The court

Hi

I am Michelle, I am 25. I am a mum to my gorgeous 22 months old boy. 

I have an issue with his father,

The issue started at the day when i found out i am pregnant, then i heard words from his mouth : GO AND GET RID OF IT, BECAUSE I CANT HAVE A BABY, IVE GOT SCHOOL AND WORK TO DO.

i decided to do on my own, but i also hoped that he will want to be a dad, he never got in touch for the first 4 months of my pregnancy, but i didi try to talk to him, either on the phone or msn, he never wanted to listen to me.

then when i reached 16 weeks of my pregnancy, i received call from him saying that his mum wants to talk to me ( i was a bit stupid believing in that, as he is nigerian and his mother lives in nigeria), i took the call from his "mother", on the phone was tottally british person with perfect accent, telling me to stop contacting him, telling me am sl*t,a nd i should go and loook for the real daddy and leave her "son" alone.

I said, ok i will do, but i dont want him to ever contact me again.

Time has passed, i reached 33 weeks, he started calling, i decided to tell him, that the baby isnt his, so he could leave me alone, he did.

I was pregnant for 40 weeks +9 days. it was very difficuolt for me to do anything, as i dont have family over here, so i was all on my own, and during this 40+ weeks i had to move twice. never mind that. I did it.

so while in labour i had to have mini cab to drive me to the hospital ( back and forth), baby was born at 1.30 am with low O2 in his blood and cold hands and feet. 

The "DADDY" never called or came to the hospital - was kinda of ok with it, 

after 2 days in hospital got discharged, and went home again by min cab ( funny enough my son's father have a car). 

Week after he contacted me again, with DNA tests. I decided to do it, it came out 100% he is the father. I said so, if u are daddy u need to step up, and help me out, i asked him to get a buggy for my lil one. it took him more than 4 months to buy it. ( in the mean time he throw himself a big birthday bash, and he got himself £pounds worth shoes from Loius Voutoiun. then car.) But still no sign of the buggy, h wassaying that he doesnt have money, because he doesnt work.

I applied for CS, but the agent said ( after 3 weeks of waiting) that person under this name doesnt exist. 

In the mean time, teh all situation started, he was coming to my house and begging me on his knees to put him on the birth certificate, i never did,

He have never supported me, even though, i asked him to borrow me 20 pounds to buy gas, he said no.

I decided to stop him from coming...

i didnt want to be bi*ch to his family, so i kept in touch with them, but after all i found out that, they are not better than him, they were just talking a lot, promising.

Now, more than a year after, my sons father decided to take me to court  to TAKE THE FULL CUSTODY of my son, saying that I AM UNFIT MOTHER. 

I was shocked, after all, nearly 2 years of myself struggling and trying to be the best mother i can be, i got this huge blow in my face.!

I went to court, luckly the judge said that it is impossible for father to get the baby, because simply A ( my son) was with me for all his life,and there is no evidence of me being unfit (i'm not on drugs, not drinking, and havent been out myself for the past 2,5 years).

I thought that would b over, but no, its not. Just before the Royal Weddinghe , i got the letter from Caffcass, and i am expecting another court hearing anytime soon, the worst thing is that, my sister is getting married in 2 weeks, and i cant even go to the wedding because i have been banned from leaving England.

I am so in pieces, i dont even know what to expect on the 2nd hearing. I know that suppose to be visitation thing, but i dont trust my LO's father and i wont let him come to my house, or let him take my lil man with im for the weekend.

Is there any way that i can stop him from seeing my lil one? i dont want to see him, taking my little one, i am just scared that, he will take him away from me, and we all know that, once he will take him, and go abroad, i may never see my son again,

I need to know, things like:

^ do i need to get a lawyer? (i'm kinda of good in talking, and ive been researching alot, and unfortunetly the place where i live - London- its very hard to get a good lawyer, for free). if yes, can i have any list of good lawyers, that can do that for me for free (legal aid, and eventually court hearing as well).

^is there any way of stoping my lil one's father from having h im for the weekends, and taking him for holidays abroad. 

^how to prove to the court, that he is working, but he lied to the CSA people that he doesnt , and now i'm getting £5 a week worth CS.

^ if social services will be sent to my house, do they have right to speak to my neighbours? i'm asking that  because, my neighbours aren't the best people in the world, and because, we had an argument few months back, i know they might chat rubbish...

Please please,  i know its a long story to read, but if anyone out there been in similar situation, i would like to hear their story, and advice as well, or even though any advice! i dont really know what to do, i dont really want to lose right to my son.

 

Thanks you in advance!!!

Michelle