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Hello
I'd really welcome some advice here. My 10 year old son is a nightmare to get to do his homework. It is such a struggle. He is never short of praise or my time to sit down with him to guide him but it always a battle.
and then when he does do it he forgets to give it in. There have been so many times that I have found his homework stuck in his diary planner. Scuffled at the edges! When I do ask him to do his homework he gets in a strop and stomps out of the room. I have tried to reason, I have tried to discuss how and why he needs to do it, have praised him when he does it and when he gives it in on time, have told him off when he hasn't. I am obviously tackling this in the wrong way.
He is a clever boy however maths isn't his strongest subject so I want to help him even more in this area by looking at times tables or giving him a few sums here and then... not the most interesting way to spend 10 or 15 mins I know, but it is important.
Today I saw a big scrawl in his planner written by the librarian for him to return a book - a book which he was due to return weeks ago and has a fine for. He knows he has to take responsibility and pay the fine himself but he can't find the book.
I have banned him from watching tv for a bit and from Pokeman cards (it is THE in-thing at his school) until he takes more responsibility for things.
Any ideas? Help!!
Hi mamaoftwo. Those are good suggestions from Louise. I don't often battle with C over his homework, as generally he is good with it, and on the ball. He gets it on the Friday and hands in on the Tuesday. Not sure what it'll be in year 4 though!! Last Sunday however, it hadn't been done, he'd gone to his cousins overnight and was really tired when he returned. Monday, after school, I reminded him it had to be done, and there was a 7 or 7.30 deadline. If it wasn't done then, it would be him that would have detention not me. Glad to say it did get done, phew
I know a friend of mine battles with her son, who detests everything about school!
The maths thing, C and I do it on the computer, which I think is a more fun way of doing it. There are several sites too, so I will try and put them on here for you shortly. Who wants to be a millionaire maths one is a great one. Different levels of maths too.
Hope you're feeling better this morning. If you want man-flu, you're entitled to it, hehe.
Maths here who wants to be a millionaire maths game here
Can't find the easier millionaire game at the moment, but take a look through this here
Morning
Thank you both for your useful comments. Louise he started middle school last September and will be in year 6 come this September. Good idea about the reward system. I think 'calm and firm' needs to be my mantra - I'll be chanting around the house before the homework discussion he he he.
Thanks for the suggestion of the maths websites Hazeleyes. Will look back on here later to see the links. Glad that C gets on with his homework.
Just sipping a beechams as I need to have woman-flu today. Man-flu will have to wait till tonight when I don't need to do anything. He he he.
Have a good day xxx
Here is another, sorry, doing it in dribs and drabs here Think this one is all different, fractions, adding, times etc.
Ahhh Hazeleyes
Many thanks for the links. I have saved them to D's folder on the pc so he can easily access them. They look really good sites.
Have a good day xx
Hi mamaoftwo. They are good, and I love the millionaire one, even play it by myself 
Hope this helps your son. I always think if learning can be made fun, then the children respond more to it.
How are you feeling today? xx
Hi Hazeleyes, yes definitely agree. If learning can be made fun the children do respond better to it. D likes Horrible Histories (actually I like it too lol) as it a fun way to learn snippets about history..... well the horrible bits.
I'm ok - still full of cold though. Hope you are well x
Horrible Histories is one of C's favourites too. I've just bought him the album for £4, book people at the school. Got it for him in advance for his super report, which I'll be getting today!!!
Hi mamaoftwo, have you spoken with your son's teacher about his homework? Does he get a penalty at school if it is not done?
It's important to crack this one NOW before senior school
The first thing I would say (and this is hard for parents) that there is an element of the child taking responsibility for his own work and taking the consequences if he does not do it. Whenj they are little we help them, understandably, and then as they get bigger we help them out and we cover up for them too as we can sometimes think it reflects badly on us as parents if they have not done it.
You are already doing Praise, you already help him out with work that is challenging (maths), they are both good things. I agree with the sanctions for not doing it, as you say you are doing, but if it is a case of "you are banned from Pokemon until you can take more responsibility" then that is a bit open ended and non-specific. I would suggest simplyfying it so he can see that not only are there consequences at school, there are also consequences at home.
So how about sitting down with him and saying "Ok I know that getting into the homework routine is hard for you but it is something we need to do and when you get to senior school there will be a lot more so you need to sort it now. It is your responsibility to do work, I will always help with things you find hard but you are a big lad now." He will no doubt come up with all sorts of objections and moans, and then you say "We don't have a choice and so I am going to have to set up a system that works. I am now in charge of the Pokemon cards and once you show me your homework diary and completed homework every night, I will lend you the cards until X (bedtime) then I get them back again and we do the same the next day"
You could also have a reward system running alongside that says when you have done this well for X number of nights (5?)you can stay up half an hour later/have a magazine/whatever. Stay calm and firm. If he says " I hate you" you just say "I am sorry to hear that but we still need to get this homework sorted so that is what we are doing" Look as if you are completely un-stressed and unemotional about it all, make your voice calm and firm and look him in the eye, without smiling.
Good luck!!!