child maintenance money and my sons access

Daisy doo

hi, i have a little boy who is 6 years old, me and my ex seperated 3 years ago and over that time there have been a string of women walking in and out of E (my little boy) life.

After constant conversations with my ex he finally realised that it was effecting E and we agreed that he would give a 3 month cooling off period when he gets with a new partner before introducing E as he was becoming very confused by it all.

He hasn't been sticking to the arrangements and i find this very distressing and upsetting. i have contacted a mediation centre to try to get this resolved but he has now cancelled the appointment and i'm still waiting for a call back as to when he will attend, if he will...

i managed to get him to sign some paperwork a few months ago, stating that he would pay £100 a month for child maintenance, which he has only paid for 3 months since splitting 3 years ago. He then called me to tell me that he is lowing the payment cause he cant afford it to £84 which he states the CSA have told him that, which doesnt seem right when i go on the calculator it still comes out at over £100 he should be paying. i then asked him to bring it in writing to the mediation session as i dont believe is the case.

We also came to an agreement over the property that we bought together, in which he has not paid for in over 3 years i have taken the mortgage on my own and been paying it. We agreed that i would pay him back half the deposit that we paid together as a pay out and he would keep his name on the mortgage so i could carry on paying it and keep as mine and E family home. he was supposed to provide me with bank details that he hasnt done until yesterday now he is demanding 2 months in arrears!

he wont bring E home on the weekends that he has him and i have to do a 40 mile round trip to collect him. i told him i am not happy to do this anymore and he told me that he would take more money out of the maintenance money for petrol to bring him home?

Please can someone tell me legally where i stand on this?

i dont want to stop access, but feel i am being made a foul of and have had enough :O(

Posted on: November 29, 2011 - 10:53am

Anna

Online

Parenting specialist

Hi there

Firstly welcome to One Space, it sounds as though have been going through some difficult stuff with your ex.

Initially it seemed that you were frustrated that your ex was introducing E to a string of girlfriends and you both agreed that maybe this wasn't in E's best interests.

However your ex hasn't stuck ot it. Unfortunately there is little you can do here, this is who your ex is, hopefully E will just see them as daddys 'friends' as he probably won't remember his father being at home with you. I think that as he grows up, as long as you keep talking to your son about morals and respect etc, then you can teach him your ethics. You are the full time carer and our children listen to us. You don't need to slag daddy off, but as your son gets older you can ddiscuss these different women coming in and out of his fathers life.

Ok, so your need some advice regarding your mortgage and the CSA

Contact our Housing expert, they can help you with your property/mortgage issues.

And our CSA expert, who can help you work out what to do about maintenance and whether he can take money off for petrol money.

This all sounds as though you are doing your very best for everyone concerned, however your ex is not recipricating the favour.

Remember all of this is for your son, do what is right for him, not for your ex. You don't want to stop access, but you do need to get some things set firmly in stone now.

Does your son enjoy the time with his dad?

Posted on: November 29, 2011 - 11:45am

Jermaine

Hello,

Regarding the fiancial payments:

If you were married with your ex, you can seek ancillary relief - a financial provision order.

Attention to the s.25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. Here you may gloss through the courts consideration where a periodical financial payment may be made for you. A fair amount may be reached via this option.

Note that in applying for the ancillary relief, your child's welfare will be of paramount considerations, and the fact that your child's "needs" will be of first priority, you can rest assure that sufficient funds will be granted for his maintenance.

Posted on: March 6, 2012 - 3:22am