Hi All,
I'm new to this forum, i'm just wondering if anybody can suggest any help. My ex wife and i split up over 2 years ago, bitterly i might add. Since then i have had to give in to all her wants to see my son. I live in jersey, andshe has taken my son to live in Qatar. I only agreed to this so she could clear her debts and make a better life for her new family as long as i got regular contact with my son. I haven't spoken to my son now in almost 2 months as she has changed her skype address and blocked me. i was paying maintenance happily up until a month ago, when she stopped me seeing him. can anybody suggest the best way to go now?
Thanks.
Hello atclinds
How dreadful for you not to be seeing your son.
Were any documents signed at the time you agreed to him going to Qatar? I know that you will have had to sign a permission form but did she sign anything about the contact or was anything done through solicitors? if not then this becomes even more difficult for you.
You say you have stopped paying maintenance. Financial support and parenting time are two completely different things but of course I understand that in the circumstances you may wish to use this as a lever in order to force contact. Is a letter possible? not full of threats but just saying "the agreement was that I would have regular contact with our son and this has not happened. I cannot continue providing financial support whilst the situation continues. Please contact me to sort this out"...and try to get something signed this time. In the meantime, send picture postcards etc to your son....and if contact does not happen for a long time, one thing sometimes suggest is starting a sort of scrapbook of letters, photos and thoughts for him. If there is a gap in your contact this will be a valuable thing for you son and will show him that you never stopped thinking about him or wanting to be his dad.
Sparkling lime has made a good suggestion about using an intermediary.
You could also contact a dads' organsation, such ass Families Need Fathers
Thanks Louise and sparkling lime.
I signed papers through the courts to say that she could go as long as i had regular contact. I don't have her address in Qatar, but have been in contact with her parents to make sure he is ok.
I'll definately start a diary for my little boy, so that when we do start seeing each other again, he'll know i thought about him everyday. I have put the money that was meant to go to my ex wife in a savings account for my son, and it'll stay that way until i see him or sort it throught the courts.
Thanks again for the suggestions, i'll keep you informed as to how i get on.
It's good that you are in contact with her parents though... The diary is such a good idea.
Hi atclinds. Welcome along. Such a sad situation for you, I'm really sorry that you've not had contact with your son, through no fault of your own. That's good news that you did sign something, and it was done through the courts. Good luck with everything, and I hope you get to see your little boy soon.
i think its called hauge convention - find out if qatar comes into it as this may be route to take - - im not clued up on international laws
Hi
That's so sad for you, and so difficult...
I think due to the part of the world she lives in, things are going to be very difficult to establish contact.
Do you have mutual friends who are able to re-establish some kind of connection?