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This website is all new to me so I hope I am doing this right!!
this is a very complicated problem. I fell pregnant 5 years ago and had a beautiful daughter her father was trouble in and out of prison so I decided not to include him in our daughters life untill he could change. He evently made a HUGE mistake and is now serving a 4 year stay in prison. He is due out jan 13.
I had another child a boy and his father got very close to my daughter and she eventully ended up calling him "Daddy" this relationship broke down and we cannot see eye to eye anymore he ignores my daughter and takes my son over her everytime. She is picking up on his actions and I'm thinking maybe its time to explain the whole dad situation to her. She is 5 years old and I do not want to scare her. I feel I have handled the whole situation wrong and if I could turn back time I would and do everything different.
If anyone has ever been in this situation a would really appriciate some advice
Hi Dumpy,
Sorry to hear how your ex is behaving to your daughter. I havent been through this myself so dont have any suggestions (my daughter sees my current partner of 5 years as her dad too but she does know he aint her real dad). If I were to split from my boyf now and he was like that with my daughter I think I would just keep reassuring her I loved her and that he loved her too but that he has some problems which mean he cant see her as much as he likes etc. Im not sure if that would help you seeing as he is still seeing your son but I think you just need to stress to your daughter how much she is loved. And perhaps when your son is with your ex create some 'girly time' for you and your daughter...?
I dont know if this helps but i wish you well with it all. It is such a cruel betrayal that your ex has just changed like that 
Hi DUMPY welcome to One Space, littleangel has given brilliant suggestions.
With my daughter I was always (age appropriately) honest and wanted her to know that we were in this together, yes her 'Daddy' had let her down, but I was in her corner and we would be fine.
Of course she will miss your ex in the short term, but younger children do get over these kind of things quite easily. As long as there is one constant adult in her life that thinks the world of her, she will cope.
Do you have any contact with your ex in prison? Does he know he has a daughter? I think you need to decide how much you say to your daughter, she is still very young and might find the words prison very frightening, especially as she is estranged from him, all sorts of horrors might form in her head.
You say that years ago you would have handled this all differently, in what way? This might give some answers to how you broach the subject.
Does your ex see your son every weekend?
Hi Dumpy
Some great comments here but whilst you are deciding what to tell your daughter, and how much, I can recommend this book, which emphasises that families come all sorts of shapes and sizes. Reading this with her will give you a springboard for when you DO talk to her.
Little angel's comments about telling her she is loved are excellent as it is important your daughter does not feel rejected. Do you spend some special time with her when your son goes to his dad?
Hi Dumpy. I'm sorry, but I've no idea what to suggest here. Isn't it sad that the ex couldn't have thought of her too?
There are three brilliant parenting specialists on the board who will be able to give some advice.
I'm sorry things have been so difficult.