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Hello. I’ve never written on a forum before, so apologies if I don’t do this correctly. I didn’t know where to go, so I’m starting here. My ex has begun the mediation/court process for access to our son and I really need to speak to someone who can advise me. I am completely alone with no close friends or family and I’m finding this situation overwhelming. That's just the tip of the iceburg.... Is there such a thing as advocacy or specialist support for single mothers? I don't know! I don't have anyone to turn to! Please help!
If your ex is thinking about trying mediation as a first step you might have heard from a mediation service by telephone or letter inviting you to a first appointment.
Generally an initial meeting with a mediator can be helpful and should not be too daunting. Usually you meet the mediator on your own, without your ex being present. The mediator wil give you an opportunity to talk about the situation from your point of view, how you feel about things and what you want to sort out. They will tell you a bit about the mediation process and how it might help you. They will also assess to see if you are eligible for free mediation and if not how much it might cost. You can decide if you want to try meditation or not after that.
Keep in touch about how you are getting on.
Thank you for your responses. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm heard. I haven't recieved the letter or phone call yet, but I expect to soon. I'm trying to see this as an oppoutunity to make some positive progress, though I know my ex is hoping to use mediation to bully me to do what he wants, so I'm hoping that this will finally give me a chance to be heard. But I know the direction these situations can go towards as my oldest son has been abducted by his father and I haven't been able to get any help with finding him. I guess that's why I was looking for some support. I'm dreading having to go through this process again and I'm on my own. Just so tired. Thanks again for your time..
What a terrible time you must have had and are still having with your eldest son. If you do not find the mediators empathtic and supportive try somewhere else. There are a lot of mediators around and you need to find someone you can relate to. They cant advise you but they can and should be supportive.
Hi rocky road.
I went through mediation with my ex (my choice as we were unable to talk about anything without arguing). I found the whole process really helpful. The mediator met with both of us on our own first to get an idea of what we both wanted. Our next appointment was together but we could be in separate rooms if we'd wanted and she would've moved between us. The mediator doesn't force either party to agree to anything they don't want to and sometimes they accept that no agreement could be made. They right a report which you then use for the legal steps whether that's moving forward or letting a judge decide.
I hope that helps x
That's helpful, PQ, to have a first-hand account of the experience. The other thing I would add, Rocky Road, is that with a mediator present, people tend to have to behave themselves a bit better so if there would have been a massive and destructive argument if you had discussed it in private, this is less likely to happen.
rocky road welcome to here i was like you thought i had no one very little family and yes i had friends but still felt alone but this site i was able to off load and still do and ask questions and i always got a reply so welcome aboard and this site is very good for advice and people on here that can help you cause we are either going through the same or been there and know what it is going to be like .
louise said to me very early on when i first came here i will see the light at the ends of the tunnel and to be honest i never thought i would but i did and have and feel better than i did so when ever you feel at a cross roads post and someone will reply
know i didnt have to go through a mediator i hope things go ok for you
Thank you everyone. My appointment is next week. I'm hoping this will help us to come to an arrangment that's best.
It's not easy being on my own. I'm not from the U.K, I don't have any family and somehow I've found myself without any friends. I've moved to a new area not long ago so I guess it's to be expected. Just makes it that much more isolating. I'm grateful for the kind words and support.
Aww Rocky Road, we are here for you every step of the way. How old is your son? Do you go to a playgroup? It is hard when we don't know anyone in our area, but things WILL get easier, one step at a time.
shaz 5, thank you for your lovely post, it is great to read that can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am guessing some days you are basking in its rays! That is such a good feeling and I am glad that we could be there for you.
when ever i have posted on here i have always had a reply and words that have helped me im glad that i found this site
morning rocky road how are you ?
Hi shaz5, I feel like you. This site has helped me enormously. I have struggled with feeling that my troubles were endless but help, support and encourage from one space has helped me througH.
Rocky road I hope your appointment goes well with the mediator.
Yes I hope you find mediation helpful. If you need any more information about the process I can try and help.
Glad you have all felt so helped and supported, that's what we're here for 
Hi Rocky Road and welcome along to One Space, pleased to meet you
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Sorry to hear that we are meeting at such a difficult point, but we can support you through the whole process.
Firstly have you received a letter from the Mediators?