This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi everyone
So the inevitable has happened - my ex has lost his job/been pushed out. Because of his personality problems he struggles to make it to the 2 year mark in any job. He doesn't realise it's him he thinks it's other factors and blames anything and everything else, always has. But I know better! I feel very sorry for his fiance as I know the rubbish she has been going through with him.
He hasn't told me this because he lies to me, but he has told me he will be leaving his job because he can see problems ahead and that he has found a lower paid job so may have to reduce maintenance payments for a while but he will keep looking for a job at his current level.
The reality according to his online profiles is that he finished in December so I doubt he really does have another job secured as he says. Last time this happened he was made redundant and he didn't tell me for six months, kept paying maintenance then told me in October that he wasn't paying anymore and suddenly stopped when he knew I had committed to a big party for DS1.
Some warning would be nice! And also he could have helped out with childcare in those 6 months and I could have done some more work. Or at the very least he could have spent some more time with his children - he still kept seeing them every other weekend! All so he can maintain a front with me that he's successful and settled. What a plum.
In the email when he told me he has a new lower paid job to go to, he also told me the arrangements he wants for his wedding in October. Now bear in mind he hasn't told me the date of his wedding, last year he just said it was in October. After booking all my annual leave with work and planning my childcare arrangements for Tax Credits he now says it's in half term. Well I had originally booked that as leave to go away with the boys.
I don't mind changing my leave and working that week instead but he wants them between 11 and 6 the first day and 10 and 4 the second day. Like they're an accessory he can just get out and put away when he likes. Don't you think that's wierd? I wonder if her children are being treated the same? If feels like yet again my kids will be on the fringe of everything, not really fully part of it.
Oh well, it's only the sort of behaviour I expect from him, just like I expected him to lose his job. Unfortunately I haven't been able to save any money to cover this as my rent is so high (£900 for a 2 bed) but I am moving somewhere cheaper in June fingers crossed.
Thanks for listening!
Gem
x
How long have u been seperated Gem? You sound like its been along time as u sound very reasonable changing your plans etc.Also what sort of a marriage are they going to have if he treats her bad like u. ???? surely that marriage doent hold much luck by the sounds of what he is like. Good luck to her!!!! Im only a couple of months in to my seperation and im all ready dreading another woman with my kids but im guessing i will have to get use to it, I so pitty who ever he gets nxt as he is a controller and abusive. The kids will see through him. ive been told this since left him and my daughter is coming around to me thank god .hope u dont mind me commenting.
Hi flowers, these forums are for everyone to comment to each other, make new friends and support each other, so please don't apologise! It is hard when our ex has a new partner, but I think it is a good sign when we feel empathy for them rather than jealousy!
How are you Gem? Is the move in June still happening?
Hi Anna, Louise and Flowers
I'm not sure why but I didn't see this before. Is there a way to see your own content?
I haven't found anywhere to move to yet but it's okay as I just won't sign my contract and it's 2 months notice so there's no rush.
Flowers, my ExH and I broke up 4 years ago.
Thanks!
Gem
x
Hello GEM
If you go onto My Profile (top right hand of the page) and click on the Edit tab, then scroll down to the section headed Email entitlements, you will see there is a tick box to receive emails if people reply to threads you have started. You can tick this, then decide if you also want to get notifications every time you make a comment on someone else's thread and use the drop-down to select your choices. Then click Save at the bottom of that page.
Hope that helps 
Thanks
x
Hi Gem, you're right, it does seem as if he wants to put on a front and at least you have found out about the wedding shenanigans a few months in advance. I am glad to hear you are moving somewhere cheaper, that rent is very high. I agree it is strange to specify the times like that but maybe it is to fit in with the event? All we can do is provide the security for our children ourselves. My boys are pretty grown up now, as you know, and they totally understand and appreciate who it was that was there for them