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its hard word!
i remember when i was 16 my life was one long social event but its very different with my 16 yr old daughter.
her mood swings are hurendous(sp) she can go from happy to crying in a split second and she has low self esteem due to a fast weight gain (shes not big, a size 12) and acne. we have been to the doctors who has been great and is keen to help but getting my daughter there is sometimes a problem. i think she needs counselling but she wont entertain that!
she didnt know her real dad until she was 14 and things havent been great there so she holds allot of resentment but we've always had a happy home with lots of love and a great extended family. the past yr hasnt been great though me and my 11 yr old son are walking on egg shells!
i just despair and have no idea what to do.
Hi cazpb. Lots of hormones running through your daughter too, which can't be helping the mood swings. I don't have a teenager, my son is 8, but I'm dreading them already, hehe. Is your daughter seeing her Dad now she's met him? Like Sparkling says, please keep posting, there are others here who do have teenagers, so will be able to give you some tips. Take care
Hello cazpb
Sounds like a normal 16 year old girl, because they ARE a handful! I know what you mean about walking on eggshells. Sparkling's idea about an interest/hobby is a good one but sometimes they are not easy to motivate I know.
I know she says she will not entertain counselling, that might be because she thinks that implies there is a "problem" with her....but Relateen offer a fab service, you could say it is just to talk to someone outside the family, rather than counselling.
It must be hard for you if she is different from you when you were that age, here is the best book I have found for helping understand teenagers, I use it a great deal 
and the second hand copies are very cheap!
Hi cazpb - I have a 16 year old daughter too and oh my can it be draining. My daughter can get quite teary. I have noticed that most of the time it is due to tiredness.
What sometimes helps is spending some quality time with her too. You mention that you and your son feel like you are treading on eggshells, does she feel that you two are more bonded than you and she?
I think finding an activity that just you and she could do would be great, she needs to feel important, loved and worthwhile. It sounds as though her dad is not offering that, which is so painful.
I wonder if you could do an activity together, where you are not mum. I mean something where you are in the same boat, either a manicure, or learning a new language.
Have you heard of PGL, they offer some discounts on some of their holidays, I went with my daughter last year. She loved the fact that she was better than me at some things - although I still beat her up the climbing wall!!
You mention you have a lot of extended family around, is it a possibility for your son to visit them and you have a mum/daughter afternoon/evening once a week?
Maybe you and i should go for a manicure and leave our daughters together to talk about their hellish hormones! It's an emotional rollercoaster having a 16year old daughter. I've got one that keeps buying clothes that i have just bought! I feel that not only is she taking all of my energy but now she's trying to take my identitiy! I only hope i have something left at the end of it all. Mood swings are horrendous, tears, slamming doors and the drama of it all is so draining. And of course nothing is ever their fault.
I would recommend counselling if you can get her to go. A bit of self awareness now will really help her in the long run and will also provide some respite for you. My daughter goes and it seems to help.
At the end of the day try to remember that this phase won't last too long. I'm trying to get my daughter to take a job and get involved in volunteering. I think it's really important that they understand that the world doesn't just revolve around them and that there are people out there less fortunate, giving something back to the community is important in becoming a mature, aware and caring citizen.
Good luck with your daughter. We all need support and to know that we are not alone. Thanks for posting.
Hi Rachel33, thanks for your post and I will take you up on the manicure!!
My daughter has been looking for work and it is so hard to find, volunteering is definitely the way forward. My girl has been volunteering on a Youth Camp, which has been 3 weeks over the summer (woo hoo!). She is now very interested in doing more youth work as a qualification.
Who knows what is around the corner?!
Hi cazpb
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your daughter. At her age I was busy swimming, so was always in the pool or training. My hair was like straw and my skin was dry, but I lived for it...
Does she have a hobby that she could perhaps focus on? Cycling maybe? Is there one that you could all do together? I used to cycle with my lot when they were younger (I'm disabled now), but we are lucky with the cycle paths around here.
I understand that trying to get her out is going to be hard, but perhaps once your out she'll start to enjoy it (Its a nightmare trying to get my lot to do things now).
Is there anyone in the extended family who she's close to, who would be willing to help you here?
My daughter, especially, gets angry towards their father, but all I can do is tell her that life is full of choices, and we can't make people choose what we want them to do.
Sending a load of strength your way.
I'm now battling with my lot to get them out of the house to join in with the local carnival...
My very best wishes.
Please do keep posting, as this board really is great company.