a na y that young without you being there aswell, I know the one near me doesn't allow it