I will help you flowers and you are helping me so much. Youngest is ill at home at the moment haven't been to the house because of it otherwise I would be there checking about all the floors going in right. Am nervous for tomorrow as SW will come to see boys again and even though she has already written the report I am still nervous. Next week is Court again and the removal its just a nightmare together.
Every time I have been to Court I feel more battered than with my ex, if that is possible. It is unbelievably inhuman. It takes me a lot of time to recover but I need to get on with it as the removal needs doing. Thank you for asking x
Hi flowers, i am so pleased that our legal advisor was able to help and put your mind to rest 
or at least feel more in control of that situation.
So now he wants to take one son off on holiday and not the other. Does he give a reason for this?
Hi Skyflower, I hope that your youngest is feeling a bit better after a day in bed/on the sofa. Just remember this will all come together. This time next year, it should all be behind you.
Going to court is nerve wracking, however worrying about it isn't going to change anything. You have done everything you can at this point, so although it's easier said than done, can you try to give yourself a huge pat on the back for giving it all you have got and then try and release a bit of the stress from it all. What can you do/take with you/have in mind to make you feel stronger on Court day?
Don't know Anna just have to keep chin up keep calm and break down when in car as I always do this time
at least I have all you I can talk to x
hI everyone so sorry havent had computor for 2 days argh!!! back on now . So sorry to hear u having really bad days Skyflowers . How did it go with SW? Hope your sAnyon is better to bless him. Any more news on house and getting sorted .? this would b one less headache for u.Do u get other support for u apart from on here as well which is brilliant? You always give out good advice to other people\and would b nice to know u getting lots ofsupport as well.
Well i went to solicitors got legal aid so im filing for divorce also i can move my son he may take me to court but he has no money plus they think court would go in my favour as good case. i have said h can stay over 1 night in wk also saturday saturday night them back lunch time so t has him at home as well. what do u thinnk does this sound reasonable to u ? im new to this . i fed up with h being put to bed at 8 30 an gone on a school night. here he goes at 7 on school night hes ionly 4.So iver come back a positive and stronger person today ,. my solicitor is sending a letter out to him which i know he wont b happy so im ready with legal team and professional help and meeting all u lovely people . who have been fantastic to me. so i thank you all very much.
I hope your day is going ok as well. Weve got to try and keep strong for us and our children.xxx
So glad it is going well for you flowers. I have just calculated all the invoices and for just a few letters and phone calls I have paid more than £ 10,000 it is not doable anymore to be honest, I simply can't afford it anymore. Together with 4 times barrister it amounted to nearly £20,000 just these last few months, since August really.
I have been contacted now by a McEnzie Friend? And she is really willing to help and has already read through a lot and said she has had much worst. As my solicitors seemed to be working for the other side despite all these invoices, it can't get much worst.
Social worker did not show up yesterday I was very surprised actually as she especially phoned for it, something must have happened. I phoned yesterday but I have not been phoned back today.
In the mean time things continue, tomorrow lots of deliveries at the house, furniture for the boys so the first part is starting to look good at the same time viewings here, which by now I am really fed up with as everything has been paid for until the end of the month and I am moving next week. They wanted me to have people yesterday and already several were coming Saturday, so I said all on Saturday and that is it.
Speak later Flowers, hopefully, glad you are fine xx
aww im so sorry to hear all this pain today from u Skyflower . Icant believe the bills u have paid out . no wonder u struggling . who are the people helping you out? are they going to take over so u dont have to pay anymore solicitors bills?Was there abuse in your relationship as this was how i got my help from solicitor.i feel really bad what i put to day i was just so happy but wasnt thinking properly for u and your situation and bills u have had to pay out. i so hope all this nightmare will go away soon for u Skyflower u keep strong for u and kids. i know bloody easier said then done but u are doing amazing and soon u will b in your lovely house,one step towards normality.big hugs.xx
Hi Skyflowers, you have spent out a huge amount of money, that can feel so draining. It really frustrates me when professionals call meetings and then they don't show up, don't phone, don't give any explanation, it feels as though you are being let down time and time again.
Are you spending tomorrow cleaning the house? I've heard candles, mood lighting, fresh coffee and freshly baked bread/cakes all help with the sale of a house :)
flowers, your news is good and you should share it, I am sure Skyflower likes to hear that you have had a positive day, sometimes it helps lift us too :)
You are right Anna it is such a waste of money especially as there is no effort done and this kind of money could be used for kids university. Have just been to the house flowers it does really look beautiful and so peaceful we will be so happy there thank you Anna for all the ideas you are so supportive both. Yes I wrote to several Mp 's and it has paid off as I got this person from them so even if she doesn't completely know the case it will be helpfull sitting in. My case became complicated flowers as judge decided there was domestic abuse witnessed by children (mine are older than yours) but judge decided they have not been abused themselves and therefore can't be scared to see their dad. If they are not positive and looking forward to visiting I must have put it in their heads. Social worker has made brilliant report though, I am so lucky but it can still be overruled. I am so glad you have such good news flowers and 5 years from now we will all hopefully be at a better place :)
As for the SW It wasn't necessary that she came it was the judge that made her do this report to check if the children came to emotional harm from me as they still don't want to visit their dad. Because report was finished she had just wanted to say goodbye but must have changed her mind.
I had told the children and they were waiting for her That part was not good but it's alright as it's all finished and they will not be further involved.
Hi Skyflower, it is lovely to read that you see your new home as beautiful and peaceful, you will very soon be in there.
I am still shocked and surprised that Judges these days believe that children who have witnessed violence aren't affected by it, he must be from the dark ages.
Do you have any plans for this weekend?
Hi Anna,
the children were abused Anna, just couldn't prove it.
I would love to just chill out but no, I am getting 4 viewings for where I am now and I really haven't got the energy. The roads are with roadwork and big diggers take my parking space so I have to park a mile away and like to put some boxes in my car already to bring to the new home, cant be done this way. Today I have spent waiting for furniture at the new house, and only part could enter, wardrobe could not take the turn, the rest had to be sent back so they can sent a flatpack which will need assembly again and that will take weeks. It seems like things go wrong.
Had ordered mostly laminate and tiling, tiling went wrong, there was no splashback in the kitchen and that was tiled, which needs changing, behind heating system was a big hole forgotten and they put carpet in hallway instead of laminate. The washingmachines ordered silver came white but I can't be bothered to return it. I just came home, and just want to chill out boys are hungry.
aww Skyflower since ive come on here this is the most down ive heard u sound u really are going through hell.. I so wish i could take some of this pain away from u . Big Hugs . I hope there is justice out there for u oneday because u so need it.As for the abuse i just dont understand the judge.what do we have to go through to get justice done!!!!!!!!!! makes me so so angry when reading your posts.xx Try and stay positive dont let him bring u down plzzzzzzz.xx
thank you flowers you have become such a nice friend. xx
Hello flowers and Skyflower, hope the weekend goes well for you both in your different situations. The thing that is being demanded from you both is patience. This is something I find very challenging myself!! Remember what Anna said, this time next year you will look back and be amazed at how much you have accomplished. Read some of the stories on here and you will see 
Hi Louise, Anna and Skyflower. How are u all . I hope your day wasnt to bad yesterday Skyflower and hopefully u have had some good viewers and no time wasters. What are u up to today. hoping u are ok keep chin up u are doing amazing even if it doesnt feel like it sometimes. big bugs.xxx
yes u are so right patience i dont have any especially when it comes to difficult situations i want answers like yesterday. I think this steems for me becausei am such a worrier Louise. Dont know about u skyflower u got more going on than me atm.x
im off out to lunch today with all the kids and my mum and dad so looking forward to that. Weather awful out there. feel so sorry for those poor people having houses flood
ing.makes u feel how lucky we are. hope u all have a good peaceful day.x
Yes I always want answers yesterday too, flowers, so I can sympathise with that feeling.
Have a good lunch today and stay as dry as you can, it's horrendous weather
Hi Flowers Louise, Anna, yes it is patience and endurance. It is a better day today, yesterday was messed up with a lot of viewers that didn't turn up, the ones that did, wanted to see every little corner of the house and garage, very intruding as they plan to rent it for only 6 months, having their house built.
Hope you have a lovely day with your parents flowers, I will just take it very very easy today, gathering papers for tomorrow and write down what needs saying as next time will be a different ball game in court. I am a worrier flowers, sometimes I can't stop that mind of mine with continuously the same thoughts that are not helpful as they only tire you down going round like that.
Here no rain Louise, lovely weather, blue and cloudy sky ...
Good luck with the viewings, Skyflower, I always found it a big pressure to keep the house decent for people coming round. Lots is going on for you every day so you ARE making progress even if that's hard for you to see at times. Thoughts going to you tomorrow.
Thank you Louise, You are right about the house having to be tidy in any case I will be out very very soon :) and one stress less. Thank you for tomorrow Louise. 
hope you will have a nice week, and speak soon again
Thinking of you today Skyflower, let us know how you get on, we are all with you xx
Thank you Anna and everyone, I will leave in 5 minutes xx
Hi Skyflower, how did it go today?
Hi Sally it was an awful day with many ups and downs but still can't believe it.He has given up thanks to Section 37 report. I now get full custody, he does not want contact direct or indirectly, apart from birthday and Christmas.
We can move into our new home and actually live in peace, my brain can't get it yet that it is really over and we do not have to go to Court anymore.
Thank you so much for all the support, as without you I would not have been able to hang on thank you thank you thank you xxx
Fantastic news skyflower, no more court.. i'm glad that you have finally got the right outcome, the only way is up from here, you deserve it
Thank you so Sally it is still so amazing, he does not even want to buy birthday and Christmas presents anymore, just send cards those days. No more being scared, and finally finally finally living peacefully xx
he flowers, you have been such a lovely friend, thank you so much for helping me xx
Wow fantastic news im so so happy for u all Skyflower u so deserve this and justice has been done. i hope your journey will b a more positive one now. onwards and upwards. what a hell of a relief for u . Ive been thinking of u today. Now to get into your new home with your family!!!! yippeee. xxx
I know!!! Still can't believe it and so sudden !!! I was so scared for today and then this outcome !!! yeeee xx
thank you flowers :) xx
I'm so happy for you skyflower, big hug xxx
Thank you Sally xxx
OH MY GOOOOOODNESSSSSS! Congratulations!! Wow, what a turn around!! Here is a mahoosive bunch of flowers, especially for you!
Your life is your own again
SO! Did you celebrate last night? Are you still celebrating today? I bet when you woke up this morning and remembered the outcome you sighed a huge sigh of relief and hopefully a massive smile filled your face?
Anna my brain can somehow not perceive it...I woke up at 3 in the night and couldn't sleep anymore it still runs its course in my brain
Last night I came home, fed the boys and just went to bed, I was shellshocked and so tired and so amazed....
Thank you so much for your lovely flowers, so amazingly beautiful.
Tonight I am going actually to the teenager course as I wanted to show Court that I am pro active, it actually is a nice bunch of people, maybe I should bring a bottle of wine with me and celebrate and say goodbye ?
yes, prisoner no more !!!! I will get the passports back and can finally visit my family after 3 years xx
Oh that's great that you will be able to go visit your family Skyflower, did you celebrate last night at the group?
no Anna, I actually kept it silent, but there is another parent there in a similar situation, so I gave the website where she could make her case asking if she could have a mcKenzie friend :)
I don't dare to hope yet as I just received a horrible e-mail from him, I will ask my solicitor what my rights are regarding this, I can't seem to relax about it at all to be honest, still looking over my shoulder though an order is an order
Hi Skyflower
I hope your solicitor was able to give you clear advice with regards to the email you received this morning?
Have you had any thoughts about that appeal, so that you can draw a line under this once and for all?
Hi Anna,
Have fowarded email but not heard back yet and now I won't have my computer running until at least Tuesday as Monday afternoon they will install broadband and phone. I will phone and pass by the solicitor as I need to go in for (expired) passports and will ask reaction to it.
Tomorrow I move and I am very nervous about it as really everything has gone wrong.
Tomorrow they will also build the wardrobe so I might be able to hang some clothes after all. Don't know yet when they will exchange carpet in hallway, and Friday I will finally get washingmachine. I have been washing here all towels and bathmaths, but the floors everywhere are full of mud, there because its new built and here because of roadworks.
The house is so lovely though with high ceilings in the bedrooms and today the boys beds came so at least those are installed, washed and they can just move into their rooms.
I am hopping from one side to the other Anna. the McKenzie friend said I really should consider it because it would keep all my options open and my name cleared, she said with the reports now it would not be too difficult to win at all, I have a very very good case.
On the other side I have already poured in so much money and I am nearly broke now. And am desperate for some peace and so happy to have my freedom back, to be able to go where we want to and no visits or any sort of stress. I have obtained full custody and peace for us all.
The reason the McKenzie friend said was to make sure it would really stop now and otherwise 2 years down the road it might start again until youngest (10) will be 18. That he can restart the case whenever he wants to.
There is then the fact that he values money so much that we did not go on holidays for years because he did not want to spend the money (note he earned £ 6400.00 a month plus bonus. That I could not buy the dresses I wanted or he complained I spent too much on boys clothes ( £ 300 for both including coats for all winter and school clothes) and we never went out. We have had 3 meals out in 6 years.
This report is now against him any way. It states though the judge does n't believe they were abused but witnessed it, she believes they were abused. The first Cafcass report states that as well.
If I start the whole thing up again, he might appeal maybe again? The McKenzie friend said it would be 1 day in London and then a FOF. Maybe I should ask your expert actually, what consequences are of this choice.
Thank you for asking Anna, did you hear anything from Flowers as she seems so quiet ? xx
Good Luck with your move today skyflower, it is difficult to know what to do for the best so i empathise with your situation, i hope your solicitor is able to make your decision easier
Flowers seems not to have been on for a few day's hopefully she will be back on soon.
You made my decision easy Sally, on the other thread, thank you so much for that. I have Cafcass report saying it and section 37 report.
I am finally free and no visits for the children. Judgment? who cares, I know what happened, the children know what happened, and really everyone else as well. Finally after 3 years of being battered in Court it is over, I have decided not to proceed I would be mad to start over again.
Flowers how are you ? What is your weekend going to be like ? How is it with you ?
worried about you xx
oh i sent message this morning to u all and its not on here. Sorry Skyflower i wishing u all the best for move in new house . hopefully u will get this message.Ho
hope everyone is ok making progress in your lives. i havent been on for a while had lot going on. My x got letter from my solicitor today so he is kicking off. im trying to stay strong as i knew this would b his reaction but at the same time im scared what he will do . im on safe guarding so make me feel abit better. Hopefully it will calm down. He using my 2 eldest against me now how low can he go!!!!
went to a relaxation class today did me world of good would highly recommend.
So whats everyone been upto?x
Hi Flowers,
I can't see the message you sent earlier anywhere either, not sure what happened there. If it happens again, can you drop us at One Space team a line so we can find out what went wrong?
The relaxation class must be working Flowers, despite x kicking off and his using your kids against you, you sound very calm about it all! As long as you are safe. Good to know you have some safe guarding in place. Do you feel that's enough?
Still over the moon about Skyflower's story, such a good positive outcome! Skyflower, did Anna say that we were all celebrating at One Space when you told us? Good luck with house move, look forward to hearing the details next week!
Hi from me flowers, I am so sorry to hear that your ex is kicking off, although I guess we couldn't really have expected anything different. It will all calm down eventually, we just have to keep putting one foot in front of another. You eldest 2 children will come round once all this has been sorted too, I am sure of it.
Glad the relaxation class went well, tell us more!
I hope you have a restful weekend and enjoy some time with your little onesx, big hugs
thank you Sergiozed and Anna, yes safeguarding enough atm thank you. Im a bit baffeld myself where it went to as well. hopefully Skyflower will see my other message i left here.
Relaxation class was great did breathing exercises talked alot left all out crap in class to come out and start a new day. Lovely group of woman . t was very good in creche so that helped as well because i felt guilty leaving him.
I think im going to have to go back on one of my meds because i can feel my mood slipping again due to all thats going on atm. i wanted to come off of this one but im going to have to b defeated. always another time got to look at it this way. bit gutted.im trying to b calm Sergiozed but just lately things have got the better of me.
Hope everyone is ok . Read on chat people got lots going on . starting new book different classes people going to good luck with it all.
thank you for message about coffee morning im being a bit thick how would this work if u advertised it on here as we are all over the place. am i being thick here and not quite understanding.
Hello flowers, great that the relaxation class was helpful, anything nice you can do for yourself is good. Don't hesitate to go back to the doctor if you do think you need some help with medication as this is a difficult time for you.
If you wanted to start a group it would obviously be in your local area and what Anna meant was that we could put it in our local information section as one of the places you could publicise it. Starting a new venture has got a few aspects to it, so maybe it is worth thinking and jotting a few ideas down?
Why over the last few days have i been feeling so alone? Do i need someone in my life? is this a normal feeling when recent break up of marriage. ?def dont want him back just feel lonely. can anyone relate gto this?some people have said u have to find tyourself 1st be4 u go in to new relationship and yes i partially agree but sometimes id like company on an evening when kids in bed. or am i just on a downer and just talking a load of rubbish. how i am tonight. Hope everyone else is ok. x
Good morning flowers, yes you are just on a downer ! You will get through this. It may take a couple of days or it may take a couple of weeks, so be kind to yourself and allow the process to happen.
You have been through the drama of splitting up and then felt the initial high/relief that follows and now things have become a little more settled you may be looking around and wondering if being on your own 'Is so great after all!?'
You are feeling lonely, you are used to sharing your evenings, having someone to chat to, rather than moving around the house silently after the children have gone to bed.
I absolutely believe that we need to find ourselves before we meet someone new otherwise we just carry our baggage over. You are currently going through your transition of finding yourself.
This could be seen as an exciting time in your personal life, a time to find out about you now, what makes flowers tick.
In your message above you write down all the things that are lacking in your life, which is bound to bring you down yes? When in that mode, even if you don't feel it, try writing down all the advantages in your life that have come about since you split up and other positives. Even as simple as 'I am able to find some support from One Space!!'
Prehaps you could try and set up a new evening routine for yourself? Something that you want to do, listen to happy music, write a poem, re arrange your front room? I really found Marc and Angels tips for a productive life really useful.
Feeling positive isn't going to happen overnight, but keeping taking small steps forward will and we are here to support you. And remember Today is the first day of the Rest of Your Life
Join us on Facebook to get positive stuff everyday :)
Hi Flowers,
{{{big hug}}} have been thinking about you was so worried not to hear from you.
Yes Flowers when I had just left many times my emotions went from relief to loneliness and sometimes doubting if I had done the right thing and wanting to go back but knowing that I couldn't. We are going to help you through this Flowers and if you feel lonely text on here and I will text you back. Thank you Flowers, for all your support xx
Have broadband and phone since this morning, still have to figure out how to make a new e-mail address as I changed provider and removal went a bit badly, so there is so much to sort out. No deliveries as most can't find address but house is lovely.
It has been sinking in finally no more Court as I am talking about it now with people it is starting to become real and thank you all for celebrating for me as I haven't even done that yet. :) Thanks to all of you I could hang in there until the end. So very grateful to you, speak soon, have to unpack boxes :)
Hang in there Flowers, xx
aww thank you so much Skyflower means alot. I feel like another problems been lifted. im sure im going to come across a lot of problems but 1 down!!!!!
Hope you are ok today, what have you been up to? Whats the news on the house. Nightmare for u that u really dont need!!!! moving is stressful enough.x