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So i thought, ok, so i've a few things i'm working out with my little one and i'm hunting for a new job, but i still need to be me, so i thought i'll try dating again after having had a short break from it...
My question is... am I right in having alarm bells ringing in my head?.. I had a date on Weds eve.. before we'd even met and just chatted on the phone he was saying I was great, sound and look amazing (based on my profile on the dating site)and that he has really good feelings about this etc.. He was also sending me texts about wanting to Kiss me and telling me how passionate he is and that he's a tactile kind of person. Well I texted back saying I'm a passionate person, but I meant in life! I guess he took that totally the wrong way.. I guess I should have backed away on Weds eve when he kept leaning over the table to kiss me, and i don't mean just a peck on the cheek! With lots of people around causing a scene was the last thing i wanted and i felt quite helpless.. :-( I thought going out for a walk might be nice.. but he wanted to hold my hand when we walked and kept stopping to kiss me.. it all felt so awkward.. I feel stupid now, I should have told him to stop but I felt.. what's the word.. I don't know?? It all felt so wrong.. :-(
I spoke to him last night and he told me he followed me home but said he must of took the wrong direction coz he lost me. Also he said hes checked me out using Google search, and he'd friend requested me on facebook prior to our date which i stupidly accepted so hes checked my whole profile too :-( When i chatted to him last night he said 'your so busy Sarah with your boys, I think you need a boyfriend to help you out'.. Tis all rather strange behaviour? Bit full on.. What do think? Perhaps I should tell him it's all a bit much seeing as he's only just met me? and/or should I run the other way?
Gut feeling is to knock on the head now or see how second date goes and then let him down.. I'm a little afraid of his reaction though.. He's freaking me out a bit.. I feel smothered already!! I remember my ex partner being much the same when I met him though I didn't realise that at the time given as I was an emotional wreak back then :-(
I always seem to pick right nut cases :-( I jus don't need it.. I thought he seemed like a nice guy, but it's so way to full on, desperate even :-( I'll come up with something.. What if he stalks me! He knows the area of town i live.. I was really chatty weds eve, we chatted well, it flowed, he just was saying things more suited to a 5th date or more kind of thing. I feel a little scared now, it's so daft, but I do. And I know it sounds pathetic but I've not slept very well the last few nights :-(
Each time a text comes through from him, I'm dreading what it'll say..
Oh dear, i've got myself in a right state and i've said i will see him Sunday for a second date, and having had time to actually reflect on the past week, texts, date, chats etc, i really don't think i want to meet again. But i'm so hung up on crushing his feelings :-( x x
Hi Mideymoo
Just like sergiozed, follow your instincts. If your gut says no, then it's no. I've been in your place and it always felt like only the "creepy" were free for me, so you are not alone.
It's a good idea to meet new people so don't give up, just follow your gut. If your are in fear call the Police.
Best wishes
Take care x
I told him.. I said..
I've had time to reflect over the last few days, i enjoyed our date, your company, the conversations have been good, and i think your a great guy, but i don't think we're the right fit.. Have reflected, as i do, i don't feel i clicked any more than as friends.. Sorry if you feel i have mislead you in any way, but i feel it best to be honest with, and trust my own thoughts and feelings so as not to cause hurt to either party in the long run..
He texted back to say thanks for being honest..
Hopefully that will be the end of that..
Thanks you for helping me x
Good for you, Midgymoo, sounds like the right decision to me, I once met a chap who was a few years younger than me, he immediately wanted to spend every weekend at my house (he lived in the next town). He had two children by a previous partner and had time with them alternate weekends, but proposed to leave them with his parents (not a good reflection on his character!) I also realised I would be acquiring a third, overgrown, child not an equal partner so although I was a bit scared I told him I did not want to see him again, the reaction was not good but I ignored the texts and mails.
It's important to listen to our gut instinct!
Midgeymoo,
that sounds like a big disaster! OK, dating is really not my bag, I have not done it for many years, but... this guy sounds scary to me! Too much, too soon! He followed you home... He would not stop trying to kiss even if you felt uncomfortable... he is making you feel stupid...you feel you have no choice...
Midgeymoo, follow your gut instinct. Say no. It's your life, it's your choice and this guy sounds like he wants somebody to control, not a date! You said: i really don't think i want to meet again. I was you, I wouldn't. If he scares you now, what makes you think it will be any better on Sunday evening? and would you trust him with your kids?