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hi i am new to this. Its the first time i have ever joined a forum so hello to u all lol. I looking just for anyones advice really and where i can get support, so here is my story. I am 24 years old and split with me ex about 2 months ago, we were together for 3 years. we have a beautiful son who is nearly 11 months. All through the relationship was hard, as i could never trust her, she was always lying, and i could never do enough for her or please her. Anyway i found out she cheated on me while we had our son so this was the final straw for me. We both agreed that i would care for our son beacause she never looked after him much, but she later changed her mind and we had shared custody, which didnt work. So now i have nearly full custody until the next court hearing. I loved my ex very much, and miss being with her as i was so used to it, but since we split she has made my life very very hard, and almost like hell. I love my son to bits, but i am scared of how i will cope, so far i have done well but its all starting to hit me. I am not getting my childs benifits at the moment, and i dont work, and i am living with my parents in a crowded house and in a small room. I have some friends but feel i cant see them much now cos have my son all the time, and not sure if they would like it. My point is that i feel lonley, and missing the things i had. I also feel depressed alot but to worried to get help as might lose my son. Just want to be happy for my sons sake so any help or advice would be great. Thank u also for taking the time to read my problems :-)
Hi lloyd1986
Great to see you here.
It must all be pretty overwhelming at the moment with things being difficult, but with babysteps, you will get there - hard to see in the early stages though.
When is the next Court hearing? Until the child benefits are sorted, it can be difficult to get the benefits you're entitled to as a lone parent. Have you applied for the child benefit to be in your name? Is your ex agreeing to this?
Once residence is sorted, I'm guessing things will be easier to sort. So hard when you can't be quite certain of the situation.
You will cope. I think we all feel we can't, but we do. As your son gets older, things somehow become easier and more fun. He's at a lovely age now! It's good that you can see that you are doing well though.
If you feel depressed do go and see your GP. Being depressed is not seen as a problem nowadays and will not affect things with your son.
How well do you get on with your parents? Would they be willing to babysit the odd evening for you to have a couple of hours with your friends?
Sorry to be asking so many questions.
This really is a great site, and hopefully can provide a bit of company in the evenings.
Hi lloyd1986. Welcome along to One Space. Living with your parents in a crowded house cannot be easy. Is there anyway they could sit for your son so you can have time with your friends once in a while? I'm sure they understand how hard it is for you. A chat with your GP will also help, explain how you are feeling etc. Being depressed will not affect anything. It is hard being a single parent, but it's also extremely rewarding. When is the court date? I hope you stay with us, as it's a warm friendly group, and we will all offer you our support.
What are your plans for today?
Hello lloyd1986
You are very welcome here 
Sounds like it is all getting on top of you right now. Sparkling lime has given you some really good information above. You are in a place where you haven't got the freedom your mates might have because of your son but on the other hand wanting to be a great dad
I understand what you mean about being worried about getting help in case it reflects badly on you as a parent. It won't. The child benefit needs sorting as a PRIORITY as then it will give you access to other money such as Income Support and Child Tax Credit. Once the residence issue is sorted, you can also apply to your local council to be on the list for housing as it becomes avaialable......might be a while coming but the sooner you get your name down the better.
Socially, the babysitting idea is good (above) but you can also explore things you can do with your son in the daytime, such as toddler groups. Your Health Visitor will know about these (get in touch with your GP surgery and they will give you the contact details for the Health Visitor) I can imagine you might be a bit nervous going to a group the first time, it is Ok to take someone with you, whether relative or friend.....but I am telling you that you will be the star attraction there and the mums will very soon make friends with you, this is good as it means you have other young parents to talk to and your son will be mixing with others of a similar age.
I have found a couple of links for you, one is to a local Children's Centre, they have all sorts of activities, give them a ring. Ther other is an online support services for Dads at home, which you may find interesting.
I know you are missing your boy's mum. If this feeling goes on then it might be worth having a chat with a counsellor (again through GP) or contacting Relate.
There is a big distinction between being a good parent and being a partner to someone and it is hard to see that when you first split up.I am hoping that your family are being supportive to you as well.
Anyway you are in touch with us now, someone is on here EVERY DAY with support and friendly chat. We tend to share our day to day things in the CHAT section, so whether you want to have a moan about the sleepless night you have had or to tell us what you are doing with your little son, that is a good place to do it.
Thank u all so much for all your comments and advice. You are such nice people, and i am glad that i registeard to this site. I got on to the benifits today and applied for them, as can not finacially cope, so that was a good start. My next court hearing is on the 13th of may, cant wait till its all over.
That's great that you did that today, well done, do have a look at some of the links we have given you when you get chance. Has it been a good day today?
yeah i will check those links, thanks louise. I had ok day, just had taken my son for a walk and to the park. hows ur day been
thanks tiredmum xxx
You are very welcome xxx If you would like to please do join us in the chat part of the site which it towards the bottome of the page, we tend to have a chat about our day etc there, its not instant chat but there is always someone around
Hi Lloyd1986
I was just rereading your first message and wondering how you are today? The space you find yourself is not uncommon I'm afraid, although 90% of the time it is a woman left holding evrything together along with the baby.
You will find your way through this, we are here to support you and then in the long run, you will be able to give us helpful links and tips so that we can continue to support others!
If you feel like sharing more of your story, please go to Your Story, you will have an interesting story to tell as you are a young man yourself and obviously been through some very difficult times. People find it very therapeutic to write it all out too. Would you be interested??
Hi Lloyd1986.
I'm a single dad too, it's been five and a half years now, the worst bit was in the begining, but it settles down over time.
Hi anyway : )
Friends come and go and life moves on and you make new friends around where every you are in life, what you do, stuff like that. Are there any local single parants groups, organisations like Bernardos, things like that. they usualy have stuff going on, from my experience mostly things involving groups of women, not a bad thing in itself, just not many single dads... as we are a rare and special breed, but I've made a few friends like that.
The older your kids, or kid gets the less all the old things in your life become important, and you get new things : )
New things, new friends and you look back and think everythings OK now.
Even when it might not have seemed so at the time.
Thats me anyway : )
Do still get periods of listlessness, feeling down, stressing about things, but I think that's probably just life.
Later
:)
Hello Lloyd
How are you doing, i to am a single father of three wonderful children who i have full custody of.
It was extremely hard at first with money, debt, emotions, pain, anger, courts and constent rowing.
But you just got to take each day as it comes m8 and there is light at the end of the tunnel believe me i am seeing it now.
Any thing you want to ask or just a general moan or a pick me up just leave a note and get back to you.
Stuart.
Hi lloyd1986 welcome to one space, this site is great xxx