This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
HI,
ive been a single parent for 3 years now and since pregnancy, i felt i lost my circle of friends,. I often feel alone and as if nobody understands. I dont expect non-parents to understand the difficulties of bringing up a child, but it'd be nice to have somebody there with a listening ear. *its usually me who is the listener*.
Any experiences youve had with friendships/losing friendships would be nice to hear about, to know that im not alone.
I do have 2 good friendships, (although i think the one person wnats more than a friendship, which is something that i dont want, so i have to be careful) which im glad for, but i still feel as if i need more?!?
I often feel trapped, for example id like to work to develop friendships/socialising this way, however my confidence has been knocked so much, that im scared to move forward in this area of my life. Any advice here??
thank you :)
Hi there pink lilly and Tinkerbell2,
Yes friendships are a hard thing to come by, however when you have small children I found that it was easier than when they get older.
Have a read of this article Making New Friends as now is the time to make those moves.
Friendships fluctuate throughout life, people come and go and move in different directions, however as your children are small, you have a lot to share with another single parent.
Remember 1 in 4 parents is a single parent, so there are plenty of us out there.
We have to find the confidence to make that initial conversation, ask the person about themselves. Invite them round for coffee or to meet at the park. Relationships don't happen instantly they take time to grow.
Have a look at our article on Self Confidence for some tips.
When my daughter was at nursery, I made a very good friend, by noticing her son's clothes, he always wore primary colours and I commented to her how cheerful he always looked. We were both broke, but we had the best of times rummaging in our fridges and coming up with a picnic between us!
Our children have grown up and moved in different directions so we don't see each other very often now, but when we do, we both know that we have each others backs.
hi tinkerbell, youve hit the nail on the haed really and i feel my life is very similar to yours. And i also feel glad that my child is number 1, irrelevant of friends etc. And my child knows this (subconsciously) :)
Anna - ill take a look at self confidence tips page as i feel i need it sometimes. And i certainly need to make new friends ...... NOW :)
I know relationships take time, but im so impatient when it comes to them as i feel so alone a lot of the time (as i said above). Again, its just reminding yourself that things are goijg in the right direction and i know ill get there in the end. its just hard :(
It is hard pink lilly, I do agree!
You have made some friends here for starters...and we are here at all times of the day!!
Read the article and let us know what steps you are going to take and we can go through them with you. 
I can relate to that Pink Lilly. When I became pregnant my "beat friend" made it clear she wasn't happy as it ment no more wild nights out. I hardly see her now unless she wants something. I have friends with kids bit they have partners so always busy doing family things. I feel I have lost many friends since the birth of my daughter and they only call me when they have problems or need a place to stay for the night- I figured out these people where not true friends to begin with. I often get txts saying "you coming out tonight?" them forgetting I have a baby and can't just drop everything or them inviting me on a girls holiday then them moaning if I say I can't afford it. Having a child has made me grow up so much and I'm glad I'm doing something posative with my life, unlike them.
I have dated but even the guys expect me to drop everything , including my daughter to meet them- I get it's hard to understand if your not a parent yourself so no relationship ever works out which makes me sad as I would love more children but don't go anywhere to meet new people
It gets very lonely at times and sometimes I get jealous if they all go out but I would rather have my daughter :). I don't really have a lot of friends in the area I live and the single parent clubs are not very good and full of older woman that I wouldn't really mix with :(