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hi, im divorcing soon. i bought i house few years ago and gullible as i am i put the house in joint names with husband as thats what u do as a married couple! so i thought!
anyway, i put the deposit down and have paid all the mortgage payments - he sometimes paid the bills and groceries , i paid too. we both worked, i was the main earner, but i was also the main childcarer for the children, when they wernt at nursery.
now he wants have of the equity in the house!! hes claiming that he paid half of the deposit and all of the payments, said he gave me cash towards the house which isnt true.
does anybody have similiar experience to this? my solicitor says the judge will say its joint property 50:50.
I cant beleive i might haver to pay half of my hard earned money to him- putting myself and the kids in further debt, as il have to remortgage to borrow his 'share'- arggh!!
Hello chocolate81
Hello and welcome to One Space. Unless you can prove that the deposit was from your savings, as sparkling lime says, or if you got him to sign a legal document then it is natural for a court to assume the 50:50 thing. Also, even if you made the mortgage payments, this was part of the family budget including food, bills etc. As a married couple, it is presumed that you work as a team to sustain the family and the home.
However 50:50 is only the starting point and the main thing a judge would take into consideration is the children. The person who has main day to day care of the children may well be "allocated" a greater percentage of the house ownership but this also depends on the age of the children, the earning potential of both parents and what the cirumstances are eg if that person could take over the mortgage in their own name.
Your solicitor is the best one to advise you about what may happen in your particular case. I see from the other thread that there are issues of identity fraud and this may affect the outcome
i can prove that i paid all the mortgage payments from my account from my earnings. the deposit was bonds which i transferred into my account at the time of the sale. most of these bonds were bought before the marriage , not sure if ive still got paperwork for this, will have to hunt around.
just seems so unfair that he could end up with a big share, even a small one, since he didnt contribute much and he was abusive. sustaining the home myself shuldnt be a prob as i did this during the marriage anyway,
thankyou for ur advice
what do u mean by earning potential ?
I mean the judge looks at the two of you and makes a judgement about how much income each of you is likely to have in the future. So if one of you was an airline pilot and the other one had no work experience and few qualifications then the one who was the pilot would have a much bigger earning potential and therefore that is one of the factors in the mix....that that person will sooner be able to make some money. That particular factor weighs in favour of the one who is likely to earn less in the future but it is a very small factor compared to the welfare of the children, which is the court's main concern.
Hi chocolate81
I was in a simular situation. I was the main wage earner I lived in my house many years before i bought off the council. He didnt really work and was meant to care for the kids but he decided to work his dad ran the kids to school.
I paid all bills food ect all his money went on him and I had a mortgage of about 48k including an extra 12k for home improvments.
I had to pay him 30k because i had a rubbish solicitor and he charged me 5k for his services.
My ex lied and his new wife was kicking off i the court that it was not enough to clear their debt (i didnt hear this as she was not allowed in the court room.)
There are no winners in a divorce where money it I may not have won the battle but i have very much won the war. He got 30k but lost everything else including his children.
I still live in 'my' house with 'my' children and we have never been happier - ok i have to work harder but as long as my children are happy thats all that matters to me x I now sit every night in my consevatory we had build just before i kicked him out for adultry reminding myself what a lucky escape i had (he became violent too)
HM x
It's great that your able to find the postives in the situation happy mamma, though i imagine this took sometime to come to that way of thinking.
hi happy mamma
thank you for sharing. its just so unfair that not only do we get cheated on, abused, but then to top it off we have to give the lazy so-and- so money, our hard earned money , which wev earned by leaving children in childcare or with other people. i didnt want to return to work early after baby but had to , to pay the mortgage. and now hes claming its 'his' house' 'his' money :(
i hope i get an understanding judge on the day this comes to court, and hopefully my solicitor will try harder than urs did. sorry to hear about what u went through, im glad ur in a good place now, well done :)
Get everything you can ready in plenty of time. My ex took out a 20k spent it on her house and made out he was skint.
Its all about your means and if you can support yourself and the children and keep the house no judge will let him take it - your bank account will show your money going in and your money going out.
I was not fully prepared for my court date so anything your unsure of please let me know. Ive learned a lot since - and there are get experts on here too.
Sally being positive is the only way or I would have fell into a very deep dark hole of depression. I do have moments of giving up but I cant and wont let that awful man win and i wont let my children ever see the struggle its been.
Hence my name Happy Mamma x
It is difficult isn't it happy mamma, however we have to choice to view things as we wish and I loved your comment 
I still live in 'my' house with 'my' children and we have never been happier - ok i have to work harder but as long as my children are happy thats all that matters to me x I now sit every night in my consevatory we had build just before i kicked him out for adultry reminding myself what a lucky escape i had
Good for you!
thank you happy mama, i will keep you updated on what happens and ask u for tips!!
at the moment im waiting for a response to divorce petition and then get start sorting the finances out (ie getting his name off the mortgage and the deeds to the house hopefully)
xx
I got my divorce petition back and although my ex was violent my solicitor adviced not to use it as grounds for divorce as he was likely not to sign it but he did sign admitting adulty (with my best friend)
The only was I got him off the mortgage was to go through court and pay him off - check to see if your ex is getting legal aide as they have to tell you if he is - my ex lied
HM
why does it matter if he is getting legal aid? i think he is as i know he applied ands claiming to work part time. hes reduced his hours so he can claim aid, benefits and refusing to pay child maintenence
im getting some legal aid, i have to pay a substantial mothly contribution for it. costing quite a bit, not sure how long i can keep it up
Hi
If hes on LA he can drag it out and send as many leters as he likes, my ex sent them about the children made lots of stuff up and generally nit picked knowing I didnt have LA so everytime i replied it cost me.
But I had the last laugh as when he got his 30K pay out he had to pay it all back (wouldnt mention that to the ex even though he should have been informed)
HM
Hi there
chocolate81, your ex can't refuse to pay child maintenance. Even if he is on benefits a small amount would be taken from his benefits to pay towards your childs upkeep.
Send a confidential email to our CSA Expert (click) who can give you some advice on this issue.
hi all, was hoping to find happy mama here for more advice regarding the above
im due in court over the next few months about the house and now im not eligible for legal aid anymore i feel at a disadvantage, he has a solicitor still.
il be self representing and have sooo many forms and legal bits to fill in and prepare- feel like im going to make a muddle and then lose financially when it comes to the house over some legal technicality!
cant beleive how much solicitors cost per hour! cant afford it so going it alone :-_
Yes, a lot of people are going to find themselves in that position, chocolate81, as the Legal Aid system has changed.
You can still get legal advice from our own Expert (click) and as for the forms, there are Law centres around the country, look here for your nearest one. You can also consider having a Mckenzie Friend (click) with you in court, although you do have to pay expenses for them it is nothing like a solicitor's fees.
Hi
It can depend on the length of the marriage, not 'just' the amount of money that's been put in to the property.
Are you able to show that the deposit came from your bank account or savings? Are you able to show the same for the mortgage payments?