Hi,
Been sitting here ages trying to decide what to write but decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself :)
I have 3 children, 2 girls and 1 boy ages are 14, 11 and 4 and am on my own with them so have plenty to keep me busy!
I have recently become a single parent a few months ago but have also been one previously when my girls were younger.
Not really sure what else I can add really!
Hi Mumto3 welcome to onespace its a great site for support and friendship (even though its virtual it still means alot), im a single mum of 3 too, son 14, daughter 6 going on 20!, and a son 3, they certainly do keep you busy dont they? Its also my second time being single but still hurts as much as the first!!! Hope you are ok? Look forward to chatting.
Welcome Mumto3 to One Space 
Look forward to getting to know you.
How are you finding being alone parent again?
Hello Mumto3, very nice to meet you...
Hi Mumto3. Welcome along It really is a great site, so have a look around and jump in wherever you wish too. Your house sounds very busy!! I have a son aged 9, though sometimes I think I'm living with my Dad, hehe. Look forward to 'chatting'. Take care.
Hi Mumto 3, welcome to the site - I'm new here too, with one son aged 7, though I've been separated for two and half years. The site is great, I haven't used it that much yet, but the confidence-boost factor is high already!
Take care,
Lucy
Hello all!
Thanks for the warm welcome :)
Im finding it alot easier to be a single mum this time around as my girls are older so are more like adult company which is lovely (until they start tearing strips off each other then it becomes not so lovely!)
My ex partner and I also share custody of our son so I get a break too. Which prob appeals to some but Im finding it hard to adjust as miss him terribly sometimes! (thats my son im talking about not the ex in case ur wondering 
)
Its been a really difficult few months (wont bore you all with the details) but do finally feel like im getting somewhere and now am wondering If I ever want a man in my life ever again lol x
Hope everyone's well and look forward to "chatting" to you all x
Hi again Mumto3
You are welcome to join in anywhere and everywhere on the site but here are a couple of sections you might like: Parenting Teenagers and Chit-Chat
Hi mumto3
Welcome from me too , glad you joined us.
It sounds as though you are moving forward and that is always good to hear. You know what to expect and how to deal with life, although I imagine it was a shock to find yourself a single parent again.
How long does your son go away for, is it every 3/4 days out of the week? How is this working for your son? Do your girls enjoy this time to be with you again, like in the old days?
We have an article called Moving On, note the second point!!
Are you working at the moment?
Hi Anna,
Yes im working at the moment which helps enormously as get on well with the people at work and have a laugh, takes my mind off of things! Downside is my ex works in the same building but thankfully on the next floor up so dont have to see him very much!
Its difficult to say how my son is coping as when hes with me he says he doesnt want to go to his daddy's (unprompted by me btw) but then according to his dad he's fine when he's there and likes his new partner (a bit of sore point as introduced her recently and we only split up 3 months ago) So im not really sure whether hes coping or not! Although did recently purchase the two homes book as recommended on here so hoping that will help :)
My son roughly goes 4-5 days to each partner alternate weeks but my ex has now suggested he goes a week at a time but I dont think I can handle not seeing him for a week :( when I said to my ex I werent sure I could handle not seeing him for a week he replied its about whats best for him not you, so not sure how that one will pan out!
On a good note my girls really do enjoy having me to themselves and having our girly nights in :)
Yes he is right, it is about what is best for your son, but at his age I would say from experience that a week is too long for HIM to be away from you, unless he is doing something exciting like go on holiday. So do stick to your guns on that one. With lots of time at each house, the Two Homes book will be particularly approrpriate. As he gets older, then perhaps a week at each, with lots of chance for him to contact the other parent all the time?
Hi mumto3, thank god for our work colleagues eh? Bit annoying that your ex is on the floor above, but hopefully that will help with the shared care.
I often hear shared parents say that it is when the child gets to school that the problems start, because they need different books, clothes etc and the children find it quite hard, but your ex can just nip downstairs and pick them up from you!
I imagine your son will say he doesn't want to go to his dads, he is at home with his sisters and his mum, his own bedroom etc and when in the midst of that the thought of upheaving himself into his other life, might be quite tough for him. But if he is not complaining to his father then he is obviously adapting well.
Why does your ex think that a week at a time is best for your son, rather than the current arrangement??
Hi Louise, have to say that I bought the two homes book for my little boy and it really is an appropriate story for him! think he really identified with it :)
Hi Anna, yes in theory the fact that we work in the same building sounds convenient but we do still do alot of exchanges via the school as my ex refuses to come into my team (for some absurd reason he thinks that my whole team know the situation and have been brainwashed into thinking horrible things about him)
He says that he thinks a week each is better as theres a couple of days in our current arrangements that our son does a day here and a day at his and he thinks its too unsettling, personally i think its something to do with the fact that his girlfriend lives a long way away and he can engineer longer at hers but think thats the cynic coming out in me 
Ive said no anyway for now but will review at a later date :)
Hi Mumto3
Thats great that the books were useful, they will hopefully be useful for discussions with your son in the future too, when you can refer back to them.
So your son goes for a few days with dad, then a day at yours, a day at dads then a few days with you, is that right?
Hi Anna,
Yes thats the set up between us at the moment but think we are probably moving towards 5 days at one and 2 at the other's and swap over the following week. I explained to my ex that Im definitely not happy with the week on and week off and he seems to have accepted it for now.
Ive just had my son for 6 days solidly in a row as my ex had an appointment and I really noticed towards the end of the 6 days that my son was crying for his dad alot more! Do you have any tips with this situation? If ever my son gets told off or upset its "I want daddy"
And he probably says "I want mummy" when he has been at his dad's for a while.....for small children it is a case of X is telling me off so I would like Y here.
Whilst this is difficult, and I myself would be tempted to say "well he isn't here so stop crying" I would suggest a better way to deal with it is to say "I know you feel sad that daddy isn't here. You will see him soon." and hug him. This does not get him out of being told off of course. Once he has calmed down, you can then move back to the original discipline, in a calm way. Read this article with some great tips about doing this.
Hi mumto3
I just read your post and was thinking, he may well be crying for his other parent because he is used to the routine, so by saying 'I want my Daddy' is also saying, what's going on, I am not usually here for this long and my body clock says something is amiss, perhaps?
I too think it is completely normal, to cry for the other parent, when being told off. As Louise suggests, give him a hug and tell him when he will see him next. You could even point at the calendar so he can see how many days it will be.
However do not let him use this to defer you from his behaviour, I know it will tug at your heart strings, but he needs to know from this point onwards that this isn't going to sway you.
Glad that your ex has accepted that you are not happy with one week on one week off. 5 and 2 sounds less complicated for all.
Are you having a good week?
Hi Anna,
Im having a great week thanks, working hard and earning money for xmas plus got this w end is my w end with my 3 babies so that always puts a smile on my face :)
Plus me and the ex seem to be (for the moment) able to have conversations that dont descend into a complete farce so thats good too!
Fingers crossed things stay that way!
Hi Mumto3. Glad you're having a good week. Good that you and ex are able to communicate without any hiccups. Have a lovely weekend.
Hi Mumto3
Did you have a lovely weekend with all your three at home? What did you do?
It is always good to hear when people can get on with their ex's, do you have any rules set up between you, ie: only discuss parenting issues via email, or changes of arrangements on the phone not face to face?
There are some issues that may be better dealt with face to face and others over the phone, it all depends on the individuals. I just wonder if you have any rules like that that work??
Hello Mumto3
You are very welcome here and well done on your first post! Just to explain I deleted your name from the end, as we keep things anonymous here just for privacy really
So you have it all going on by the sounds of it, with teen girls just starting to spread their wings and your son.....has he started "big school" yet?
Have you got some local family and friends for support?......and the million dollar question is (I feel like Chris Tarrant here
) what did you learn during your first spell as a single parent that you can use now???