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I Have been split up from my boyfriend of 5 years for about 3 months now. We have been seeing each other on and off during this 3 months because we still love each other and we have a mortgage together.
Last week i found out he met someone during this 3 month split on the internet and she is now claiming she is pregnant. They don't know each other and have only met twice.
since then i have also found out i'm pregnant. It is really hard for me as i should be looking after myself at the moment as i had a miscarriage a year ago. I should be enjoying the pregnancy but instead i'm hurt, upset and confussed.
i really do love this man and i feel i can get over the sleeping with someone whilst we had split up but i don't know if i can carry on knowing she is having his baby.
he really does not want anything to do with this other woman and wants my forgiveness so we can be together again. WHAT SHOULD I DO???? please all advise welcome. thanks
Hiya thanks for your advise 
no i'm to he has not seen any proof of this, he has only met her twice and she texted him with the news last week. I really am hoping its not true but can't help beleive it is. My ex thinks the dates don't add up with her even if she is but is he just in denial coz he doesn't want a child with her???? Its so hard to relax and forget about this and enjoy my pregnancy.
Hello shazza 29
Welcome to One Space. I merged your two posts as they were duplicated in two sections.
Everything is up in the air for you at the moment. With regard to the other woman, you do not know she is pregnant, and also you do not know it is your boyfriend's baby. It could well be that saying she is pregnant by him is a ploy, especially if he has decided he does not want to see her again. Have you asked him about what they did re contraception? Even if she IS pregnant, that does not tie your boyfriend to her, but he will have a responsibility to the child of course. You will have to wait and see what happens over the next few weeks but I would say that it s a shame if the future of YOUR relationship depends on HER pregnancy, if you wsee what I mean?
Congrats that you are pregnant! and you are right, it is important to look after yourself right now. Maybe you and your boyfriend would benefit from some help as your relationship goes forward. There will be a Relate near you or you could try The Couple Connection together online.
yes thanks, well with out going into to much details he said that protection was used twice and the third time he was inside but did not inject if thats the word inside. He has been as honest as he can and even told me things i just didn't want to hear. She already has a 8 year old and wanted more children when he has spoken to her on the dating wedsite. i just really don't know how to move on and enjoy my pregnancy i've longed for for over a year.
So it sounds unlikely (although not impossible) that she is pregnant.
This is going to sound a strange thing to say but would your feelings differ if you were NOT pregnant? what I mean is that even if this woman is pregnant, there is nothing to be jealous of because SO ARE YOU. You have suffered a miscarriage in the past and you need to take whatever medical advice you were given after that, to look after yourself this time. It is important that your boyfriend understands that you need to build trust between the two of you again.
As for "moving on" this will not happen overnight and there isn't a magical formula. I would think that talking about it with him constantly will not be helpful. Set aside a time to talk and then say to each other Ok now we will not talk about it for the rest of the day. The other alternative of course, if you REALLY think that you will never move on is to split up from this man entirely, which it seems to me you do not want. What you would really like is to erase all trace of this woman having ever existed, which sadly you can't do.
Relationships are not easy things, sometimes you have to accept that to make them work you have to learn to look at the bigger picture.
True!!!! I would love nothing more than to forgive and forget but don't think i'm strong enough and i keep taking it out on him even tho we was not together. i really like this wedsite as your comments really do help.
Hi shazza29
Louise is right, it will take time for the hurt to heal, please do look after you and your baby, rest as much as you can xxx
thanks tiredmum , I really am trying 
i do find that if i keep myself busy i don't think about all this. Its only when i'm on my own and resting i start thinking allsorts!!!!! I know i need to take care and i'll try
At least we managed to make you smile
Stay with us and we will all support you as and when you need us. What are your plans for today? xxx
well its my birthday today so i have all the family popping in and out all day and going for a family meal tonight. Only problem is i can't eat that the moment!!!!!! lol
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! 
Awwwh Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!
Hope you have a lovely day and evening, you deserve it xxx
Hi shazza29, welcome to One Space from me!
Happy Birthday! I hope that you have a lovely day, the sun is shining for you!
I am not surprised you are feeling hurt, upset and confused. Where is your ex in all of this? You say that he doesn't want anything to do with the other woman and if she isn't pregnant then fine, however if she is and it is his, she deserves support and maintenance from him. He can't bury his head in the sand by ignoring it and setting up family with you.
I feel that until he faces his responsibilities regarding this other woman and her unborn child, you just have to stay focussed on you and your baby, he has to come to his own conclusions about this as in reality it isn't your business, it is between him and her.
You say that you have been split with your boyfriend for 3 months, are you now back together?
Do you live in the house that you joint own or does he?
You say that you love each other, may I ask why you split up in the first place?
Eurgh, Sorry..... so many questions! Don't need to think about them today, today is about enjoying you and your family, have a good one!
I look forward to hearing back from you :)
I hope you enjoy your birthday
Happy Birthday for yesterday Shazza, and welcome along to One Space. Take care, and I look forward to getting to know you. xx
Hi shazza29
Welcome to one space, it is a great site where you will recieve lots of support and good advice.
It must be so difficult for you to take all of this in, splitting up with your partner, seeing each other on and off and now finding out that he did see someone a couple of times during your time apart.
You really do need to look after yourself being pregnant please try to do that, not easy at the moment I know xxx
The other girl might or might not be pregnant, has your partner seen any proof of this?
You say you do love him and can move forward knowing he slept with someone else, he says he doesnt want anything to do with the other girl that might be difficult if she is pregnant but if you both want to be together then I would give it your best shot, life is too short to regret not having tried to make it work. It is though only my opinion and it is for you to decide what is best for you and your baby.
I do hope you will keep posting, others will be along today to welcome and support you xxx