Hello all, advice needed!..am going to court in 3weeks time for contact directions hearing. Wife refusing me contact with my 3months old son.she also took a no notice non molestation order against me after we separated 2months ago,son not named in the non mol. Order..question is.. I would be asking the judge to make an order for regular but short contact since son stil very young..say 3-4 days a week for an hour and half each day pending when he is much older when i can ask for maybe few days with longer hours..has anybody idea/experience on how much time/contact sought and or approved by the courts for such a young child?..many thanks
Many thanks louise, just to let you know am self rep. LIP. Are there cases of such young children and what sort of contact order was made by the courts?
There is no overall rule of thumb, emos. Each case is looked at individually. All I can tell you is that I agree that little and often would be great where your son is concerned. Obviously practical considerations will be taken into consideration as well...for example if a parent lived 500 miles from their child then little and often would not work, however young the child. You also need to think about the non-molestation order, in that it means you can't just pop into your son's house, where his mum is, without prior arrangement. Before you go to court, think about the best way to make your parenting time work...is there a family friend who could supervise handovers for example? Where are you planning to spend the time with your son?
many thanks again Louise, my son lives with the mum about 2 and half miles from mine. i have also made enquiries and enrolled in parenting sessions with surestart linwood round my area. they offer different sessions throught out the week for parents and their children and i liked 3 of those sesssions as they relate to 0-1yr babies. there are usually health visitors and staff at hand to help with any difficulties..this is where i do hope and plan to be spending little but often contact with my son. at first i thought of applying to have the non-molestation order discharged as most of the allegations were false and i ve got proofs. then i said if wife dont want me to contact her direct or visit our matrimonial home then lets have it her way...so am adhering to to order at the moment and i do not intend to breach it. but should her solicitors decide to wave it during the contact hearing then i would simply show the court my proofs. honestly louise am more interested in my son and his welfare then a long civil battle with the mum.we both have family friends who could supervise handovers. but if she's so terrified of me as she alleged then i would suggest to the courts that we have the handovers in a police station inside or in the car parks.
Hope things work out for you mate. I am going through the same thing and i am off to court. One thing i will suggest is keep hold of every receipt for everything you purchase for your son. And also if you take him places like a playplace ask for a receipt. This proves that you are financially supporting your own child, that you are taking him places and not just sitting in a house. Obviously he is too young at the moment but once he hits the grand old age of 1 the sort of places you will be thinking of taking him is swimming baths and playplaces, farms, etc. Just keep hold of all the proof because you do not want to give her any reason to doubt you as a father. Goodluck!
NOTE FROM MODERATOR, THIS POST, ALSO BY EMOS OKAS, HAVE BEEN MOVED HERE
Hello all, am writing my position statement (contact) using the template from the custody minefield. Can anybody help me with goes into the paragragh that says MY CONCERNS? if possible with examples..thanks
Hi again emos, I have amalgamated your two posts.
The form you are filling in: if you feel you need adivce then you need to consult a lawyer, even though you are representing yourself. You can find a family lawyer here You may also find this Dad's website interesting and helpful.
Thanks
Hello emos okas
Your solicitor will be able to give you the best guidance about this.
My own take on it from a parenting point of view is that "little and often" is a good idea for such a young child. Once your son is two or three, he may enjoy longer outings and be quite comfortable with more time away from his main caregiver (in this case his mum).
It's very important that you adhere to the non-molestation order and that things are conducted civilly with your son's mum. See what your legal adviser says, and good luck with it all!