CSA

Hello Louise - thank you for your reply.     I have sent a brief message to the CSA expert and hopefully she will reply to me.

At first mum was busy with her new boyfriend, hence we had the children so much.    He moved into about two years ago.    Things started to go downhill after that (I am not blaming the boyfriend here). 

The children have been asking their dad can they have more time with him.    My son has asked his ex. about this but she refused.    In August last year he told her that because the boys had asked for extra time he was applying to get the residence order amended for 50/50 shared residence and to incorporate all school holidays into it.

Around that time she told me that we were no longer required to look after the children.   The eldest gets himself to school now and the youngest goes to a childminder.    She has to pay for this.    It has puzzled me a bit why she would want to pay when she has had free child care for over ten years.    She perhaps has not declared her boyfriend has moved in but I am only summising here.

We have been working out his bills etc this afternoon.    The maths don't add up.    If all else fails I will consider paying my pension into his bank as I don't want him to lose his home as it is the childlren's home as well.

Hi Louise - no definitely not an option.   Regarding the Hearing for 50/50, they have to attend mediation.    I am not sure how that will go now, my son will have to bite his tongue.    He has been looking through his works handbook and he has slight concerns he may lose his job because a DEO has been placed on him.    I hope that doesn't happen.

I am very shocked about this because he only received the letter on Tuesday that his ex was claiming for maintenance.    It has taken them three years to put this into practice and three days to put an order on him.     He feels like a criminal.    Something is wrong somewhere when a Goverment Agency can behave in this way.    No consultation at all about realistic payment.    My son will be left with about £80 a week if he is lucky,  for food, petrol for the car, telephone, clothing for himself and the boys and he takes a basic Sky package and broadband, not for himself, but because it gives the children pleasure and they can use the x-box.    I know he will be reluctant to cancel this.   

Regarding the chap that didn;t eat for three days, my son stocks up on food for when the children are with him.    They eat well and he cooks them nice food.   Once the boys have gone he tends to eat with us.    And this is before CSA dock his wages! 

Jean has e-mailed me and has given me a couple of useful tips.   She has suggested NACSA so I will look into this tomorrow.

I have spoken to nacsa. They were very helpful but the news is not good. The claim can be backdated from when they first contacted my son (2009). The fact that they did not take further action nor did his ex does not matter. The contact list which I have kept diligently is virtually useless because mum disputes it. They are not even bound to take shared residence orders into account because mum could say that dad didn't have the children anyway. However, they have advised to keep the contact list going.

He has been advised to ask for a full arrears breakdown and copies of all assessment notifications. He has also sent off to the Data Protection Unit for a copy of his file. As well as this, my son  is going to send in a letter of complaint.

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Hi Anna - thanks you for your post.

Some posters may think that  my son should have been paying right from the start.  With hindsight that probaby would have been the best.   But I can honestly say he has provided a good home for the children with their own bedrooms and everything they require.     It is a second home, as good as mum's, probably better as they have to share beds with exes. partner's children when they are at their mums.   He spends all his money on them so has stepped up to the plate in every way but the way the CSA have acted, it is though he is a feckless father. 

Although many parents do share care in this way, each doing their bit, I was always puzzled as to why his ex. didn't pursue her claim for maintenance as she takes rather than gives. .  I expect she was just waiting for the right moment.

Thanks for your supportive post Louise.   Never having experienced the CSA before, I wonder if the old system of taking income into account could have been the  better arrangement.   Parents on similar incomes could perhaps be assessed more realistically and mums who have to stay at home to look after children could be awarded more, especially if their ex. husband is in receipt of a good salary.       It should all be about fairness.    

Even people who run up large debts of their own making are given the opportunity to pay according to their means.   Not so with the CSA.     I feel very bitter this morning, not that my son has to pay for his boys, but the way it has been done.    Fortunately my son is a lot more upbeat about it than I am.

Duplicate post

Hello - I just thought I would come back to you with an update. My son had a letter from the CSA today. I haven't seen the letter but it is not good news.

The parent with care can claim back maintenance at any time she wishes, irrespective of any shared care element, purchase of clothes, payment for holidays etc. There is nothing the CSA can do about it as this is the law as it stands. They expressed a certain amount of sympathy and said that they understand the frustration felt by my son but they were quite clear that it was up to the parent with care to accept or reject the shared care element and that they could do nothing about it.

It's horrible to think that my ex. dil was happy to accept all that was given to her financially and practically. Once she no longer required our help, she activated her claim. That's life, I suppose and there are givers and takers.

My son sent in an Appeal Form a couple of weeks ago. It is supposed to be an independent process but it probably will be a waste of time as the letter of the law, as it stands, has apparently been followed.

Hi Louise. I have seen that website previously. There is plenty of information. However, following my e-mail to Jean a few weeks ago, she recommended NACSA and I took her advice. They have done what they can to help my son but other than the appeal I don't think there is much more that can be done.

My son's Hearing regarding the children was yesterday. It has been adjourned for a further six weeks. My son through his Barrister asked his ex. why she had told the CSA he was an absent father. She said it was because she had been trying to collect arrears for three years. My son has his file now from the DPU which clearly shows she asked for collection in August 2011. It took the CSA until February 2012 to let my son know that there were arrears outstanding. How to you deal with an ex. wife who cannot tell the truth?

Thanks for your reply Louise. The clock starts ticking at the date of the original referral which was June 2009. The claim was only pursued on 2 August 2011. It took the CSA six months to inform my son of this, with the letter of arrears for £7.800 which he did not even know that he owed.

There is nothing to do now but wait for the appeal.

I have written to Maria Miller, Minister at the Department of Work and Pensions outlining how my son has unwittingly fallen foul of the CSA. She is the minister in charge of the new reforms of the CSA. She probably wont be able to help in any way, but I wanted her to know that both mums and dads can find themselves on the poverty line following divorce and that the Government has a duty of care to all UK citizens including dads.

I got a reply to my e-mail today from my son's MP.    He suggested that my son should write to him.    I have passed on the e-mail to my son.    I think he will probably drop him a line over the weekend.

Thanks Louise - it may be that something can be done to lessen the burden on my son at the moment.   The CSA is of less importance to my son than the two boys.   He has a Final Hearing coming up in the next month or so for 50/50 shared residency.    Their mum is opposing it vigorously and my son thinks his eldest boy is under a lot of strain.   The CSA pales into insignifance compared with this.

Just thought I would pop back to say hello.     The saga of the CSA still goes on.   They have given my son £150 in compension as they have admitted that they have handled his case very badly.      He  is at the end of his tether now paying 33% of his wages to the CSA.    The children are due to come for two weeks holiday with him next week and he will not have a penny to spend on them - in all honesty without our help he could not provide for them for the whole fortnight.   His ex. e-mailed him and asked if he was still taking them to Benidorm for two weeks!   

His complaint is now being dealt with by a senior manager.   He has asked that he pay the arrears back at an affordable amount.    They promised to reply to his letter by 29 June, but as yet they have not done so.

Yes, we are looking forward to seeing the boys and they are looking forward to staying with their dad.    We have managed to keep all the problems away from them.   My son is communicating now with his ex. which he feels can only be of benefit to the children.   

We are entirely behind him in this, but having said that it is extremely stressful for myself and my husband as my ex. dil has treated my son in an unforgivable way.   She has tried to deny him contact with the children through the Courts, but thankfully she wasn't successful.