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My 1 year old was granted high rate DLA, this has been a massive help as now I can buy all her special foods....my question is as I'm down as A's main career (career allowance) can I refuse her to stay at her fathers if it comes up in future (he lives over 3 hours away & neither of us drive so if anything happened I couldn't reach her) & do I need to tell him that she gets DLA? only for the pure fact he will cut down on his CS payments!
He sees her only 2 days a months & my personal financial is never discussed with him- he knows I applied for DLA but never asked what the out come was- hes never paid an intreast in her meds or health so doesn't know about her pumps etc (dispite me trying to show him)
Also I suggested to him he decides where to take A on his visits, this lasted about a month during summer then he stopped suggesting places & assumed visits would be held at mine again & stopped suggesting places....is it worth bringing this to his attention or just leave it how it is as he clearly can't be bothered to make the effort & visits special?
Thank you Louise, I doubt he would even ask for her over night as he can't even handle her on his visits but just wanted to know where I stood with the DLA thing. he's the kinda person who thinks the extra money was just for luxuarys as has no idea how much her special foods etc cost!
A's half sibling was born a month ago - myself & her father both agreed that we will tell A when she is old enough to understand as I don't want him coming round with photos and being his normal bragging self, making A feel left out as she only sees him twice a month for a few hours, however I also found out he does not live with this baby either so turns out they prob wont meet anyway in future (which is a shame really) ...funny enough I found this out as on his 1st visit to A after baby was born, he went to change A's nappy and banged her head on the floor making her cry so I said "hope u don't handle new baby that roughly" , oh dear some people will never change...
Hi Tinkerbell2, I think it is great to always be thinking two steps ahead, but from what you have said he is not about to ask for any of things you are concerned about and as Louise says, he really doesn't need to know about the DLA. If he asks then that will be up to you.
Interesting that he doesn't live with his newborn, obviously his girlfriend doesn't trust him either?
I try not to get to involved in his business as its not my place but lets face it we all like to be nosey lol
from what I hear she has no intrest to live with him , she's 21 & he's 30 so she stil lives at home & plans on staying there..she got pregnant after just a few weeks with him so maybe she just doesn't know him well enough...she doesnt allow my ex to talk to his friends about their new born - its a big secret! Not that they have much luck hiding a baby lol...
I've been told when they bumped into a mutral friend of mine & his , all his gf did was talk about how much of a wonderful mother I am & how great A is (she's never met either of us) its all very strange
Yes I would feel really interested to know what was happening if I were you....he has obviously told everyone that you are a great mum, which is good to know 
Anymore thoughts about moving house, Tinkerbell2?
I've started bidding for 2 bedroom houses but it's 2 year wait on the list- unfortunately her health issues are not enough to bump us up the list :(
Ok, well hopefully it will NOT be as long as that. Did you seek any advice from our Housing Expert?
Hi Tinkerbell2
Fisrtly I would not tell him about the DLA, that is EXTRA money that is given so that life is a bit easier, whether that is for transport for those with mobility problems or special foods as for your daughter. It is not grounds for refusing a sleepover in itself but as she needs specific care in terms of her food and with her skin, then those facts might well be significant. You can refuse if you think it is inappropriate and if he wanted to, he could go to court but of course you would have a strong case as he has not had care of her, not does he understand her medical condition.