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Hello, Well I need a bit of advice, I have just become a single dad and my wife has moved out and decided to move to E*****.(Over 65 miles away from where our son was born and goes to nursery) She has quit her job and is now living with her mum. She has no income or a place of her own. I claim tax credits and child benefits for our son as she signed it all over to me when she has had a breakdown from postnatal depression.
What I am concerned about is that she will try and take him to live with her in Exeter.
Do I have any say in this? Can she just take him?
What rights do I have? If any?
Many thanks
Hello MoodyBlues
Shaz is right, you need some legal advice. Click here to email our legal specialist and tell them what you have told us.
How are you coping with things? are you working at the moment?
Hello Shaz, Yes I do have a C.A.B near me, I will be phoning a family solicitor this morning. Just to check what my options are. I don't doubt for a second the safety of our son with him. I just don't want her to have the right to take him to E*****.
It was me who looked after him when she decided to move out the first time as she could not cope with him or life.
After 6 months of hell she told me she was better and wanted to come back so I let and now 4 months down the line she is saying this is not what she wants as is going back to E*****.
Like I said she has no place of her own at the moment is sleeping in her baby brothers bedroom. As she quit her job it's my understanding that she will not be able to claim job seekers allowance for 3 months. and then she still has to try and find somewhere to live. I am not saying that I don't want her to see her son I just don't want her uprooting him from his nursery and family just because she wants to live in E*****. She said that because he's only 18monts he won't notice the change but I feel different about the whole thing! He was born in B*** and it's what he knows.
Hello Louise, Yes I am working full time. He goes to nursery 3 days a week and then with his Nanny when I a working.
Hi Moodyblues
I hope the call with the family solicitor goes well.
It's sounds as if its difficult to predict how she will be in the future.
However, as things are you are the parent with care, with an established routine in place and family support - which can be difficult to change.
Has she said that she intends to take him to E*****?
Hello, I spoke to her this morning and she is trying to set up her collage course in E******..I thought getting a job would be the most important thing! But I guess that's just me.
What she wants at the moment is for me to have our son Monday to Thursday then she would collect him and and bring him back on Sunday. Now I don't mind this but she only wants it to be that way till she gets herself a house/flat sorted then I think she will want to have him full time!
I really don't want this to happen! But I feel the odds are stacked against me. She has no job,No home surely she can't take him away from me? She also wants me to give her petrol money to bring him back and said if I didn't I would have to collect him for E*****.I don't even have a car!
Please do use the link I provided above to email our solicitor for some advice 
Hi Moodyblues
I hope you get some answers from your legal advisor, whether on the phone, in person or using our free email service.
You will feel better knowing what your rights are, then you what position you are in to move forward.
You say that she wants the weekends and that is fine with you. Can you drive? Would you consider hiring a car for the day? ie: City Car Club or I have just found this groovy little idea Whipcar. The train wouldn't be too expensive either.
It is your son's right to see his mum, however it is also important that he has stability. From your post I fear that your ex is threatening not to return him, if you don't give her money. So if it were me, I wouldn't quibble I would just turn up at the designated time and return him home.
Let us know how you get on with the legal advice.
hi moodyblues i hope you have had a good day and you have got something sorted ? the links that louise as posted for cab and the legal one i used and they helped me alot . from what i have read your ex doesnt seem to be in a fit state to haev the child live with her full time . if she did come and visit keep a key in the door so she cant enter the house as she wants that is what i did and my ex had to knock jsut then you know that they have entered the house . just a thought it gave me piece of mind
Hi moodyblues, I hope you can get things sorted out very soon.
That's a good idea shaz5.
Hello! I've spoken to my son's mother today and she said that she is going to counter claim for our son's tax credits and child support. The only reason she is doing this is because without out it she can't apply for re-housing or nursery costs or do her collage course. She says she is more in entitled to it because she is not working and has nowhere to live! The way I look at it was her choice to quit her job and to move away! Has anyone else been in this position? And if so what was the outcome?
Hmmnn looks to me like you really need to go to the C.A.B. or get some legal advice, as others have mentioned...
hi moodyblues i would second what mich said in you need to go to c.a.b they are good helped with me
Hi MoodyBlues
Your wife is only entitled to the Child Benefit etc if she has majority care of your son. I know that you have concerns about her taking your son to live with her and this might be more on the cards if the money is in question. Please do get legal advice about this, either from your own adviser or from the link I have given you above.
Hello, I have our son Sunday afternoon till Thursday afternoon..So I know this makes me the primary carer for are son! But it's starting to dawn on her that with out Tax credits or child benefits she will struggle with money! She even gave the "Do you want our son to have a roof over his head"
She chose to walk out and head 80 miles the other way! Now what I am thinking is she will try to force me to let her see him more so she can have him more days that I do! It's just about the money for her! It drives me mad,
I don't know what to do!
Yes, it is something to discuss with the solicitor. Very worrying and upsetting for you
Yes I agree...You need some help and advice to try and get something sorted out...
hi moodyblues hope you have sorted things out or got help
Any news today?
hi moodyblues if i was you i would get intouch with cab citizens advice . do you have a local one near you ? what ever she has signed over to you keep that safe . my ex wrote that he would pay the bills and the house till my son was 18 he since as stopped the bills but i kept the letter made copies the solic and the social have copies . you could try ringing a family lawyer see if they can see you . i did get intouch via here cab and got some legal advice too which helped me but im not good in looking at links to repost to you if you go in chit chat and post you will get reposts this site is really good . i wouldnt like to say but i feel as that her state of mind may have to be questioned in looking after your son hope thuis helps sorry i can help more take care