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A's father has her for 5 hours every 2 weeks and really seems like things are slipping.
Hes turning up late after nights with mates and yesterday we had an emergency during his visit and needed to get hold of him but like always his phone was off so couldnt get in touch for hours .
Any advice?
I really dont want to involve solicitors letters but I feel stressed enough when A is with him due to his lack of fatherhood over last few years let alone the stress and worry of him not having a way of contacting him during the visits.
Im not one of these people who constantly phone or message him during their time together, I only do if needed but feel in an emergency I should be able to get hold of him.
Imagin if she has one of her health problems while with him and he has no phone to call 999 or myself- I would never forgive myself :(.and he claims hes not getting another phone til his contract upgrade is due end of the year.
I think I have to say either sort your phone out or I cant allow you to have her alone. Which serms harse but she is my only concern.
I feel every time things start going right we take 10 steps back again. Having him around is really like having a 2nd child, he just has no common sense or brains to think for himself and as for turning up late as you was out with your mates til 5am on the booze- well what can I say, pull your finger out, u only see A twice a month !!!
A seems ok with him these days with I am so glad about but still yet to grasp the concept that he is her daddy- she thinks my nieces daddy is her daddy to for some reason
I understand your concerns and I would want him to have access to a phone too, especially as A has some health issues. Your thought of saying sort your phone out before you have time alone with her does seema sensible one and it's a shame that he constantly lets you both down with being out till 5am etc. We have said in the past that it feels as if you parent him too, and this is continuing.
What do you say when A calls your niece's daddy "daddy"?
I explain that his is only her cousins daddy and show A a photo of who her daddy is
That's a good idea, with the photo 
Oh Tinkerbell2, he needs to keep his phone on. I know you have put up with a lot over the last couple of years in many ways. Is it worth having a stern word, with a solicitor's letter as the next move? Incidentally is she settling Ok with him these days?