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Hi,
Got a temporary contact order for dad to see dd for 6 hours on 3 Saturday's out of every 4. Contact order been in place since August. Dad has been unreliable and inconsistent, cancelling a lot of visits 30 mins before he is due. Last Saturday dad actually turned up 10 mins early, I said are you dropping her off at 5pm? he said yes. Dad turned up at my door at 4.10pm without any text or call to warn me of early return - good job I was in. He came into my flat and sat down and had a chat he said they had had a nice afternoon and been to cafe and toy shop. He left at 4.30pm. Later that evening dd was getting worked up and cross and refusing to go to bed, I said calmly tell me if you are sad or upset about today? She said she had been left most of the day with dad's ex-girlfriend playing computer games and dad didn't collect her as he promised but ex-gf took her on bus to meet dad in town. Dd was very upset and said she didn't want to see her dad anymore. She has since repeated that she doesn't want to see him. I suppose I will have to get solicitor's advice but as we have a contact order I cannot refuse contact can I? Would you tell dad what dd has said and hope he agrees not to see her, or would you make her available for contact and hope she says it herself and he goes away?
Was wondering if someone in similar position could tell me what happened in their case please. We have a hearing booked for Jan at Family court. August was supposed to be final hearing but Dad didn't provide his medical report so another hearing had to be booked. Dad has emotionally unstable personality disorder.
Louise, thank you - yes I think I will be able to speak to him like that - I was getting stressed but this is a good idea. I expect the ex-gf is pressurising him to see my dd, she is a difficult person to put it politely.
Have had a chat with dd's dad, he denies leaving dd with his ex-gf but says they did meet her whilst in town, I have suggested they go somewhere where they are not going to see the ex-gf, i.e. another local town, as dd is getting very upset at seeing her however briefly. Will see how things go.
Good luck, english rose
Hi,
I would'nt let him haave contact if he was making my child upset,its not fair on them.yes it is proberly in the court order but if u refuse and let him know he will not be having her he will proberly complain and go to his solisitor but then you can bring up the situation that your daughter went threw and that there is a reason for not letting him have contact.The whole idea of him having contact is to spend time with him not be pawned off wth someone else.feel so sad for her..or you could always wait until the court hearing you have but that's if yor willing to wait and bring it up then,it will proberly worry you where your child will be left nxt time and if shes alright,it would worry me.you wont get in troube for going against the court order because you have a perfectly good explanation why...good luck.xzoe
p.s sorry my avitar is naked,dont know why it is.im new and not got the hang of it yet,yesterday i had man pecks!lolx
Hi zlenthall, go to www.doppelme.com/signin/ sign in, then you can put some clothes on!
Hi englishrose, how did your ex respond to your suggestion?
Hello Anna,
Since I wrote the post above DD's Dad was in hospital having collapsed so I took dd to see him for a short visit once he was on the ward. Dad's been recovering at home since last Thursday so last Saturday he agreed to a visit to another town (to avoid the ex-gf) and with me present in case he felt ill. He was able to accept this as a sensible precaution. DD said she enjoyed her afternoon. Hoping that things will remain amicable.
Yes let's hope so, English Rose
Hope you and DD have a lovely Christmas 
Hi englishrose, I hope you had a good yuletide? 
How did it go with DD's Dad?
Hello, contact has been going well with me present. Court hearing in Jan was adjourned until April. Dd's (dear daughter's) dad has a lump on the lung and court agreed to postpone hearing until medical tests were performed, however dd's dad phoned me on the day he was supposed to have a biopsy to say they did not perform a biopsy, they are waiting for four months to see if the lump grows, it is 8.5mm. So we will not know anymore in April than we knew in January. :(
That sounds really nasty and worrying for him, but nevertheless I am glad to hear that things have settled down with regard to contact.
Hello english rose
First of all, write down what has happened just so you can remember for the court hearing.
Next, I do think you should speak to dad but in the sprit of "dd was upset that she was left with gf last time, she looks forward to seeing you and she needs to have quality time with you. If this is not happening then you are not keeping to the terms of the contact agreement and in any case, dd will stop wanting to come. Are you able to spend one to one time with her?" and if he says yes then you need to say that if he goes back on his word it will be very damaging to his relationship with his daughter. But I think you should be encouraging dd to keep going and if she feels confident enough she could mention it to her dad but you can say that you have told dad yourself. STAY CALM in all your dealings.
How does that sound?