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So I have bubas birthday coming up- where has the first year gone? :(. I plan on having a small family party, this party falls on the day her father isn't scheduled to visit (only day family is able to do) I haven't invited her father as my family don't like him due to him conning a lot of money out of them during our break up (hard to explain) and my family do more for buba than her own father does. As a mother I obviously don't want her 1st birthday being ruined or tension in the air. How ever I have invited her father round on the actual day of her birthday so he can share her big day with her. Her father has asked me if I'm having a party and I felt very awkward as He's not invited, should I just be blunt and say I am but him comiputin out the question or just say I'm having a little tea get together, no big deal? him coming is out the question, he's hardly in her life anyway & when he is hes a c*ck. no 1 wants him there. As I said I don't want her party ruined ????
I think your doing the right thing, your baby deserves a nice party and if your Ex will create an atmosphere then why should he be invited. If he can't behave himself for the sake of his Son he doesn't deserve an invite.
Looking at it objectively if he wanted to be part of his Baby's life he could organise a Party for his side of the family (lucky baby having 2 birthdays). So you have nothing to justify.
Enjoy the Party and take lots of photo's so Baby can look back on.
Whoops "Son" I meant Baby lol apologies x
He lives over 3 hrs away and has to have supervisors visits so him throwing a party won't happen at this point in time but thank you for your advice & support :)
You've invited the father over for the actual birthday, so at least he'll get to see her then. As for the party, if he's conned your parents out of money, he'll probably want to stay well clear anyway (if he had sense hehe). She's only young, so she'll not know anyway if she has the dad there at the party or not. If he mentions a party, I would be honest with him. When is her birthday? The first year certainly does go quickly. I remember being told once they reached one, the time zooms by. They were right 
Her birthday is July. Oh he would fish for an invite, he don't care about what he did to my family or me, that's just the kind of person he is. Yeah the time flys, I miss her being a tiny buba laying in my arms and not being able to pull everything off my livingroom table heehee but I'm also looking forward to watching her grow into a beautiful young lady :) x
Hi Tinkerbell2, it is so surprising how quickly it passes, mine is now 17.5 and I still remember her first party like it was yesterday 
You have invited your ex on your daughters birthday and I think that is very admirable of you. I would have waited to see if he raised the idea himself! I think it is fine to answer honestly that you are having a family party, but it will be for your side of the family only.
If he knew you were having a party do you think he would turn up anyway?
I'm not having the party at my home so if he did turn up he would be waiting on
my door step for a long time haha. I think he would be very annoyed not to be invited but he must put his feelings aside as I know he would caurse trouble & her birthday is about HER not him. As I said he's invited on her actual birthday but he still hasn't given me an answer, still plenty of time thou To make up his mind :)
Tinkerbell, I think you are doing the right thing, enjoy the party with your family and it's up to him whether he will turn up on the actual birthday
I'm glad he's going to be there for her first birthday.
In my eyes, however, as she is only one, you can't possibly call it a party 
and you will be seeing your family on that day.
If it's not called a party then no one will get rattled...
Just my view point, but I have come to realise if you give things a different title reactions don't happen.
Yes sparklinglime that is so very true! A gathering is what our teens apparently call a party with less than 20 people!
So Tinkerbell2, your family is having a gathering, rather than a birthday party!!
*him coming is out of the question