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My partner has an 11 year old son from a previous relationship. He pays the statutory child maintenance. The mother however is claiming benefits and working without declaring it. The child has a lot of difficulties and we agreed to have him once a week Friday 6pm to Sat 6pm. However there are times (very seldom) when we would like to make changes to this. Most of the time the mother is agreeable but has now decided that she wants to take this matter to the courts. We are worried that the court will insist that we have the child at times that do not suit us. We are also aware than in a lot of cases the law will be on the mothers side. My partner is happy to see his child regularly but we think it unfair that the mother and may be ultimately courts get to decide when my partner gets to see him. Do we have any control over the days/times we see him?
Hello Elaine73
Sparkling lime has given you some good information. Although the parent without the majority day to day care (your partner) can apply for more parenting time with his son through the courts, he cannot be forced to spend time with his son by the courts.
Although there are no hard and fast rules, a common pattern of parenting time would be for your partner to have his son overnight one night midweek and alternate weekends for the whole of the weekend so I wonder if his mum is hoping that you will be given more time if she goes to court (not realising that she can't force you). She may be feeling very hard done to on the weeks she does not get a break from her son, especially if he has special needs.
Before any case regarding child contact is taken to court, a person has to try mediation or justify why this has not happened. Why not take the initiative and get your partner to suggest Mediation (by letter, and keep a copy of the letter); you can find your nearest mediator by clicking here. You may be able to get an agreement whereby you usually have him Friday 6pm to Saturday 6pm but that there is some flexibility.
hiya
this is just my opinion, but its better for everyone all round to go through the court, you won't go in front of a judge or anything like that, its more of a mediation meeting, just to put things on official paper and have a structured secure arrangment that suits everybody. you said the child has some problems, well no wonder the mother wants more support from his dad.. i would.. and as a lone parent you do have to sometimes work "illegally" to make ends meet.. the fact that she has allowed you both to change arrangments doesn't neccerrely mean she was happy about it, by the sounds of it she's had enough and wants to do this the proper way.. more power to her in my books..
im sorry but you sound like this child is an inconvienence to you and his dad, personnally id fight to have more time with my child if i was in your partners position. there is no "we" in this situation, its between the parents to make the healthiest decision for thier child..
Hi
By taking the matter to Court and having set times means that the Parent With Care is perhaps able to make future arrangements.
However, the Non Resident Parent, even with a Court Order does not have to take the child/ren - which is why I use the word perhaps.
The PWC has to make the child/ren available for contact stated by the Court.
If the NRP chooses to cancel contact then the PWC can't do much about it and has to deal with it.
The NRP can always ask to see more of the child/ren if they want to, although there is no obligation for the PWC to make the child/ren available.