Court In 10 Days!

Hi all,

I am off to court in 10 days to attempt to get some decent contact with my lad. You have probably read a couple of my posts on here but here is a general break down of what has gone on the last year between me and my ex. We split up in July last year. I had 2 x week long contact with my lad before i went to the Falklands. During this contact i took him from South Wales to Liverpool. I am currently in the RAF and based in Yorkshire. I came home in December and she pushed for me to have my son all over christmas claiming that he was bored of her, that she was working and that there should be no reason for me to have my son as i was a good dad and that i was his father. I didnt really think it was a good idea me having him for such a long period immediately after coming home for the Falklands for 4 months but in the end i had him from 16th Dec right through until Jan 1st. She had wanted me to take him home on christmas eve then pick him up early on boxing day but i had argued that A would have had to spend 2 long days on the road travelling between Liverpool and South Wales and it also would have cost me £120 of which she did not volunteer to contribute. So in the end i had him for christmas day also! He went back on 1st January then next time i saw him was 23rd January and i had him for 9 nights and again i till him to Liverpool until 1st February. Now the ex who i will call T had told me in December that she would contact the CSA and tell them i had A on average 2 nights a week so i could get a reduction in maintenance. On 1st Feb the day A was due to go home i tried to contact T to sort out the next contact dates and to ask about the CSA. she told me she was unsure when i could see A next and that she had forgotten to ring CSA. I told her to stop messing me around and that i wanted something on paper.

Well anyway a week later i gets a solicitors letter through the post stating that contact would now stop until i agreed to her terms which was that from now i could only see A for a maximum of 4 nights a month. I was also to not contact her and to only contact her in an emergency. So i instructs a solicitor to respond and i originally asked for 3 lots of 3 nights a month and for 12 nights contact when i take leave from the RAF which would happen once ever 3 months. I would stay in South Wales during the 3 nights contact and take A to Liverpool to see my family during the 12 nights contact. She replied that no 4 nights was her terms. So i tried to negotiate by dropping my request to 2 x 3 nights contact and a minimum of 7 nights contact during holidays. She still said no and claimed 4 nights a month even during holidays was in A's best interest. Now i understand it is good for A to get into as routine but at the moment he is 2 and not started school yet. And i also understand that when A starts school it would be weekend access only and then i could have him during school holidays. Now she is still adamant that i can only have him for 4 nights. Bearing in mind i had not seen him for all of february i instructed my solicitor to agree to interim comtact of 4 nights a month until things went to mediation. So in the mean time i have seen A for 4 nights in March. Now for some reason she allowed me to have 6 nights contact during April (2 nights during bank holiday weekend when it suited her and for 4 nights during my holiday). I received a letter stating that she would be going to mediation but then when i instructed my solicitor to organise a mediation session T did not turn up and i got the form which then allowed me to make an application to ourt for a contact order. And that is where we are at at the moment. I am off in 10 days.

Also on top of her restricting my access to 4 nights a month she does not communicate with me. I recently posted another article last week about my son fracturing his leg and that is a classic example. She doesnt tell me nothing about my lad and sincei  have dropped him off last week with a cast on his leg she has not contacted me to let me know how he is or anything. Hopefully this lack of communication is something that the court will sort out.

As i am in the RAF you can understand my job means that i need a flexible contact order. Obviously i want to see my son as much as i can but i need the ability to be able to say to T, look i am on guard this week or maybe they will send me on a course, can i shift my contact with A a week forward or a week later. Also there is the travelling distance. I have recently asked to be posted to Oxford from Yorkshire and i was granted it so now i will only be 100 miles from son rather than 300. A bonus!

Do you think it is reasonable that i am asking for 6 nights a month contact bearing in mind i do not live in the local area of my son hence i cannot see my son every week and therefore contact needs to be extended to allow extra time with him. Also is she being unreasonable to expect me to only have him for 4 nights a month where i take holidays. She has basically said i can have him for 4 nights and i can take them all in one go during my holidays. Seems a bit bizarre to me! Surely i should be able to have him for at least a week at easter, 2 weeks in the summer and a week at christmas in line with school holidays and then maybe another week elsewhere.

Advice about my situation or advice for how to conduct myself in court would be appreciated thanks