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If your ex partner is taking the children on holiday over the summer, you may be going through a range of emotions.
You might wish you were going with them
You might worry that they are going to be safe
You might be jealous as you think you are going to be left behind twiddling your thumbs
You might be annoyed that your ex partner always gets to do all the fun things with them
Read a compassionate article called When your ex wants to take your children on holiday abroad… by one of our bloggers on this subject, who gives tips and ideas for having a great time as well as being supportive of your childrens excitement.
Share here with us your worries, fears, thoughts and suggestions for dealing with the many emotions of being left home alone!!
My son is away with his dad in durham for a week. I have just phoned 2 say goodnight and he is busy playing on the wii, so I got a "night mum" shouted from other side of room :lol:
The place has been so quiet all day, no cbeebies on tell, no bedtime story, no catching the bed bugs, no cuddles! Missing him so much already and got another 6 days to go!
Still, have got some nights out planned, so that should take my mind of it, but this is the first time since he was born that we have been apart for longer than one night :(
Oh Vickstick34,
it is so hard being separated.
When children didn't return from school, there was no bubble bath time, no getting fresh waters, no lullaby, no finding favourite teddies, no stories, no brushing of teeth. No hug and kiss goodnight.
Just empty beds. :(
Don't take it wrong that your son did not give you a long phone contact. He's distracted. Maybe try in the morning?
I have kind of adjusted to it now. I put music on, put washing on, dishwasher, anything to take the terrible silence away. I phone my mum, just have to make it through the evening somehow.
Glad you have some things lined-up for this week. You are being very brave. Like losing a limb isn't it?
Big huuug for you.
You are doing so well, and it will be tough for a few nights. It will get better though.
love
sy
yes it is hard to be away from them, whether you are a mum or a dad :(
it will help, vickstick, to known that your boy will behaving a good time (it's great he has such a good relationship with his dad) and also it is a chance not only for your nights out but for a REST, d'ya hear me????? lol
:lol: I hear u louise, believe me I am def making the most of having some down time. Haven't had my 5 yr old alarm clock thundering in at stupid o'clock for the last 2 mornings and have had the chance to actually read in the middle of the day. Lovely!
He's having a great time with his dads family which is lovely. C hasnt seen his gran for over a year so its great for her too. They are going to take a trip to york to see the thomas trains. Hes going to have a fab time.
Still cant wait for him to come home tho :)
Sy, i know. Its real hard as this is the first time we've been apart. I was watching Dr Who last night and there was a little boy on it that reminded me of my boy. D'ya know, I blubbed like a big girl :oops:
It is nice to have some time 2 myself tho, and C has such a good time with his dad. So I know hes being well looked after which is a big relief!
Still miss him like crazy and cant wait to talk to him 2nite :(
The week will go quick tho. b4 i know it he'll be back and careering around like a whirlwind again. Can't wait! :D
Hi,
This is the first time we have been separated in ten yrs for more than three nights.
Im happy for him and would never stop him from seeing his dad. They are making the most of the time as my ex's new Thialand bride comes over at xmas (this bombshell was dropped just before this hol. No one knew of this relationship). Our son is worried that when the babies come along, his dad wont want to see him. Im dealing with the upsetment. I wont be nasty about my ex's lifestyle -to each their own, i say.
Whilst child away Im catching up on making space in cupboards-one of those things i always MEANT to do. The charity shop will do well. lol.
I have enjoyed not having to make a meal. I have been able to have a rubbish micro meal and not feel guilty about it.
I have had a dvd night too. WITHOUT any episodes of Mr.Bean!!!
I have had the longest soak in the bath. Made even better as we have been without hot water and heat since winter (thats another story).
We have to make the most of this time alone, and enjoy it.The children will return to us and be expecting to see a refreshed parent, which hopefully they will get.
Good luck to everyone out there, the children will be back soon enough.
Bella.x
Hi Bella
It sounds like you are having a lovely time! I ALWAYS enjoy it when my daughter goes away, I love ME time!!
When does your son come back home?
Bella, it sounds like you're appreciating your time!
Hi Bella, I guess your son is back? Did he have a good time? Is it good to have him home? Do you feel you had a good break? Any more plans for the summer?
Hi Anna,
Son not back until the weekend. I have meant to do SO much-ie wallpaper, gardening etc, however I have to think of this break as MY HOLIDAY too. I need to be kind to myself, for once. The garden has had a little attention so Im not THAT bad! Im hoping to take two of the children away next month seeing as I never saw the sun lol.
I have had emails from son on hol-he is loving it and his dad is spending a fortune on him. Which makes me feel sad that I can't reproduce this when he comes home. I get the boring jobs-feeding and clothing him etc. Oh well, it's almost the day when he comes home. I intend to visit the seaside on the buses, let him pick ideas out and also get the decorating done-he may even "help"!.
B.
Hi Bella
It's funny isn't it, that our list of jobs does not look so appealing when we actually contemplate them? As you say, you are supposed to be having a break, so glad to hear you are doing it 
I suppose you will have to grin and bear it when your son comes home with tales of his holiday, best to try and be glad that he has had a good time
Hello Louise,
I intend to be "all ears" when he returns with fascinating tales of his holiday adventures. This sorry mess is nothing to do with him, only his dad and myself.
I really do need to get the place looking fab- I have the equipment but not the motivation.All this will come though. Anyway, I would much rather tidy the garden when son is here playing football-i have been known to tackle the ball away from him and run away with it. Much to his embarrassment!
Rightio Im going to have another of my luxorious soaks in the bath with cd's of MY choice playing and look forward to taking other "child" (woman) to the cinema tomorrow.
Life makes you smile when you dont expect it and gives you strength for another day.
B.
Hi Bella
I have found that saying to myself 'I could' do the painting rather than 'I should' do the painting, means I end up doing it sooner rather than later as I have taken the pressure of myself!
What are you going to see at the cinema??
Hello,
My daughter (middle child) and I went to see "The Rebound". It was ok (had some comedy parts in and some cringy moments too) but meant so much to me as it had similar things to what I have recently been through. You really have to watch it and then decide to grab life with both hands-if you dare!
There was a trailer on for a film with Julia Roberts in "Eat, Pray, Love". Looks good. I have ordered the book from the library. It appears to be about a disillusioned woman who, basically, decides to escape the rat race and "find herself" by travelling to Tibet (i think).
Im sure I will be able to read this book along with the other 5 I have on the go at the mo! and inbetween wallpapering! lol.
Son home tomorrow-flight was delayed. Cant wait to see him.
That sounds interesting, Bella!
I was watching a book progamme the other day and there was a novel featured called "The Bed I Made" by Lucie Whitehouse, apparently it is about a woman running from an abusive relationship, I don't think she has any children but it sounded very good the way it had built up the realisation about the abuse gradually, I might try and get hold of a copy then I can report back to you all.
What are the books you are reading?
Hi Louise,
Im trying to read my daughters book-"twenty's girl" about an old lady who haunts a young girl at the funeral in order for the girl to locate a lost peice of jewelry. (cant spell). My daughter recommended it. Im also reading Julie Walters recent one. AND a collection of travelling tales, a new Tony Parsons and a Lynne Andrews. The latter Im not getting along with at all.
However im waiting to read the "eat, pray and love" from the library as i KNOW i have to finish it or i get a fine! lol. Should be here the middle of next week.
B.
Wow Bella that's quite a wide selection, is that because you read something to match your mood at the time? I have read some Lyn Andrews in the past. I am currently reading a historical novel about Anne Nevllie who went on to marry Richard III, it is good but not compelling.
Your boy will be back today!
I used to love reading. Finding time is my problem!
I should make some though...
Glad your son will be home today Bella.
My toilet is full of books, stacked up along the radiator, on the cistern, on the windowsill, I've got a few on the go, half read. It's actually the only place they leave me alone in peace, if they come to me when I'm on the toilet I lift my hand up and say I'm having a poo go away... and they do.
Sorry if my little story has ruined any ones day with mental images they'd rather not have on a Sunday morning.
Some of you know I have just finished a college course, one of the topics covered has been body language. One of my fellow students has just been on holiday and she kept saying to her husband about other couples "ooh look at their body language, they are a new couple/they have had an argument/they are putting on an act" Her husband got sick of it so one morning, when he was on the little ensuite loo, he pulled open the door so she could see him and shouted "How's that for body language!"
But anyway...yes sometimes the loo is the only place for a quiet read.
Hope your son had a brilliant time Bella, and hopefully your batteries have re-charged!
Am like you Sparkling, I used to love to read, but if I do start one, I can't seem to concentrate anymore. I stick to magazines now, and like Bubblegum, that's usually read either on the loo, or if I'm really really lucky, in the bath. Sadly I don't get peace in the loo either, and other people I speak to don't either. I'm sure I never followed my parents and disturbed them in the loo!!!!
I liked that body language story Louise. I often look at couples and try and work out if they are really as happy as they seem, if they are new couple etc. Don't even know why I do that, and I never find out, as I don't even know them!!!! Could maybe follow them and ask I guess 
I can just see you with your Sherlock Holmes deerstalker on, alisoncam!
Believe me, that urge to accompany you to the loo will wear off eventually, when C suddenly becomes more "private" about his own body. By the time they are teenagers, they don't want to accompany us anywhere especially not in public, lol.
As for reading, your concentration levels will maybe go up when you do have more time to yourself, at the moment it could feel as if the minute you get reading something, you get interrrupted so you might as well stick to shorter pieces such as in magazines.
Did your son get back, Bella?
hi,
oh yes he is back. Thanks to everyone for their support , it really helped.
He talked for two days about what a great time he had with his dad and i listened. He was very clingy and would not leave my side for a few days. He does not want to have a holiday with me-he would rather stay at home if his sister babysits him! He backs this idea up by insisting he is too tired for a hol.Im okay with this idea-i wont go away but at least he doesn't expect me to match his dad's expense etc.
I finished reading "the ex wife's survival guide" book. it was just a girly thing and not really worth it so i don't recommned it. Save your time and read something else! Im just reading the book of the new film "eat pray love" and its getting better. Its about self realisation for a woman in a bad marriage and how she finds herself. she is very brave and i admire her.
Well i have two sleepovers to carry out tonight and tomorrow-gulp-so must get house prepared!
Hope everyone has a great day today.
B
Really pleased your son had a great time Bella. The clingyness soon wears off doesn't it! Two sleepovers, uhmmm. We had one last week, in fact we've had several here. It's great for the kids, but as you very well know, it's us mums or dads that have to prepare beforehand, deal with the bickering, then clean up (what looks like a bomb has hit it) afterwards! Oh the joys of it all, hehe.
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time, enjoy 
Hi Bella
Did you finish the 'eat pray love' book? Is it any good?
Is it good to have the children back at school?
Hi Anna,
Yes I finished the book. It was very very good. A bit hard to get into then its ok.
I may even buy a copy as I borrowed the other copy from the local library.
Son goes abck to school next tuesday. I will miss him but the house will be tidier!lol.
Garden needs attention so that's on my list of "jobs" to do. I have been trying to fix my bathroom sink too. All this home ownership is not easy, but Im determined not to ask my dad or anyone else to do it. I fought to take on the mortgage so now I have to take on the tasks alone. I will succeed.
Cinema this wekend I think, as a last relaxing moment with son before school life starts again.
B.
Hi bella
I might have to give that book a go, I love recommended books.
Bathroom sink? Can you look on youtube for tips, apparently there is really useful info on DIY. How does it need fixing? To the wall? Is it chipped?
Anyway you will succeed! A positive attitude brings positive rewards! Although if you dad happens to pop in for a coffee, he might decide to help without you asking for it :)
What to see at the cinema??
Hello Anna,
Yes try the book. I got the hard back and big font which made it easier to get through, somehow!.
The plug was sealed tightly down with sealant after the builders "fixed" it. I tried to clean it and found the fault and the screw doesnt fit into the drain cover anyway. Now it just leaks straight away. Im going to try to get a longer stainless steel screw (non rusting) and try that way first, not wanting to reseal as cant clean properly.
I have my own toolbox now, just need a pink toolbelt and Im sorted!!lol
Cinema- not sure. I saw Salt with Angelina Jolie. It's like Bourne films.I still prefer Bourne though.
ENjoy the weekend.
B.
Hi Bella
I hope your sink situation is now under control! I saw Salt the other day, I was nearly put off by the first scene, but did enjoy it in the end!
I also watched Shutter Island with leonardo dicaprio, that was good, especially at the end!
Is your son back at school again now? Is he enjoying it?
Hello Anna,
Sink-ashamed to say I havent done it. Been doing anything but!
Shutter island was good but within minutes you knew what was goin gto happen, I thought. Ive been to see The sorcerors apprentice (£1 ticket as it was childrens club!) and that was good.
School- its ok now. He has settled down well. Just the bully ruling the street that is preventing him form going out now. (it took me years to get him to meet others and actually get outsie the house). I dont want to confront this bully as he has social issues which "excuse" him!!
Anyway, Im clearing the house of excess junk, although really i should sell it. I found some "sindy/ken and action man" dolls from 1966 which i bought years ago in a charity shop. I need to learn how to do ebay! Son thinks these toys are from the olden days! cheek-its my era! lol.
Well I have to tell you that I went to a museum this summer in the Lake District, it was a folk museum all about the history of the town and there was a display of "toys of yesteryear"....which included something I used to have as a litle girl! 
Hi all, this is my first time posting eek! after some advice really - in a couple of weeks, my ex wants to take our two children to see his parents who have recently moved to Ireland. I'm anxious as they've never been away for that long let alone that far away 
the thought of them going makes me upset and eyes fill with tears. I understand that he has a right to see them too, however I worry about whether they'll be looked after, whether his parents will try to 'brainwash' them (they've all not been very nice to me in the past). Do I have any rights as their mum? my mum is worried that my ex will try and 'take' the kids and I will lose them. I feel torn and worried. Any help much appreciated. Beth x
Hi bethanhaf and welcome to One Space and congrats on your first post!
Sorry to read about your upcoming worry. I am wondering how old your children are? If you have concerns about their safety then you do have every right to say No. If your ex isn't happy with your answer then he could take the issue to court and let a judge decide.
It may be that whilst his parents have the children, they will be charming towards them and if there were any issues they will have each other to lean on. How do they feel about it?
Hi Anna,
my kids are seven and five.
ive never been away from them for this length of time and while I think his parents will be ok I don't get on with them.
beth
Hi bethanhaf, welcome to One Space
They will probably be o.k. as Anna has said they will have each other, will you be able to keep in contact with them whilst they are away so that you can reasure yourself that they are o.k and if there are any problems they can tell you!
Hi bethanhaf, how are you feeling about it all now? It is horrible when we feel we are handing over our babies to people that don't show respect for us. Have you spoken to the children about it? Do they want to go? What is your relationship like with your ex? How often does he see the children? Do you think a phonecall with Grandma would help you feel better about it?
Or are you thinking that you really don't want them to go and will go down the route of saying No to the trip?
You mentioned that you have a fear that he will 'take' the children and not come back, how likely or realistic is that?
I didn't get to have much in way of choice when ex took children on short holiday recently.
I just phoned children one night and they were gone!
sy