This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
What happens at one of these places?
Thanks
Also before first contact takes place you get to go see the centre and make them aware of any concerns you may/may not have and you can set some ground rules such as parent not to ask child about your current partner/whereabouts, no photos, no additional family members to attend contact etc. I found this really reassuring.
it isnt safety that i am concerned about just heard that they are skanky places full of smack heads etc.
Just so long as that smart bottomed SW isnt there i will be fine.
Someone told me it is for my children wanting to see me.
All because of the ex and her lies but the tables are turning on her now (what goes around comes around) i beleive the saying is.:)
Thanks
Aw Pash, sorry about your current situation, hope it all turns out well in the end. contact centres run by social services are a little different to the one I described. Contact is done in private rooms with a contact worker observing more closely and they do tend to take notes in front of you. Your SW may or may not sit in on contact depending on how your case is going. I have not had personal experience of being in a SS run contact centre but I did used to work for them and have observed contacts. There will be toys and things put out for the children and you will be encouraged to interract fully with the children (getting down on the floor with them, running around etc.) It can be quite unnerving to begin with having someone watching you so close but my advise would just be to try and ignore them and focus on your children.
You wont have contact with other families that are there (in my experience) so dont worry too much about who else is there. Good luck with it and just try to enjoy the time with your children x big hugs x
Hi Pash. Do you know yet when your first visit will be? I guess the first time will be a little nerve-wracking for you, but just concentrate on the children, and I'm sure you'll be fine. How old are the children? When was the last time that you saw them?
one is 5 and the other is 13 The Sw and i do NOT GET ON she use's me to get info and i have told her to go away in the past along with a few choice words now i will not answer the phone to them at all and told them all comunication is to be done in writing.
last time i spoke to them was FEB.
It feels like i am being treated like something you wipe off your shoes by the SS and the Ex but i will NOT bow down to the SW and they dont like it
Why are these visits not at weekends? i disagree with after school visits due to work and the children being tired after school.
I too think it is ridiculous they dont do them on weekends, I think it is because they dont want to pay staff to work weekends.
I know this is a very stressful time but I would strongly recommend that if your SW is present on contact that you do not engage in any negative communication with them in front of the children. However justified you may feel at the time it will be seen negatively, so just focus on the children and save any comments for the SW for a time when the children are not there.
Unfortunately not having a good relationship with the SW is gonna make this whole situation more stressful and I know it isnt easy to change a SW, so I think you just have to try and keep your communication with the SW to just the issues that need to be raised about the children. If you have real concerns about how the SW is treating you then perhaps get a solicitor if you havent got one (?) and ask them to forward your concerns to the department.
I have got a solictor and these things will be sorted out soon just the SW thinks she is such a smart bottom!! but my polls prove otherwise:)
Hi, again Pash,
My little girl had supervised contact with her dad for 6 months in a contact centre (I assume this is the kind of centre you mean?). The one we went to was reasonably nice, had an outside play area and lots of toys inside.
I had had concerns about my safety when I first went there but was really pleased that they had seperate entrances for me and the ex and also a private room for me to sit in and wait whilst contact took place with daughter and her dad. As there was a history of violence the centre would delay me ex's leaving time by 15 minutes so I had a 15 minute head start to get away from ex.
The staff there didnt intervene in contact but they observed (from a distance) how children and parent interracted and they took note. If anything inappropriate was said or done (in my case ex trying to ask little one for home address) the staff would discreetly intervene by wndering over and saying something like "have you been in the sand pit yet?.
The centre I went to was manned by volunteers but they were very friendly. There will also be lots of other children there having contact with a family member too, my daughter made a few friends. The best way to describe it is like an after school club in which parents hang out with their children. Hope this helps?