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HI, my child (nearly 3) is due to start pre-school in a few days and im finding it hard to 'let go', i'm very aware that its for the best, in terms of learning social skills etc, but i feel very much alone.
Obviously, as a single parent you have nobody (well, not a close partner) to discuss how you feel about your child's first day etc. I'm pretty sure its normal to feel anxious about leaving your child anywhere other than family etc for the first time, but i was hoping for some support on this,. Also, if anybody else has gone through how im feeling, your thoughts may be useful.
thank you
Hi pink lilly
It's soooooooo hard. I remember putting on a " bravado" face and saying things like at last I can read my book in peace, but when they toddle into the playgroup, you realise it is the first time they are facing a new situation without either you or another familiar adult, that is quite unsettling.It will be a whole new world for him and he can tell you all about it, bring that bit of his world back to you.
However, what COULD you do in peace? even if it is have a bath? or go for a run?
HI both,
IM glad im not the only one that feels a bit unnerved. Sometimes i see mums and they look so 'i dont care' or 'im completely fine' type of mum, and im thinking, thats all i want to do is cry.
youre right, it'll be good for both of us, maybe it'll be a good idea to write down a few ideas of things to do when he first goes to playgroup next week.
Well maybe they are doing the bravado thing that I did.....Great idea to write a list for yourself, let us know what you put on it!
I cried buckets when all of my lot started school. I used to go for a swim which kept me occupied.
They all loved it though, which did make things easier.
Hi Pinklilly,
I know exactly how you feel, I was anxious for months before angel started school. I just couldnt bear the thought of her being somewhere that I had no control over. Her first day she was soooo excited because she had watched all her older cousins go school and couldnt wait her turn. When I dropped her off she was literally pushing me out the door, I was heartbroken as all the other kids were weeping for their mums. In the end the teacher literally escorted me out as I kept making silly excuses to stay a bit longer. I actually watched her from the window for half an hour before anyone spotted me! The good thing was she LOVED it and still does and I think seeing her have so much fun made me have to accept that it was time for her to have her little bit of independence , it was hard and I was probably the most anxious of all the mums at the school but I got there in the end.
It is totally natural to feel that way and as she reaches different stages such as first sleep over, first day out with friends etc those feelings will return but you will get there.
thats great! :) im just glad im not the only one to feel like this, and i feel more positive now.
I have talked about my feelings with others, but theyre not single parents. I feel my feelings are more emphasised due to this, as (as i said previously) i cannot share this exciting/nervous time with my 'partner'/the father.
Im glad this site exists, and thank you for your comments.
Hi pink lilly, I just wanted to add that when you drop your boy off act very matter of factly and confident, as our children are very clever creatures and will pick up on your mood. He needs to feel that this is normal progression and you are fine with it, otherwise he may end up believing that either he shouldn't be there or it is a forced situation, which will make him feel unhappy.
It sounds like you are a very caring mum and I am sure that you will deal with it appropriately, just wanted to give a reminder that it is about how we act when our children are small, not what we say! 
So, have you come up with any ideas for you to do whilst he is in nursery??
Hi, yes thats very interesting and i feel that it is important for my son. This type of behaviour coming from myself, is also useful when his father visits, for simliar reasons.
Im pretty confident that i can portray a confident image to my son on the day he first goes into preschool and i hope it all goes well.
For the first few sessions, im assuming i wont have much time to do things, as i may be picking him up earlier than what would be normal if he was to be very upset etc. However, a few things in my mind are: to paint my sons room, study, go shopping, socialise, gardening, maaybe even just sit down and watch tv :) i'll see how i feel each week and i can plan what to do.
Infact, im really looking forward to having 5 minutes to myself, as ever since my son was born, we've been side by side pretty much everyday. I know the little breaks will be good for both of us and i feel excited for things to develop.
Yes, it IS an exciting opportunity. It is lovely when your child comes home and tells you about the new things they have done, and you can feel proud that they are forming new relationships. This business of parenthood is hard going sometimes but there are lovely bits too
How are things going with you, pink lilly? Is your little one settling into pre-school?
HI again, he went first time around no problems (it was me that got a bit emotional on the first day), however since then he's been unwell (typical :( ), but he'll be going again this week, and i cannot wait, He's very excited by it and proud that he has stickers etc.
He did however, on his second day get a little bit upset (towards the end), he wanted to come home, but this is expected im assuming.
i hope things continue to go well for him.
Hi pink lilly it is to be assumed that at first he is going to be settling to a new rountine and little ones can find this tiring, once he gets used to it he will be fine.
I remember with mine the first few weeks at the end of the day they would be miserable, sometimes coming home and wanting to go to sleep then wanting to run about the house til late.
I had to change what happened at the end of the day, like go by the park or play something to keep them a wake, make sure that they ate early and then bath and do something relaxing and an early night.
Gradually things would slip back to more normal routine for us.
That's reassuring to know, Sally, and I hope your son will soon settle into the new routine, pink lilly. Have you got all your plans lined up for your bit of free time?
yes, i find it really exciting (now im over the nerves of 'letting him go'). I have to do a lot of painting these next few days, so im cracking on with this in the free time, which is useful. :)
Ooh what rooms and what colour?
Hello Pink Lilly.....your feelings are quite normal. My child is not as old as yours but will be starting a specialist nursery (equipped to deal with her health) in two weeks and im so scarred about letting her go. I think as single parents we form close bonds with our children and we are all they know and same other way round. Your child will be in great care and it will be good to go due to education and social reason as you said. You will find the first week or so very hard and watching your clock until pick up time but the space will be good for you also.....best of luck for little one at school, they grow so fast :)