This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Ave been back at work since w/c 1st February so around 7/8 months now. I still dont feel like i fit in (my sexuality dosent in the deptartment- am straight!) Before going off on mat leave last july i wasnt to bothered about the department i worked in but now that am back and after a few months it feels like i dont fit in and at times am like a nervous train wreck as they watch every little thing you do. If you were to speak to a manager about it no one would do anything about it as it aint there problem. I know how to do the jobs in the department with my eyes shut but it feels like i dont have a clue now and feel like am stupid.
Anyway getting to the point has mums here or even dads i suppose felt the same as me and how long was it before you felt like you fitted back in or felt confident that you could still do your job.
I hope you all know what am meaning and think ave posted it in the correct topic thing.
shorite
When I went back to work after my eldest, I felt like a new girl. Stupid things like the girl covering my job had my calculator...
Then a colleague could see how I was behaving, came in and said something along the lines of "you're not the new girl, she is. You've been here 5 years, she's been here 4 months (the time I was off). S - give J back her calculator!"
Oh how I wish I had the guts to speak like that!!
You are not the new girl. You know you are good at your job. You are there for a reason - for an income.
I became so focused on my work I was able to block out everything else.
I think I'd been there about 6 weeks before my colleague stepped in though. If she hadn't, I would have never got over that feeling, I don't think.
Loads and loads of hugs shortie.
I am telling everyone that I've consumed alcohol, as it is such a rare event. It could be that tomorrow I'll be doing a load of editing and/or deleting - or the moderators will!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello shortie2
It is great to see you here, we have missed you.
I have just moved this topic to the "work" section.
Becoming a parent has changed you forever, you have different priorities now and sometimes we have to do things we don't like just to care for our children. it is all-too easy to lose confidence when we have been out of things for some time but as alisoncam says, you have been back for a while now and things haven't improved on their own.
No-one should have to do a job they hate that much (it sounds as if it is the people you don't like, more than the job though?) Why not start a determined campaign now, to find another job. I know there isn't a lot around at the moment, but as someone with a lot of experience, you have a big advantage over many other applicants. I know that with childcare you have to consider what hours will fit in with your Mum and her own work but have a really good look around. You have time on your side as you have the security of your present job.
On a personal note, what coping techniques could you use in the meantime? Are you someone who likes numbers and can divide the day into fractions and think, that's two-thirds of my shift worked? or are you someone who likes to imagine things? Sometimes I get through difficult situations by pretending I am in a film. What would your film be called?
Hi Shortie2,
I don't think we've 'met' before I'm HelenT one of the moderators.
I think combining work and motherhood is an impossible task. I often have to remind myself at work that I am doing a good job, I think I feel guilty at work in case they 'suspect' that my priority is my children (ridiculous I know, all parents priority is thier children!) and this makes me doubt my performance, despite that fact that I know I work really hard and put in 100% all the time. Does this seem similar to how you are feeling?
HelenT
I cant think if we have meant Helen T but nice to meat you..
Alisoncam: My sexuality I meant that with me being straight and the majority of the folk in my department being gay, lesbian, bisexual etc.
Am forever looking for a new job but getting sick of that aswell. I feel quilty at being away from my daughter from 5.30 am until 1.15pm 5 days a week. The days am working she doesnt even know am away to work until she wakes up between 6.30 am and 7.30am. To be honest I dont even know what am wanting know.
You probably think am just having a moan for the sake of it. Am sorry. Thanks for replying its grateful appreciated.
Shorite x
I'd love to be inspired when it comes to work.
I think I possibly have an incling of a thought now (which hopefully doesn't involve too much spelling!)
Yes, shortie 2, that is the key to it: think about what you DO want, otherwise it is hard to focus on moving forward. It sounds to me as if you are just fed up with your current job, full stop, which does make it harder to think about the solution.
sparkling lime, we always like to hear about your inklings.....
Thanks for the replies. Sorry its been a while since ave been on.....really need to start coming back on more regularly. xx
Hi Shortie. How have you been? Lovely to see you here. How's your little girl? Any news on the job front? I do hope things are a bit better for you at work.
x
Hello shortie2
Look forward to hearing your news...
Hello
It's good to see you 
Hi Shortie2,
How's it all going? Please don't feel like your moaning its awful feeling guilty all the time, you don't want to bottle it up, we are here to listen to you.
HelenT
Hi Shortie. Sorry to hear that you're feeling like this about your job. I didn't quite understand what you meant about your sexuality though! Do you think you are feeling like this because perhaps you want to be at home with your daughter? Is there any chance of getting another job, away from where you work now I mean, not just a different department? This is just a guess, but after being back there for 7/8 months, I would have expected to have settled back in by now.
I hope you are ok Shortie, it's lovely to hear from you again.
x