Ex partner in court for assault

Hello flower11

Welcome along and thanks to LRH for replying to you last night

We are indeed a site for single parents but also support those who may or may not become single parents and you're right, there is a lot of information about domestic violence on here and I am sure you will have read a few people's stories.

My reply to you is going to be in two sections. Firstly, on a practical level, if you have withdrawn your statement and the prosecution is still going ahead then there is little you can do about this, it is obviously considered serious enough to proceed. It is vital you obey the bail conditions, even though this means not going away together for your daughter's birthday. To break his bail not only risks imprisonment for him but also a danger that your children would be considered at risk and other measures taken. That all sounds really stern, I am sorry, I am not saying it to scare you but the system is very clear and your children's dad really does have to obey the bail conditions unless he gets these varied through the courts, presumably he has a solicitor?

Secondly I would recommend you think very long and hard about this relationship. Your view is that he would never do it again. In my opinion, we are all capable of an act of violence, but perhaps most people would be more inclined to lash out rather than put their hands round someone's throat (let's face it, this could actually have killed you if it had continued) so it seems that your thoughts about the relationship need to be set in some sort of context. What led to this assault? presumably it did not just come out of the blue. What can you say about the relationship in general?

For example, if you have spent the last seven years blissfully happy with this man, you lead a fulfilling life in terms of your individual friendships, your social life, freedom, your finances and life goals then it tells me that there is much about this relationship that is positive.....and if in addition to this he is absolutely devastated that he has done this and is willing to undertake any sort of help and therapy that may be available to ensure that nothing of this nature would ever happen again, then you can look to move forward after this, with whatever support is needed. If on the other hand he has been an increasingly controlling partner over the years, that he "looks after" the money, is moody, expects you to do everything in the house, doesn't like you going out (or "punishes" you if you do), forces you to have sex when you don't want to, sulks when things don't go his way and tells you you are a bad parent/fat/ugly/useless/ would never get anyone else....then alarm bells should ring, no matter what the outcome of this court case, as that is an abusive relationship even without any violence involved.

Maybe you need to talk things over with someone, it can be quite hard to confide in family and friends in case you think they might judge you. You could have a chat with Women's Aid, not only about your relationship in general but also about the forthcoming case. Their number is 0808 2000 247

How are your children in all this? It is really important that you keep things as stable as possible for them. Perhaps you can say dad is working away, for the time being?

We are happy to support you on here, it is so hard when you love someone and everything is suddenly up in the air