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I was just thinking about how shops put toys in boy/girl sections, do parents stick to this ?
im asking as my son has a pushchair and a toy doll and I want to buy him a pram, its all he plays with
i have a friend who has three girls 10 mths apart they have a toy garage cars/ train tracks etc.
Hi all - interesting thread.
My boys had a buggy each and have dolls which they asked for when they were about 2 years old. For my eldest I bought an anatomically correct boy, for my youngest I didn't bother as he has a lot more dolls.
For a long time they pushed them around in the buggy. For the youngest it was about nurturing the "baby" (we also had quite a lot of disturbing time when he was "giving birth" but that's another story :-) ). With the eldest I think it may have been more about pushing something with wheels.
The 4 year old still plays with his buggy - the 6 year old would if I got it out but he might not if his friends were around. I have just noticed he is starting to react to peer pressure.
I remember when they were both at preschool when they were 3 and 4 they dressed up in these princess outfits. Another 4 year old boy made a comment something like "why are you dressing up in girls clothes" and the teacher said "because it's fun" then this boy joined in happily.
His attitude is from his father who I know is super masculine and won't tolerate anything he sees as feminine for his son so I think a lot more of it comes from the adults than the children.
I did buy the boys blue buggies as I didn't want their Dad to say anything negative about it, but they have pink ones at my Mum's!
My friend has a daughter who is a bit of a tomboy - she's just turned 4. She has been going through a real period of distress because she doesn't feel like she fits in. For example, she wants to wear "boyish" clothes and play with "boyish" toys but then she doesn't have any girl friends (the boys at preschool love her!)
My friend has solved the problem by taking her shopping for boyish girl clothes - pretty hard to find - and helping her look at what games she could play at preschool with the girls.
As far as I can see, that whole problem has been adult created however there are a couple of studies in primates that suggest we may be genetically predisposed to play with toys of "our gender".
I personally think children should play with want they want to play with but preferably something without batteries!
Gem
x
Mine have all had and played with toys from both genders, though i'm with you on the peer pressure Gem, my son played happily with girls toys etc until about 5-6 when a boy at school had said something to him about playing with girls toys and he stopped.
Some documentary production company got in contact with me after seing pictures on here somewhere of my son dressed up in girls clothes, they are doing a documentary on this very subject.
I'm still not sure if I want to be involved.
Both my children are kind of and I'm going to use the word odd but I dont mean it in any negative way. My son has always drifted towards traditionaly girl like things, all his sort of heroes, like the youtube chanels he follows, the programs he watches online, they are all girls, when ever he plays computer games he chooses a female avatar and spends hours and hours doing the hair and the clothes, there is a PC game called Skyrim for which you can download various 'mods' that allow you to change the game in many ways, he has downloaded ones that enable his character to look like some fashion model with long flowing hair, makeup... that goes round killing people with a sword.
There was a time when he told me he wanted to be a girl, that he thought he maybe was, now he tells me that he is just different to all the other boys, that he is a boy but he likes girl things and there is nothing wrong with that. Most his friends are girls, when he gets invited to parties he is often the only boy there, he does have boyfrieds just I think mostly girls.
He's perfectly confident in who he is, he is very popular in school, so I have no worries and I am very proud of him.
And my daughter is very boyish and I think that is because she lives with two boys that do traditionaly boyish stuff, computer games and more computer games, hitting things with sticks, skateboards and skooters.
I've always encouraged them to play with what ever they wanted and to dress in what ever they want to.
When there mum put some presents through the door recently, none of them were labeled and some werent wrapped but between them they shared them out and my daughter took the boyish stuff, mechano, little cars and my son the girlish stuff, dolls : )
One of the women from the documentary that contacted me told me that, when she had been talking to primary school teachers that she was supprised to hear the frequency of fathers asking the teachers to stop encouraging their sons to play with girls toys, which they werent, the children were just playing with what they wanted to.
I went off to make a coffee and now I'm back I've forgotten where I was and what I was actualy trying to say.
Just you should encourage your children to be who they want to be and support them in that, if they know you support them and love them then they will have the confidence to be who they want to be.
I hope : )
Hi bubblegum, I totally agree, we mustn't gender stereotype our children, as they will never learn who they really are. They would be unable to explore and find real satisfaction within themselves. So I say Good for You!
You say at the beginning of this post that you are still not sure about this documentary. My motto has always been "Don't know means No".
Have you spoken with your son about it? What does he think? What would be your motives for doing it?
Well... It's my son who wants to do it, he's all ra! ra! ra! I've kept him in 'the loop' all along.
But me I'm thinking Benefit streets and do I realy want my life, my children, used in a documentary pushing an ajenda over which I have no control.
Initialy I was receptive to them because I was flattered that they chose my son, it stroked my ego to think that there was something special about my kids, I mean 'I' know there is anyway : ) but that someone else noticed! I saw that as a reflection of my own amazing parenting skills and momentarily I lost objectivety.
I think ultimatly the only reason to do it is my own vanity.
It's now just letting my son down gently as he thinks hes going to star in his own personal show, like Hanna Montana only his name.
: )
Unfortunatly I'm not very good at saying no, so I'm hoping they will forget about me and not call me back and use someone else, it's just they are all so nice when they call me and visit me and email me...
I shall keep you informed.
It is your decision to make, i totally understand you finding it difficult to let your son down, as you have said you never know what direction the documentary will take and you have to look out for you and your children.
bubblegum, I am getting the feeling that you are quite apprehensive at this point over whether it really is a good idea to go ahead with this programme and it is sounding to me as though you would prefer it if he didn't do it. It also sounds as though you know that if they ring and are being all friendly that you might find it hard to say No to them.
What if I said to you that if you really aren't sure, then you need to take control of the situation? Call them and tell them that you are not interested?
Yes it might let your son down and you can tell him what you wish (they never called back or you think it is inappropriate at this age, perhaps bring an onslaught of negative media etc) but you need to be 100% sure.
: )
Yes.
I shall just say no, in an email.
I will keep you updated : )
Good luck :)
Yes, it is a decision which needs some thinking about, Bubblegum so good luck with it all and come and talk to us some more about about if it helps.
I was reading about a Swedish toy firm this week, they are part of the Toys r Us organisation and have decided (well, been dragooned) into becoming "gender neutral" in their adverts for toys. Have a look here.
You made me click on a link to the Daily Mail!
I'll have to take a bath now.
ANY! Companies trying to sell toys to children with adverts I find abhorent, irrespective of their implied motives.
They just want to sell stuff.
Here is my daughter with a nerf gun she purchased with her birthday money : )
She doesnt care what she should or shouldnt wear, do, be, play with, untill it is suggested to her, one way or another.
Well... appart from my approbation that is : )
Oh dear re Daily Mail 
Still an interesting article though. My son has a nerf gun too even though he is 19.
It's not just children who are subject to advertising stereotypes.
Back in the day, there were so many products advertised for the "little woman". Nowadays I have noticed there is a general atmosphere in many adverts suggesting male incompetence, in ways that would be illegal if they were suggested about women. I hate this reverse discrimination. To me it is personified by that "Loose Women" programme on the telly.
On a more positive note, I have noticed that adverts are finally beginning to reflect a wider range of ethnicity, but that's only in the last couple of years.
I dont have a TV and so I rarely see adverts, I saw one the other day for some new point and shoot camera that had some new anti shake technology, it was using a chicken, it was quite funny, I think it was on youtube.
Search for 'Bill Hicks on Marketing' in youtube, if you are not offended by swearing that is.
Thanks, Bubblegum!
Ha ha very funny! Great technique for the photgraphy thread eh?! (somehow?)
Apparently in Sweden they don't have a 'boys' and 'girls' section in their toy shops either 
Good!
I've always shoped in charity shops, mainly at least, where the toys tend to be just jumbled up in large boxes, rarely anyway sorted into 'boys & girls'
I like this bellow, my son found it, printed it out and put it up on the wall in our computer room :)
For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feel vulnerable.
For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.
For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep.
For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.
For every girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one.
For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry’s attacks on her self esteem.
For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who find the way to freedom a little easier.
That is brilliant, I just googled it and found its source, thanks bubblegum and son!
I think it goes to show where your son is coming from and the struggle that many males/females face, but perhaps aren't necessarily allowed to experiment or have the mental capacity to recognise an inner struggle. Go bubbs son!
I agree with you, the distinctions seem very restrictive. I think they originally came about because toys were for children to "play at" what they may do in their adult lives, so that was very much that the world of work and driving and building was a male domain and home and children for the females. However, nowadays, either sex can take on either or both roles.
However, another function of play is to imitate their caregivers and so it makes sense that both boys and girls will have their own dolls and teddies to look after and a pushchair to push them in, etc.
My children are both boys so there was not a massive amount of access to traditional girls' toys but they still had teddies and cared for them and pushed them in a little brick truck.They also loved dressing up (and sometimes this was using my shoes or scarves) and they had a play oven and did baking etc with me. I wasn't keen on the boys having guns etc, although soon realised that they built them out of Lego bricks anyway.
Personally, I think the main problem is with those adults that make fun of/criticise boys or girls who prefer playing with toys traditionally associated with the other sex.
What does everyone else think?