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So, i had this friend who i became very close to and we decvided to be more than friends - about the end of june time. Its a lovely relationship and hes very open to my son and i and whole situation (he had already met my son yaers ago when we were freinds).
However, i find myself getting anxious about the siuation, i feel really overpowered by it and i feel it may be going to fast, i want it to be slow due to past relationship difficulties etc with childs dad. The flip side is, i need to go with my feelings and let the siuation develop as it will naturally be.......
Im just feeling overwhelmed - he will cook us dinner and wsh up when he stays over, hes even hung my washing on the line. But to go from just me and my son to that i find is very difficult and infact somedays i have broke down.
Hes due to visit thursday, sat, sun and monday but i find its too much. Hes finding all the spare time he can to be with me wich is lovely .... buti need space to breathe to and im finding it dificult to gain that balance between me time, time with him alone, and time with my child alone (which i feel, although i have a partner, is still very important).
Any ideas on how to balance my time, and also any ideas on how i can let him know that actaully i dont want to see him nearly 4 days in a row - not because of him, but becasue i need time to simply breathe ................
*breathe*
hi sergoized,
yes absoulutely, he does need to be aware that he is not my full time partner, as i am not ready for that. Hes a very decent man and within the space of me writing this post i have told him how i need time to myself and how i dont want to rush things too fast, his response was 'i'm happy as long as you are, i understand' in a nutshell.
I think i find it hard actaully saying it to him, when i need space etc, i feel like im letting him down yknow?
He does sound like a good man pink lilly.
I understand, in a way, how you're feeling too. My friend tells me that I need to trust him - not with other women, but in the feelings he has for me. So if I say to him that I want an evening at home with my lot, he too will say he's happy with that.
It's good you were able to tell him, and good he has agreed to what you say.
I am so glad you found such a lovely person pink lilly (and you too Sparkling) and so glad you could say it to him. If you wouldnt have said it, you would have let yourself down and with that the honesty of the relationship....so well done, in the long run this is best for both of you
Hi Pink Lilly, well, you have answered your own question in full at the end of your post. You need to tell him exactly what you wrote: "actually i don't want to see him nearly 4 days in a row - not because of him, but because i need time to simply breathe".
He sounds like a relly good guy. I am assuming your son likes him too. He is clearly a very caring person. In that case, your request to be given a bit of space and time should not come as a surprise to him. We all have different needs and we all go at different speeds. Maybe he is more ready for a full on resident relationship than you are, or maybe he's just to sort of person that goes into relationships headlong! But if that does not suit you now, it will not get better in the long run.To feel loved is great but you don't want to to be suffocated!
Do you ever meet outside your house? It might help if he got the message that he is not your full time partner.