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So u may or read my other post and I've had time to think- let me explain...... I'm 30, only ever had 1 proper serious relationship (loads of past "fun thou) I have a 6 month old daughter with my "serious relationship" let's call her A - she's the only person I've ever loved but I messed up BIG time- I cheated on her while she was pregnant, went out with mates every night and wasted every penny of my money instead of saving for baby then I cheated again so she dumped me before baby was born- since baby was born I've not turned up for visits and lied when it comes to my daughter, A hates me but I go to her house to visit our daughter- she doesn't talk to me unless it's about our baby, the issue is I lost the love of my life and realised this as soon as she ended it but it was to late, she's a stunner, how do I cope if she meets some1 else? I know she's dating- how do I handle another man around my daughter daily? I doubt I will have more kids as I'm not that kinda guy if I'm honest but I'm pretty sure she will! Which means in future I will have to go to her "family" home feeling like a lemon while she is wiv new hubby and kids ( I know this is in far future but it will happen) I want her & my daughter but A hates my guts and when I left her house the other week I heard her say "yuk" as she closed door, she doesn't know I heard her but I know it was aimed at me (I'm not being paro) I try to act mr "big guy" around her but she can nearly bring herself to look at me
It's very hard and sadly do not have a time machine :( I know that when she settles down my daughter will be living with her and her partner with me going to their house on "visits" & my daughter interacting with him playing happily family's , I can't bare the thought of A having children with another man knowing them children have nothing to do with me but they will be my daughters siblings & she will be wanting to play with them when I'm round
I don't think you should be dwelling on what might be. If it's going to happen, then it'll happen. I've been reading your other posts, and you've been given some great suggestions regarding the baby.
Yes I'm very thankful for all the advice, a friend suggested this site and it's been so helpful- I can't blame A for hating me and all she does is to protect our daughter as I have let both down in the past but I'm hoping in time things will get better- many kind thanks
I don't suppose I will often hear someone like yourself actually owning up to their guilt and feeling sorry, but to be honest it isn't about you any longer because not once but twice you cheated on her, so unfortunately now I think you will have to just try and get over her and move on too.From someone's point of view who has been on the receiving end of a cheat..I took him back once and he did it again to me. I gave him that second chance because according to him it was never going to happen again, and everyone deserved a second chance. Well now I know I wouldn't even give anyone a second chance to hurt me like that again.I honestly don't think you can truly love someone, and they be the love of your life, but yet cheat on them, so maybe you are feeling that now you can't have her you want her, and if you actually did get back with her again, the novelty would wear off, and you'd be looking for excitement again.
I think all you can do now is make sure you are the best father you can be to your little girl, and prove how sorry you really are to her by being a great Dad.Then maybe one day she won't hate your guts and you will be able to work together better.
Sorry if I'm sounding harsh, I don't mean to be, but maybe it will help you understand how devasted someone that happens to can feel.
hiya footie
i really dont understand why some men cheat while their partners are pregnant, but the fact you feel ashamed and regretful shows that you at least claim responsibility for your fk up!!.. its such a shame that for a moments pleasure a family can be ripped apart, but you need to stop dwelling on things and be the man you need to be for your daughter and her mum.. your lucky all she says is yuk!!, id have your b***s on the table!!
Hi
Nothing can be changed, and I think you can understand why things need to move on.
Be a good Dad and support your daugher's Mum where you can. Hopefully you can build a good relationship with your daughter, and hopefully her Mum will see this and value it. Perhaps you can put some of Louise's post into action.
Remember she is still young...
Hello Footie. If I'm being perfectly honest, I do have to say you've treated A extremely badly, which you realise now, but it seems a little bit too late. She appears to have moved on with her life, and if she doesn't want you then there's little you can do about it. Carry on being a dad to your daughter as whatever is happening between you and A, it doesn't affect the relationship with the child. Good luck