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I am a single mum of a 10 year old boy and I have chronic health problems. We have moved 4 times in 3 years due to Housing Benefit never paying the entire rental amount and the private landlords asking us to leave due to the discrepancy. I just arrived at our new flat in Scotland, having moved from the South of England, and within 3 weeks of moving in, under my maiden name, the courts had issued me with an enforcement order for a speeding fine and for failing to appear in court in Dorset just a fortnight before the order was posted. I was suffering health issues and lack of money to get to the South of England and had no-one to look after my son while I travelled a 1000 mile round trip just to appear in court. The thing that I find staggering, is that the Child Support Agency have failed miserably to find my ex husband in England and bring him to justice in the 3 YEARS they have had to do so, whilst a Magistrate's Court can locate me within 3 WEEKS under a different name, when I have not even had time to register for council tax or housing benefit. HOW DO THEY DO THAT ???!!! I had not registered my new address with anyone apart from with my GP and my bank.
The fact is that myself and my child have been reduced to poverty due entirely to the Child Support Agency's lack of power to force my son's father to pay child maintenance which is what reduced me to such poverty that I was unable to pay the original fine. The courts and the CSA are both government institutions. WHY do the CSA not have the same miraculous powers to search and locate as the magistrates' courts do ? I would like to lobby for the government to give the same powers to the CSA as they do to Magistrate's Courts for enforcing minor traffic offences. Anyone who would like to support me in this aim, let me know.
Thanks, but I am actually way past the point of frustration. I can barely function and suffer from chronic fatigue now. Just washing the dishes this morning, on a beautiful sunny day which I would have loved to be out walking in the countryside, has depleted my energy reserves and I will have to simply lie on the couch gazing regretfully out at the blue sky. My son is going to have to find something to do by himself. Poor boy. No father to take him out, and I am completely 'washed up'. If I am to pull myself out of this, I need help medically and support for attending to all the overwhelming tasks I have to attend to. It's hilarious that I have to 'find work' as well as run a small home, help my son with his homework, do housework, when I suffer from a chronic health problem coupled with the emotional devastation of what we have endured.
Have you had chance to see your new doctor yet? The first thing to do is to look at your eligibility for Employment Support Allowance if you are not already receiving this. I presume you have at some stage applied for Disability Living Allowance; it is a notoriously difficult benefit to be granted so I don't know if you had any luck there, I know very lttle about chronic fatigue but am thinking that depression may well be part of it, are you getting some medical support for your symptoms and if not, then can you visit the doctor and get this in motion?
Sorry, not just chronic fatigue. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis which is the cause of the debilitating fatigue. I have had it since my son was born and it has gradually worsened over the past 10 years. It flares up badly when I am under stress, and moving home leaves me almost paralysed. The thing with the speeding fine has caused me so much distress that my RA has flared up very badly. Disability Living Allowance does not cover this condition. I have a six monthly appointment with my RA Specialist in a week's time. I also have blood tests every 3 months due to the potential side effects of the medication. Until my appointment, I have to rest until I get my energy levels back. RA is notoriously difficult to diagnose when it is seronegative like mine. The experts have problems defining the reasons for the associated fatigue, which is well documented. I could never hold down a full time job again, especially if it involves much walking or standing, yet I am unable to get disability benefits and/or the extra help I desperately need. It makes me feel suicidal, except for the fact that I would never leave my son alone in the world while he is still young. I am all he has.
I am not surprised you feel so dreadul, stuck between a rock and a hard place, andthanks for sharing the info about your condition, helps us to understand more what you are going through. To a layperson like me, there seems to be a lot more publicity around osteo-arthritis.
I am also not surprised to hear that DLA does not cover the condition, as so many people who are clearly in great pain and difficulties have so much trouble getting this benefit. Good luck with your forthcoming appointment. It sounds like the speeding fine was absolutely the last straw. It is amazing that our love for our children is the one thing that can keep us from going under in the direst of circumstances.
I know we can't make it better but I do hope the support and concern we can provide here will go a little way towards you feeling less alone with all that you have to carry,
Thanks for your caring suggestions. I have just completed an employment support form which I will take with to my appointment. I was recently diagnosed by my RA specialist as having developed osteo arthritis too, which is causing my finger joints to swell up, along with bones in my feet. If I could not drive, I don't know how I would cope. There should be advocates for single mums like myself with chronic health problems, who find daily life a hard enough mountain to climb without the Police and the Courts issuing petty fines for minor offences, which if not paid can result in arrest and a criminal record. There are much more important matters to focus on, like fathers ducking out of child support. When the British Energy Secretary has to step down from office for being put in the position of losing his licence for going over a temporary 30mph limit if he does not tell a lie to stop it happening, then Britain has gone completely and utterly mad ! This nation has turned into a police state.
BTW, my mum does not get attendance allowance. My brother, who has lived in the USA for 15 years, has her Power of Attorney and I am therefore prevented from helping her to get all the help she needs. My brother does not give her any help in this regard. Would my mum have to 'attend' a hospital or a clinic in order to get the attendance allowance ?
That's positive about the employment support form. 
Attendance allowance, the "attendance" spoken about in the title really refers to whether she needs care on a day to day basis. it is a benefit paid for those over 65. Often a health professional will help complete the forms. Read more about it here The link I have posted is to the Age Uk benefit information page, They have a wealth of interesting information including regarding dementia here
Anyway, back to you. How are you feeling today? Is your boy back at school after half term?
Hi Louise, Scottish schools went back last Wednesday. We only got Fri, Mon and Tue off. This morning was very wet and windy, so I drove Connor to school, but every other parent had the same idea and the traffic was backed up for a mile ! He would have been quicker walking, but Connor is a South African boy and would be horrified at having to walk to school in bad weather ! I started off fine this morning, but sadly, after only half an hour, I feel the fatigue deep in my muscles and I now know that I can do very little before I completely run out of steam. For instance, I need to look through boxes for my computer cables. That will be all I can manage, and I may run out of energy before finding them. It terrifies me that I might not pass a 'fit for work' test as they cannot prove my condition.
Yes that is very scary! See what your specialist says, glad you have not long to wait. Have you lived in South Africa in past then?
I have been to the dentist this morning 
Hi lizandconnor
I'm so sorry you're in such pain.
I have OA and do get DLA. I didn't claim though until I could write down the condition. It is based on your mobility and health though, and the condtion doesn't necessarily mean you can't qualify. As you do, I rely on my car, and DLA means I can now afford the payments AND use it. It is a car I had on HP.
I have just been awarded DLA indefinitely and that was after the occupational therapist who assessed me for a walk-in-shower wrote a report for me. It doesn't have to be a GP, but a health professional.
The help I've had from Social Services has been wonderful. I do not know if things are different though in Scotland compared to England and Wales (I live in Wales).
Have you applied? Or just felt you wouldn't quallify?
I do hope you're able to see your GP soon and have some support with this.
Meanwhile, hello
Hi lizandconnor and welcome to One Space
I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from multiple health conditions, it can be really difficult as you have already said to get the help you need. Have you contacted our CSA expert (click) as Louise has suggested? I have put a link here to One Parent Families Scotland as they have a range of services as well as a helpline for lone parents were you can get help and support on a variety of issues. How does your son cope with your health issues?
Hi, thanks for the sympathy. I'm not used to it to be honest. I'm used to being strong and highly capable. I have not yet contacted the CSA expert, I have so much to sort out it's overwhelming. My son C is a darling. He is 10 now, and old enough to give his old mum a break by helping to tidy up his things more and fold his clothes. He has made me a cup of coffee in the morning 3 times in the past week. I get terribly irritable sometimes with the fatigue and feel awful for snapping at him. I'm all he has and we never get a break from each other....ever. I know he would dearly love to hear from his father, but he never gets a call or a letter. I have tried via solicitors, visiting the ex-grandparents, via mediation, but I think his 2nd wife does not wish him to be involved with us. Still, he's a grown man and capable of deciding for himself. It's dastardly.
Hi sparklinglime, thank you for your comments. Can I ask what age you are ? I am 53. What problems exactly do you have with OA? Do you have difficulty walking ? My problem is that I am ok sometimes, then debilitated without warning. How do you mean that you only applied when you could write the condition down ? Is that due to being unable to write due to the OA ? Sorry to ask so many questions, and I understand if you don't want to respond in detail as it's all quite personal. x
I have osteo athritis.
I could only walk for short distances and it was four years before the GP sent me for an X-ray. I have very severe athritis of the hips, back and neck. My shoulders are starting to go and my knuckles are not good...
I'm now 49 and was diagnosed "officially" coming up to two years ago. The first thing I did was phone social services as I was unable to get in the bath by then. They referred me to the occupational therapist for assessment. They suggested I apply for DLA.
Prior to that the GP was telling me that I couldn't walk due to stress - can't really apply for DLA for stress...
Ask as many questions as you want, if I can answer I will 
Hi lizandconnor
You will notice that i have edited your childs name from your original post as we like to keep the anonimity of our users and their family.
It's great that C is helpful about the house, when you get settled and he has made friends maybe he would be able to stay over at a friends house for a night which would give you both a break, would this be something you would consider?
Things can be overwhelming at times, something that i have found useful is making lists and prioritising and then putting time frames to all that has to be done, this has helped clear it all from my head so i am not going round and round in circles and feeling like i still have loads to do it also makes me feel like i have accomplished something. This is just a suggestion and may be something that you already do.
Thank you for removing C's name. I should also edit my username. How do I do that ? My ex husband uses everything he can find against me and does a lot of computer spying, then twists it all round and makes the most appalling allegations against me. He has defamed me so badly that even my only brother stopped talking to me and is aiding my ex by sending information about us to his vile lawyer in South Africa. Re list writing, I used to be a dynamic and successful business woman and made my own fortune which was all 'removed' from me by my ex and his lawyer, and even my own lawyers, in South Africa. I simply cannot find the strength inside of me to replicate the superhuman effort it took me to overcome terrible obstacles in my life in order to become successful and wealthy. To start again from scratch, in the worst recession in decades, being homeless, jobless, with a debilitating condition and a young child, is unsurmountable. Even if I was successful again, I am too old to get a mortgage. We have been asked to leave our last 3 rentals due to not having enough money to pay the whole rent and there are no council houses left due to the Thatcher government selling them off and not replacing them again. I probably need a holiday with nothing to worry about for a week, but that's not possible. I don't think it would even matter where I was, as the worry would still keep me awake at night, even in a nice hotel by a warm sea. I used to be the most upbeat and positive person my friends knew, now I am a depressed, washed up wreck. Today the Child Support Agency (I found some strength to call them) told me the same thing they have been telling me for the past 3 years, that they are 'escalating' my case to the special case team. The woman admitted that they had let me down terribly. I have also contacted my local councillor who may be able to forward the matter to our MP as the CSA have a Parliamentary Team. I have been in tears most of the afternoon. The Child Maintenance Options called me, but again, they only pay lip service and have no teeth. All these 'charitable organisations' funded by the government, who pay staff to send desperate mothers round in circles each passing the buck to the other. They would be better off closing the organisations down and using the funding to directly help struggling mothers and children to pay their electricity and water bills, and give them extra money for rent. Sorry for the rant.
It was a lot to come to terms with when I realised that I was losing everything, although back then I was 'healthy'.
In time, would you be able to start your own business again? Scouts was something that made me focus my mind on things other than the rubbish that was going on.
It was hard to accept that I'd never own a house again either - but the advantages of not having to worry about repairs and maintenance now I'm disabled - I used to enjoy a challenge before
I am still a long way from being unable to get in and out of the bath, although it is becoming more difficult. My shoulders feel like they are seizing up, and the knuckles in my fingers are becoming swollen and misshapen, just like my mothers. No cure, as you know. It's been 4 days now and I have done hardly any of the things I must do to keep our lives ticking along. Funny how the Doctors (and their receptionists) always put things down to stress. It's the RA and Fatigue that are causing most of the stress.
Hello again
There is lots of friendly support on here for you
To change your user name, click on My Profile at the very top of the page, then the Edit tab. You will see a box for user name., Change it to anothe rname of your choice and then click Save (think this is at the bottom)
Hello lizandconnor
Welcome to One Space. Your situation sounds absolutely ridiculous and I cannot begin to imagine how frustrated you must feel about the anomalies that have been thrown up by what has happened.
One thing I suggest you do is to contact our resident CSA Expert (click) as she can give you the bottom line on if there is anything else you can do re the CSA.
I am presuming that you have had a Benefits check to make sure you are gettting everything possible to help you. Does your mum get Attendance Allowance?
Hope your son will settle well into his new school and that you can also feel more settled after all the upheaveal