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This is a bit of a sensitive subject so I'm going to try and be as nice as possible. I've noticed the past few times my daughters father has visited that he has very strong B.O. The first time I didn't say anything as I was hoping it was a one off, but after another visit this weekend he still had it- stronger! it was so bad that I had to open windows & doors after he left. The smell clung to our daughters clothes so I had to bath & change her. I kindly told him about his problem as if it was me I would rather be told, rather me than a stranger ay. I was very kind and understanding about it but am concerned that this smell on him has been on going. His visit before this one was over a month ago so has he smelt like this the whole time? I spoke to a friend about it (friend knows us both) and she said that this isn't a first for him and he has had the problem on & off since a child . When we dated he use to wear same clothes for 2-3 days at a time, but wasnt smelly. I use to call him a tramp jokingly. I really feel sorry for him as he obv doesn't realise but I don't feel comfitable about having someone with no personal hygiene around buba :( I tried offering him advice but he brushed it off, prob out of embarrassment which I understand.
All I can do is tell him, it's a weird situation as we ain't the best of mates but as I said I can't have a un-hygienic person touching our baby. I pray he listens and does something about it but I won't know the outcome till his next visit. Do you have any suggestions about what to do if the problem still isn't resolved nxt time? I don't think I can let him thou the door and sit there for the day holding my nose :/ Im surprised his mates haven't told him (unless they have). I'm not 100% of its his clothes or him
It's probably a bit of both. Of course you can open the windows but you don't want your daughter to be cold, she will have to be dressed very warmly! And you can try air fresheners but really it feels like you would like to find a way to actually solve the problem rather than masking it. If your daughter was a bit older she would probably make a remark herself but this isn't going to happen at the moment.
I don't think there is a kind way round this, all you can say is something like have you had chance to think about what I said last time about being clean and fresh with clean clothes on when you come over? And maybe a hint (not too cruel) that he wouldn't want your daughter to associate him wih being smelly?
I'm hoping this is just a 1 off, well a 2 off haha. As a mother I wouldn't let a smelly tramp hold my daughter so obv father or not there is a concern about his hygiene and him handling her if he's not washing, as she has bad eczema and open skin it could lead to infection. I don't mean to speak the drastic but I'm not willing to risk it. If it continues I may suggest he attends the doctors. lets hope he's already sorting it thou.
Hi Tinkerbell2, you say that when you mentioned it before he brushed it off probably because he was embarassed, what was his response? Was it that he was fine? Or, yeah, I know I need to get a clean t shirt on? Or something else?
His response was just a plain "ok" so I guess I just have to wait until his nxt visit to see if he has taken my words in
In the past, while we was dating and I mentioned it he just looked at me sheepishly but it was no where near as bad as it is now. We have had so many problems regarding our child since our break Up but i can honestly say Im feeling sorry for the bloke, to go round smelling like that, there's obv something wrong or changed in his life! His house was never clean, I use to have massive clean up for him, there wasn't a cup to drink from, dirty clothes every where. No toilet roll and he didn't own a Hoover or iron (I brought these items for him) but as I say he didn't smell terrible, if he did I wouldn't of dated him. These last few visits his smell has been eye watering of B.O. I don't know if he just doesn't bath or maybe his house is a tip and the smell has lingured to his clothes but whatever it is he needs to sort it out and FAST. I've been very kind about it to him but I can't have my place stinking to or a dirty person handling buba :(
No it really isn't pleasant is it. Did you say he smoked weed? Often marijuana lingers on clothes and makes BO stronger? Also if he is not drying his clothes properly then that can make them smell bad.
I think someone suggested it earlier, but might you encourage him to visit the doctor about it? You also might direct him to this info on Managing Body Odour. Do you have an email address for him, perhaps you could send him a kind email saying that you are slightly concerned about him and he must hate it and send him the link.
He's not a smoker or anything. I don't have an email for him but could send it as a letter along with printed info as kindly suggested :)
I'm sorry but I had to laugh when I read this! I walk past so many people in the street who smell and I don't know how they do not realise, there's no excuse for it nowadays, times are hard but u can buy shower gel in tesco/Asda for 30p. If my ex told me I smelt I would want to curl up & die! let's hope he sorts it out especially if he is smelling like that around your child
Sadly there are some medical conditions that can aggravate body odour and that's why Anna suggested that Tinkerbell2 could try to persuade him to visit the doctor. However, it is "probably" just bad hygiene and it is a case of how he can be persuaded to improve things.
My friends boyfriend has a problem with terrible foot odour, he has go get a special product from the doctor to bath his feet in, it costs a lot but no more stinky feet :) it must be horrible telling someone they smell and I wonder if he's thinking "is she making it up as we dont always see eye to eye" just to be nasty (I'm not saying you are at all) but then again if you didn't like someone then you wouldn't even waste your time telling them. You said his flat was never clean! Maybe the poor smell from his flat has clung to him? as for never having toilet roll, what did he wipe himself with after a poop? I dread to think.
Ooh what an awkward one. With all the facilities available nowadays there really is no excuse for being constantly pongy and even if you are someone who sweats a lot, there are treatments available from the doctor. Having said that, the main thing is that he is clean around your daughter (I can't believe the number of times I have seen parents change nappies and not wash their hands, in fact sometimes I have said "Right I will hold the baby WHILE YOU WASH YOUR HANDS") But of course it is unpleasant to have this smell in your house.Is there anything more you can do, do you think?