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Im so angry!! My childs father has become a good fatyher gradually over time. I agree, that as it stands now, he tries his best and we work together, we're civil and my child is thriving. I feel very happy and priveleged.
Howvere, when i talk to people (family, neighbours, frineds) and i tell them the positive situation (although hard still facing an ex, who has hurt me and who i dont like), they all on the whole praise him, how a great dad he is to support his child, how my son has a great relationship with him, how hes done well at doing a specific thing etc. All true statements ......................
BUT WHERE IS THE RECOGNITION FOR ME?????? Even my family talk about 'dad' in such a positive light, of which i never al talked about in the same way. I feel completely taken for granted and not acknowledged for the mundane things which keep my child happy and the things on top of that, such as taking him out places, spending time with him, playing games with him, setting up lessons for him e.g. swimming, football etc ...... my family have never said to me, well done, youve done your son proud there, whereas when dad does something like take child to the park, hes given masses of praise!!!!!!!!!! AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
where is my recognition?? Do i get any???
im really emotional and mad!!!
please help me, thanks
Hi Pink lilly
I don't think that there is any clear answer to this, it was the same for me too, a while back i was at a family party and an elderly aunt was telling me how my parents would sing my praises to her everytime they visited.
I suppose people may not always say it to us but they will tell it to others, thankfully i have great friends that tell me i'm doing great.
I think sparklings right, the kids will look back one day and be thankfull for all that you have done.
There is that saying about it being a "thankless job"
Grrr how frustrating, your son's father supporting him? Isn't that what fathers are supposed to do?! Maybe they are just pleased that things have worked out as they did?
I think you are doing a brilliant job pink lilly! 
I have never had recognition from my family about how well things have turned out after 15 very turbulent years, but I now I have worked wonders on myself and my daughter and our situation and that is what counts the most.
Hi!
I think people get all excited when they see a man being good with children, it's like oh isn't he wounderful blah, blah, blah because they are generaly used to seeing the mother doing all that.
I get it lots and I think, well if I was a girl no one would look twice or think anything out of the ordinary.
Just carry on doing what you do, try not to take too much attention of what other people say.
Later.
Hear hear bubblegum
Hi pink lilly
Couple of examples to tell you about here. When I was at full-time work in an office, one of the chaps there was left by his wife. The manager gave him extra time off in the day to do the supermarket shopping. You can bet that several of us women went to see this manager and ask if we could also do this as we were the ones cooking for the family and had been doing so for years.
Further down the line, and my children were 8 and 3. My male friend from the same church split up from his wife, there were no children involved. I split up from my husband, had tuppence in the world and had two little boys to look after. Guess which one of us had regular visits from people in the church with casseroles and offers of help with cleaning and emotional support?
Unfortunately there is a perception that caring for children is "women's work". As Bubblegum has found, there is great astonishment and praise when a man does it well. To a lesser extent this also happens if a woman does a job that is traditionally associated with men, eg bricklayer. So your ex is getting praise from all and sundry because there is a perception that to be a good dad is unusual. In fact there are loads of good dads, in relationships and not, and that is why fathers' rights groups campaign so strongly.
I share your anger, pink lilly!!
Hi
I always found the same thing here.
I don't know what the answer is.
I did post about my frustrations at one point.
I accept that The Git will be seen as a great person,but yes, all I've done is invisible and taken for granted.
I know you're brilliant. I'm always assured that our children will look back and appreciate all we've done. But I've yet to be convinced...
Loads of hugs.