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hi all
my wife recently left me with the kids, she had an affair and basically she went..with a little bit of help out of the door (not physically i assure you) but i just couldnt believe she would walk out on her kids!!!
what i want to know is can she make me sell our house or pay her out? i have both our children at home with me they are 15 and 13, the mortgage is in my name only but i dont think that matters? there is no way i can afford to pay her anything at the moment, we have no savings and i would not be able to afford any loan payments if im ordered to pay her out, the savings we did have went on buying her a new car a few months before she went :( maybe i can get her to give me half the value of that haha.
any advice would be great as its nearly christmas and im at my wits end with worry.
as an aside would she be able to take the kids? they are 15 and 13 and have already told her they want to stay with me. we both work full time etc but it worries me that she may be entitled to take them as it seems most of the time these sort of issues seem to favour the mother.
Hello, like Louise says your assets will be split by a court if you can't agree but they do go in favour of what is best for the children and as it is their home I don't think they would make you leave it.
Your children are old enough to decide, I think when a child is 11 or 12 they can state which parent they want to stay with (I chose to stay with my mum when I was 11 and had to tell a court welfare officer)
Hi sillyboy (its funny writing that!) and welcome from me 
What a worrying time for you.
If your wife decides to go to court for the children to live with her and you dispute it, then the case will go to CAFCASS to help the courts decide. CAFCASS will interview everyone involved and come to a conclusion. Colie is right, as your children are teens their thoughts will be taken into consideration.
How are the children at the moment, have they seen their mum since she left?
my kids are very resilliant and are absolutely fine i couldnt have survived this without them. yes they are still seeing her on a fairly regular basis, i would never deprive them of seeing there mother plus the fact she wants to come home means shes there more than i would like.
id like to add that i thank you all for my warm welcome and the advice you have all given me.
You are very welcome sillyboy!
It sounds pretty difficult if your ex is still coming around, are you able to make yourself scarce at these times, or does it tend to happen when you are home?
Does your ex treat the house as her own or as a guest? It is important for you to lay some ground rules and boundaries around times she can visit and what she can do whilst she is there. ie: help herself to tea and coffee, let herself in without prior invitation.
I am also wondering whether she has a key? As the house is in your name, you are entitled to having the key back if you so wish.
welcome sillyboy sorry to hear about your wife but you have your kids and they will pull you through . if she fights for the kids then they will go to cafcass mine did and their wishes and feelings were taken into account and they dont see their dad only by letters . cafcass were really good for me and my 2 boys . with the house i do have to pay my ex but not until the yougest one as finished his schooling.
if your ex does have a key then like i did keep it in the door so they have to knock to get in . whislt i was at work i used to go out through the back way to leave a key in the door . i would ring the working tax extra explain top them that you now have the kids to get what you can form them.
do stay on board and keep postings and use the the links on here as they are really good
Hello sillyboy and welcome to One Space
If you are married then the usual order of things is that there is a financial settlement as part of the divorce. It is not a case of her "making you" do anything but if you are unable to agree a division of assets then a court will decide. They take a lot of things into consideration when deciding, such as keeping a home intact for the children, the earningds and potential earnings of both parties and the ages of the children. You need some legal advice. We have pour own Legal expert on here and you can send an email free of charge as a first step. Click here to see. Please note that their office is closed from 20th for Christmas.